allergy appointment update

We met with the allergist today and he would like to try the shots buttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, yeah a BIG BUT! She has a history of passing out (fake passing out) so before he will treat her for anything including testing he needs her pediatrician to physically clear her and he wants her cleared by a pediatric cardiologist before he will see her again. Dh called a few and the shortest wait is 3 weeks. She goes to the pediatrician next week so at least we are making progress. Ds met with his therapist yesterday and she suggested ds spend less time with Bear and more time doing normal teen activities. She wants him to join groups at school or at rec. I am thinking of signing him up for the teen bowling league near us as a start. I asked sd to invite him to the movies with her friends and I would drive and pay for bs and sd with popcorn and drinks. She said yes so they are going tonight.
Dh's parents suggested something and we are considering it. They suggested that once the carpet is replaced with the faux wood that sd move back in with us and that Bear go and stay with them while we figure things out. I'm going to talk with ds this weekend and see what he thinks. All I can say is Thank goodness it is Friday.

libbie's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Sounds like progress and

Sounds like progress and everyone is trying in your situation. Seems like some good resolutions are being purposed as well.

This is excellent news on all

This is excellent news on all fronts! It sounds like you still have a rocky road ahead but that there are solutions in sight. You should do something fun as a family this weekend to celebrate!. Maybe treat the family to a nice dinner; you all deserve it!

What changed your mind about

What changed your mind about having the dog move out (even just temporarily)? You seemed pretty against it the other day. I am just curious. I am glad things are moving forwards in a positive direction for you all.

Ds's therapist doesn't want

Ds's therapist doesn't want him to rely to heavy on Bear and she wants him to know that being a part of a family mean sacrifice. As long as Bear is with someone we trust and close she thinks ds will be fine. We are thinking of trying it and seeing how it goes.

So prior to that therapist

So prior to that therapist didn't think that DS needs more than a dog? The whole story is getting stranger by the hour

He is refusing to see her as

He is refusing to see her as a patient till she is cleared and ready for treatment. He flat out said he needs clearance from her pediatrician and pediatric heart doctor for her protection and his since she faints. He used her example of fainting in the road and said he isn't willing to risk that. I asked her pediatricians office to see if they could call the heart dr and she said she would.

Dh said he figured he better

Dh said he figured he better say something because once she starts treatment bm will call the dr and make sure he knows.

I bet the fainting stuff is

I bet the fainting stuff is on her records. From when Mom took her to the pediatrician. You've mentioned before no dr would agree to give SD this or that due to such and such. Whether SD told you she faked it or whether you/Dad know/think she did is moot point. SD's records go with her (most records are now at the ready for dr to click and pull being electronic records).

I guess fainting can have

I guess fainting can have something to do with your heart. He went on and on about blood pressure and stuff.

How does the allergist know

How does the allergist know she is going to need shots when he hasn't done the scratch tests to know what she is allergic to? Why can't he do that in the meantime?

It seems you are rushing your son into "normal" teen activities. Last week he had to be with the dog most of the time, and this week he is going to the movies and is going to start a bowling league. Doesn't he need time to ease into all of this?

I can't believe the therapist means he must sacrifice his dog for a blended family. Last week he couldn't live without the dog, and this week it is ok for him to give the dog up as long as it is to people he knows. How is he suppose to get comfort from the dog if he is living somewhere else?

Sending the dog to the Grandparent's house does not seem like a good idea. Then SD can't go there. Why have two houses that she might not be able to stay in?

All these changes seem to be happening quickly.

We asked him about the shots.

We asked him about the shots. He said we have to get the works ups done before he will see her again. How is it rushing when his therapist said he needs to be more social? Going to the movies and joining an activity seem like normal things kids do. I don't know if he can even join the bowling league yet we are going to stop in this Saturday and find out. I don't even know if Bear will be going to dhs parents house. It is something we are thinking about. I'm hoping ds will be open to it. As for sd we are making all the changes we researched and once everything is done and Bear is at dhs parents sd should be fine. No changes have actually happened so I don't understand why you think they are happening quickly. We are brainstorming right now.

I guess I felt like you were

I guess I felt like you were rushing things because last week there was no way Bear was leaving as your son needed him so much, and this week he might be gone as soon as the new floors are laid. There was all sorts of debate when you referred to Bear as a Service Dog. If he were truly a Service Dog, or even an Emotional Support Dog, I don't see how your son joining a bowling league and going to the movies would make him not need the dog. I would think it would take some time to make that transition. I also misunderstood the dog's role, I thought he was sometimes with your son outside of the house.

From the tone of you your initial email I thought these were "for sure" things. If you are just brainstorming, I hope they work out. And I hope your son gets to keep his dog in some way.

That's strange. Just recently

That's strange. Just recently kid couldn't live without his dog and now it might just go live with grandparents

Oh yeah it's even weirder

I'm trying to make this work.

I'm trying to make this work. We haven't talked to ds about it yet but I am hoping he will at least try it.

do stepgrandparents have

do stepgrandparents have basement with stairs?

Never mind...

??

We are trying. I am trying so

We are trying. I am trying so hard to make this work. I'm hoping ds will make some friends and be okay with Bear being at dhs parents. He feels bad that sd and dh can't be here because of Bear and he has been helping me research what we can do. I think he knows what is coming. Dh is going to use his Lowes card and get the faux wood put down and I am going to pay to have the vents cleaned which I didn't even know was a thing if Bear goes to his parents.

I think that Libbie is trying

I think that Libbie is trying very hard to do right by everyone in the situation. I don't thinkit is a position anyone wants to be in.

We all handle things differently, Some of us would have wanted resolution before the daughter moved in but it is what it is and she clearly loves both her husband and her son and is trying to do the best for them both.

Hell would freeze over before

Hell would freeze over before I traded a pet for my stepdaughter.

Clearly the OP loves her

Clearly the OP loves her husband enough to not put a dog ahead of the health needs of his child.

Keeping her husband is more important than keeping a dog.

Dup

Am I the only one thinking

Am I the only one thinking that she's got the golden ticket to keeping skids away? }:) }:)

I don't want to keep my

I don't want to keep my stepkid away. It's important to dh that he raise her and dh is important to me.

Getting rid of carpet is

Getting rid of carpet is actually a great step and could help tremendously. My dad and I ripped out all of the carpet in our house at the time and refinished the amazing hard wood floors that were under the carpet. It helped a lot... but ... not enough.

I think the path you are taking is a good one. Do what you can to support the problems both kids are having, stage through effective medical and environmental treatments for SD's allergies/asthma, work on your DS's anxiety issues, and hopefully you will arrive at a solution that works.