Is BM doing better financially then you and SO? No

Or is your home financially off better then BM's? Yes my home is better off financially

Or are both homes on even ground? No way

What contributes to the difference? The amount of CS that is paid or not paid? Better paying jobs? Underemployment? One person paying all the bills?
Even with the CS that DH pays BM, we are still better off financially because I have a way better paying job. DH doesn't make much money.
BM makes even less and her SO makes somewhere in the middle of BM and DH. I pay a majority of the household bills but I owed the house before we were married.
The joint bills DH pays for are car insurance, cell phones, groceries and a loan for home improvements and of course CS. BM hold her hand our regularly for 1/2 of everything under the sun. I have no issues at all with the amount of CS DH pays or even a lot of the 1/2's that BM requests. What I have an issue is her expensive tastes on a limited budget. She expects to buy the SS's $150 tennis shoes several times a year and wants DH to pay for 1/2. When in reality, BM nor DH can afford that type of luxury. That is just one example of a million things BM expects 1/2 for.

DH and I are much better financially. I believe our combined income is around 8-10 times what BM's income is. She is underemployed for sure. She lives with her parents and refuses to work more than minimum wage a few nights a week.

She doesn't pay child support but that will be changing soon. We don't need or care about her crappy $100 a month (based on her income) but we want to put it away for SD so she can at least get something from her crap lousy mother lol.

The difference is I've worked my butt off to make sure I'm financially sound. DH does alright, but I still make about 2-3 times what he makes because I spent from age 18 - now focused almost entirely on work. I made sure I was the top performing employee and that resulted in raises and promotions.

BM likes to say it's my obligation to provide for SD because I make good money. I provide for her, of course, because DH and I share incomes, but it's infuriating to think she thinks it's MY responsibility when I, unlike her, focused my time on making money, not having babies I couldn't afford.

Girhippo and StepDaddyBigBucks (CP BM and SF) are better financially than we are.

I'm the main breadwinner and make slightly more than the Girhippo. StepDaddyBigBucks makes way more than me. SDBB is on the Girhippo's Cadillac health insurance (they're married)

Chef makes less than me, the Girhippo and SDBB. Chef is NOT on my health insurance since there's no way I'd marry him due to his CS obligations. Don't want my income showing up on any CS forms.

State of NY requires that ALL household occupants in the NCP home show income. Whether you are married, not married, related or not related. They base CS on how much any household occupant in the NCP camp reduces household bills/obligations for the NCP CS obligor--which in theory, frees up NCP's income to pay CS to CP. They couldn't care less in the reverse (CP camp)

I would say BM is doing better financially than us. There is no child support and she only has to support SS5 eight days out of the month. She has a two income household and we, by choice, have only a one income household. I can't complain, we aren't struggling. We have two cars less than 3 years old and a house. With budgeting and planning we can afford vacations and fun things for the boys like BM does. It doesn't bother us, we would rather save up and go to Disney World for a week in the Summer than spend a mini fortune every weekend on toys and stuff.

BM's house hold apparently has the higher disposable income, based on what we found out during mediation, but they also have the higher debt due to their poor spending habits.

We have no debt or loans other than a small balance on my credit card, which I usually pay off. If it wasn't for me already owning my own home rather than the bank, it would be a different story all together.

So we are better off financially because of the difference of our debt levels and spending habits. If BM and her DH didn't have to have all those new toys, vehicles and expensive vacations, they would be way better off financially than us.

DH doesn't pay CS anymore, but even when he did we were way better off due to both of us working full time jobs. I also make about 2x what DH makes.

BM never worked when SK's were growing up, but had (has?) a lot of debt. Her first official job that I can recall (I've been around for 11+ years) was 2 weeks after CS stopped. I think her DH made it very clear that as long as she was bringing money into the household via CS, she didn't have to work. But once the CS stopped, she needed to get a job. Her DH is employed and probably makes decent money, but he isn't the sugardaddy I imagined she'd hook up with. I know she took college courses forever in order to stay out of student loan repayment, and she "graduated" about the same time SK's graduated from high school. Not sure what her degree was in, but she's now a cashier part time at a gas station/mini-mart.

BM is definitely better off for several reasons.

DH left his marriage to her and assumed 95% of the martial debt (credit cards and other petty loans) so she could refinance their home in her own name to keep it as to not upset the kids.

DH did not go after BM for an equalization payment or her pension

DH gave her full custody (kids were 13 and 17) at her request. Did not want to go though the court battle with teenagers in the middle. BIG MISTAKE. BM twisted it so DH did not care enough to want his kids and they refused to stay with him half of the time. Now BM gets full CS amounts for SD15 (almost 16) and partial for SD20 and DH doesn't not get them 50-50.

BM makes more money. Income split of BM 67% and DH 33% of special expenses. And at the moment DH is paying out over 50% of his take home pay in relation to his kids.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. In three years we will be in a better financial situation with only SD15's post secondary to worry about and at the moment her marks are not university material. Then BM can go hump a log...

Jabba and SF are better off.

i'll answer based on when dumb@$$ had primary physical custody. she was better off financially, TOTALLY. dh and i added it up once. she did not work, pay rent, or pay bills of any sort. she bought food with an EBT card. she got thousands from the IRS, and plenty from dh in c/s. dh and i both work full time and pay all our bills. turns out she ended up with over $10,000.00 per year liquid spending money.

which was $10,000.00 more than dh and i had.

since dh got full custody, she has kept her promise to not pay a dime. and of course we spend waaaay more now in bills then we used to have, and it far surpasses the amt that he used to pay out in c/s. it's depressing. our mortgage was due yesterday and we dont have enough $ in the bank to pay it (thankfully tomorrow's payday!) so things are simply very tight.

We are much better off simply because we work

BM lives of spousal support that DH pays her (hefty sum as she refused to work when they were married ), she lives in subsidized housing (one tiny room in a bad area) and works 15 hours minimum wages job.

So she can't possibly do better than us as we are college educated with state licensed professional jobs with nice incomes. We don't live in luxury snd we aren't rich but are comfortable

Although OSD says BM told her she sleeps on and off with her pot dealer so we think she is selling pot. So maybe she is richer than we know. We wish we knew for sure so DH can stop paying.

My exDH is a bit better off simply because he is lucrative business which just a different better off career.

I have no respect for women who live off men. Off current or exDHs. They don't bother to get education or decent career so they can simply sit on their butts and rely on men's salary then CS then alimony. Terrible

Well, this is one topic that finally warms my heart. For many years, BM had more disposable income because DH paid huge CS compared to his income. We were both fairly young lawyers in our legal practice trying to establish ourselves in our legal careers and trying to work as much as possible, all the while DH had to make everything stop EOW while he focused exclusively on SSs for 48 hours to the exclusion of everything else. We also had huge law school debt, and DH took ALL of BM's credit card debt just to get rid of her. During this time, we watched BM drive Mercedes, go on 4 trips to Europe and many, many other trips seemingly constantly, seemingly living the "good life." All the while, I myself was working hard to build my own legal career. Sadly, while SSs were NEVER in daycare, my own DSs spent 10+ hours a day in day care. The consequences of being married to a man with CS, but I love him with all my heart and soul and don't regret a thing.

Fast forward 18 years and we paid off our law school debt and DH's CS ended 3 years ago. Unfortunately for BM, that same year, DH and I finally became substantial owners in our law firm, and our income quadrupled. BM has a somewhat part-time job teaching at a college. I would guess our combined annual income now is 10-12 times her annual income. Since CS ended, she reconciled with her estranged DH#2 (whom she married 1 month after the divorce from DH was final), but he owns a used car lot and is not necessarily well-off. Our annual household income is probably 6-7 times theirs. One of the things I love most is that when we spend on my SSs a fraction of the amount we were paying BM in CS month in month out for a decade, they are in AWE. I take oldest SS's wife (my DIL) shopping and spend large sums of money on her and the step granddaughers without thinking about it, and she is so thankful, even though that was a drop in the bucket of what we paid BM every month all those years like clockwork. I LOVE knowing that BM will NEVER have her claws in my money or my life ever again. Yes, I'm now late 40's not late 20's as I was when I met my DH, and my youth is gone, but we are happier than ever, and finally free to enjoy ourselves, buy what we want, travel where we want. Honestly, that is priceless.

It's hard to say because BM is ALWAYS crying poor.
She can never help the skids out because she has no money, she would give them everything if only she could. You know how that goes.

We are doing okay. We have a healthy business and lots in savings. We've also got a good retirement plan set up.
We live well under our means but that could change because we've been looking at building a house soon.
We take great vacations but don't spend a lot on things.

BM is building a vacation home in a resort town but she's eyeliner deep in debt. At one point it looked like she wasn't going to have the money to finish the house. She won't be able to keep it and live in it, she'll have to sell it. Once it's sold she could be much better off than us, she had it listed briefly (when she needed money to get it finished) for 1.3 million.
However, she tends to reward herself regularly, new car, new trailer, new expensive name brand clothes, bags, shoes. So my bet is she'll be right back in deep debt.

If we are better off than her it's because of DHs earning potential. I've always done well enough. Once DH and I combined incomes and I controlled our money and started investing we did better.
She took her CS and used it to a build a new house and tried to maintain her lifestyle. She didn't get a real job till SS aged out and she had no choice.
So at nearly 50 she started a career while DHs business was established and doing well.
She's done very well In her career but she's not very good at saving.