Dh paid out to settle
I am so upset. Dh used our down payment on a house to settle ss stabbing that boy. He paid out almost $20,000 to that family. It was dh's money saved from his paycheck and savings, none of mine but still!! That was our buy a house money that he has been saving for 5 years and some stocks dh has had since he was a child. Bm was pissed that we settled and called dh stupid. When I asked ss what he thought of that money leaving our home and going to that kids home he just shook his head and said he wouldn't of paid it. I asked him to at least thank his dad and he said no. He doesn't think we should of paid and we wasted our money. He told dh he just paid his bully for bullying him. This whole thing really sucks! I am so defeated right now and I can't stand the sight of ss!
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He discussed it with me and
He discussed it with me and felt it was the best decision. I'm upset with ss because had he not stabbed the boy we wouldn't have lost this money.
I am angry with the kid. It's
I am angry with the kid. It's allowed.
Probably. We just flushed
Probably. We just flushed $20,000 down the toilet so I am allowed to be ridiculous for a minute.
Yes. we did. We had $20,000
Yes. we did. We had $20,000 and now we don't. We don't even have anything to show for it. The money was wasted.
I am not taking it out on the
I am not taking it out on the kid so I am fine where I live. I'm just AAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG so frustrated that whenever we get ahead we get knocked down. This time over something his kid did.
No we haven't gotten renter's
No we haven't gotten renter's insurance yet. I've been meaning to look into it. We did discuss the money and he went with his attorneys advice.
It is not your money. This
It is not your money. This will sound very harsh but such is life. You need to let this go or leave your marriage.
Not her money? Really? In a
Not her money? Really? In a community property state, the law would say otherwise.
We weren't sued. This was a
We weren't sued. This was a settlement that our attorney set up. Bm has pulled SS out of that school and put him in a different one in the same district. She is suing the boys parents for her time off work and transportation cost to and from the new school.
BM is suing the victim's
BM is suing the victim's family???
this just keeps getting better and better....now, where's my popcorn?
Yes. He isn't a victim
Yes. He isn't a victim though.
Yes, yes he is. Your SS
Yes, yes he is. Your SS stabbed him. Pretty much makes him a victim of, you know, a stabbing.
I think the bully breaking
I think the bully breaking the SS's arm goes FAR beyond "schoolyard bullying."
I think it will be. It has to
I think it will be. It has to be otherwise there is zero justice in this world. This kid has terrorized ss. We have countless records of him bullying ss and medical bills from when he broke ss's arm. He is on probation for that.
and that's fine, but YOUR SS
and that's fine, but YOUR SS assaulted him.
Despite what you think, these are two separate incidents. One bullying incident and one stabbing incident.
being attacked does not
being attacked does not necessarily mean one can use deadly force.
It just doesn't. Could kid have hit bully and not gotten in trouble. Most likely. Kicked, fought back, you betcha.
Just because you are being attacked doesn't mean you can use deadly force. I cannot stress that enough.
Why hasnt the bully's family
Why hasnt the bully's family been sued for the expenses & the pain and suffering of the broken arm? This makes no sense.
(of course she is suing the
(of course she is suing the parents) EYEBALL ROLL KEY PLEASE
So your DH made a $20,000
So your DH made a $20,000 decision without your input??!! You are angry at the wrong person.
My bags would be packed and out the door. He just put you dead last. Laster than dead last. OMG. I am so mad for you. Does BM have a room you could rent out because, right now, she's a better person than your DH!
Good grief!!!
He paid his child's bully.
He paid his child's bully. The family won by their son being a little bully. PAID to anger another person so much that they got stabbed and then won money. All this child has learned is that if he bullies, he gets a lot of money!
I agree with Timmar - I would fight it every step of the way.
I will look into it. Thanks.
I will look into it. Thanks.
1. SS is not at fault - the
1. SS is not at fault - the persons giving him the knives is at fault, and when his knife got taken away they just bought him a new one
2. It was not your money
3. No one paid enough attention and SS got bullied, his arm got broken by this bully and yet the adults did nothing
and you direct your anger to SS? No hon, have a long hard look in the mirror and at your husband, then re direct your anger towards the both of you...
I agree here. I don't know
I agree here. I don't know why a lawyer agreed to a settlement though. It seems like the boy would have had a pretty good defense. I guess the issue probably came down to it would have cost 20K or MORE to go to court (it is spendy), so Dad felt the settlement was the quickest way to make it go away.
Your DH is a spineless,
Your DH is a spineless, testicle deficient man that you should not depend on for your current or future well being.
Many people here stress keeping finances separate as if that is the final solution. But if you retire with a penniless man you are still screwed and you will be sorry.
If you decide to grow old with this man you easily could end up dumped in a crappy Medicare hell hole of a nursing home as he's chose to spend his and your money on himself and the skid. After you've lived your life in increasingly crappy rentals.
Do what you have to do to financially take care of yourself - but do NOT subsidize him one penny now or later.
none of it was her
none of it was her money!!!
it was all DH's money he had in a savings account and he offered it for down payment on a house she wanted to buy, then this happened
You MISSED my point entirely.
You MISSED my point entirely. Yes it was all HIS money. But in the LONG TERM being with a man who has spent all of HIS money is a recipe for disaster.
My point - to spell it out - If one keeps entirely separate finances and one of the partners ends up with zero dollars at retirement - the other partner will either have to support them for the rest of their lives or boot them to the curb.
Having to support someone who has spent all of their funds totally negates the "separate finances" equation.
Booting someone to the curb is much easier if one is not 70 years old.
Yes... Separate finances
Yes... Separate finances doesn't have to mean that you don't have any joint financial goals. (like retirement or saving for a home).
Your DH is a spineless,
Your DH is a spineless, testicle deficient man that you should not depend on for your current or future well being.
Many people here stress keeping finances separate as if that is the final solution. But if you retire with a penniless man you are still screwed and you will be sorry.
If you decide to grow old with this man you easily could end up dumped in a crappy Medicare hell hole of a nursing home as he's chose to spend his and your money on himself and the skid. After you've lived your life in increasingly crappy rentals.
Do what you have to do to financially take care of yourself - but do NOT subsidize him one penny now or later.
Why didn't he sue for the
Why didn't he sue for the broken arm?
we asked this question before
we asked this question before and it got ignored..
too late IMO - they should've
too late IMO - they should've done it when it happened not now to counter...
wait, so the payout was total
wait, so the payout was total of 40K? BM 20 and dad 20?
or was the pay out only 20k and bm did not pay 1cent?
IF BM is suing I would believe it is on contingent basis and no out of pocket but possibly 36percent of the award.
Sad to think it is all about the money and not about the child who was bullied.