Dh paid for bms new truck! I am infuriated!!

So bm after pleading broke and unable to afford a shirt for her kid shows up driving a brand new truck. I suspected that dhs parents had something to do with it but I didn't expect to find out that dh's dad (stepdad) would give bm dh's work bonus!!! Today is bonus day at dhs work and dh didn't have an envelope and there was no extra deposit in our account. Dh called his dad to ask what was going on and his dad told him his bonus this yr was knowing his kid had safe and reliable transportation!! I can't f@cking believe they did this! Dhs dad gave her his bonus which should have been $50,000!!!

Goblin's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

OMG really? Your husband

OMG really?

Your husband needs to get a job where his paycheck is not subject to the whims of a relative. That's it. no other solution. If he continues to work for his step dad.. he is opening himself up to this happening again.

When SF wants to know why he quit, he can tell him that while he understands his SF's viewpoint, that he can't work for an employer who decides how his money is spent. period.

Time for your DH to find a

Time for your DH to find a new job. Your DH's dad needs to learn how to keep the personal life separate from the business, which he had no business giving away someone's bonus. So very unethical.

Dh can't just up and leave

Dh can't just up and leave his job. He is supposed to inherit the company when his dad retires. DH has worked here since he was 14. I just can't believe they did this!!

From the actions of the

From the actions of the StepDad, I wouldn't hold my breath on your DH inheriting anything. He may as well leave it to BM.
That relationship is just toxic.

Up and leave?? Who said that?

Up and leave?? Who said that? Most people job hunt and accept a new position before giving notice and the old job.

Don't count on this man leaving your husband the company. That may be the EXPECTATION, but, at this rate, he's going to leave the bloody company to SS and BM.

He isn't going to leave the

He isn't going to leave the company to bm but I told dh he might leave it to ss and dh disagrees.

"DH disagrees" And yet who

"DH disagrees"

And yet who has his 50k bonus? "SS" does according to Gramps.

Dh is paid a bit more than

Dh is paid a bit more than average for his position but the bonus he should have received is what others in his position are accustomed to. Dh has been since he was 14 so his pay reflects that.

HRNYC - you mean ducks like

HRNYC - you mean ducks like she does here??

I get $60/per for every year

I get $60/per for every year I am in my job. Gosh, my puny little 2000 as my bonus this year is a joke.

lol, our bonus is between 3%

lol, our bonus is between 3% and 6% of our yearly salary. I usually get around 4500.

DH is regional manager so his

DH is regional manager so his bonus is much higher than the rank and file get.

It's also not high for legal

It's also not high for legal jobs. My bff is a first year corporate lawyer. Her bonus alone is 60k. Pretty sure the 3rd years and partners are making triple that.

I was thinking I wish I could

I was thinking I wish I could be a GUBM and get $50,000. J/K OP's DH must make 6 figures probably no wonder why BM is after him.

He makes 6 figures with his

He makes 6 figures with his bonus. I don't think her truck cost 50,000 either. It's nice but it looks more about 30,000. I looked up similar models.

This^^^^^^^

if he makes 78,000 (according

if he makes 78,000 (according to the CS payment amount)... after taxes, deductions, and CS, that's really not that much take home pay for rent/bills etc.... dunno about you, but as a single parent with 3 kids, I'd have to be stretching that 46-50K leftover pretty thin to make ends meet in my lifestyle...

1800 every 2 weeks is not very much when you actually consider everything that has to be paid with it. I know for me, 1800 is gone in 2 weeks, easy.

OMG that is HORRIBLE!!! Your

OMG that is HORRIBLE!!! Your DH's Stepdad has some serious issues! As long as your DH works for him, he will continue to interfere.
What does DH's BM say about this. Doesn't she defend your DH at all?

There is no way I would live my life kissing the ass of anyone who treated me like that. No amount of money is worth that hell.

Not only does your DH need to

Not only does your DH need to find a new job ASAP, he needs to SERIOUSLY question his stepfather's place in his life.

I would find a new job and no longer have anything to do with that interfering arsehole.

Bonuses aren't guaranteed nor

Bonuses aren't guaranteed nor are the amounts. There is nothing he can do and he wouldn't do anything anyway since that is his dad.

So OP...You are telling us

So OP...You are telling us that your DH's Stepdad just handed a $50,000 check to BM?

I don't know what happened

I don't know what happened but i don't think he would hand her a check. I think he took her shopping and bought it but i have no proof and it's all what I believe would happen. He could have just showed up and gave it to her, she could of asked him to go with her and negotiate a deal. I don't know how it played out.

Dh makes a good salary but

Dh makes a good salary but the bonus is what makes it great. We bank it and use it through out the year as needed. This is a big blow to our finances.

That's my first thought how

That's my first thought how can that be legal. If it's a legit job that is NOT legal unless OP's DH is in the arrears for CS. Something does not make sense

I don't think it will be on

I don't think it will be on his W-2. I think his dad gave bm the money and then called it dhs bonus to make him pay!! I wonder if a $50,000 a yr pay cut would warrant a change in child support? It's a bonus so it isn't guaranteed. His child support includes that bonus income though.

Nothing is off the books. He

Nothing is off the books. He has a company car but so do others. That is a perk.

My DH gets bonuses as well

My DH gets bonuses as well but they are only like $2,500 and they aren't included in his salary. I cannot fathom how BM is collecting CS which is not taxable and then getting $50,000. I am curious to know now as well how much OP's DH is paying in CS a month?

Your DH needs to find out

Your DH needs to find out immediately, if 1) this is considered income to him and in that case is taxable (who is paying the taxes?). and 2) if he can get CS adjusted for having a large decrease in income if it is not income to him.

I also agree DH needs to get out from under Step dad. I think the chances are slim and none that DH gets ownership of that business.

$1300 a month

Me either! Bm cries poor when

Me either! Bm cries poor when dh gives her $1300 a month. She could afford the t-shirt!

LOL - your dh should tell his

LOL - your dh should tell his dad that thanks to him, he can lower his child support payments because his salary was just reduced by 50k.... hahahah

I say again, your DH needs to

I say again, your DH needs to find a new job.

PRONTO. There is NO guarantee his stepfather will turn the company over to him. But as long as your DH works for his stepfather, he is allowing SF to control his life.

Dh won't leave. I know he

Dh won't leave. I know he won't. I can't believe bm would stoop so low as to do this. I'm looking at recalculating child support. If it lowers it I am going to have him file.

I think its more of the

I think its more of the stepdad than BM because he feels that your DH is not taking care of his kid. $1300 is a lot for one kid too.

If your DH won't leave, he

If your DH won't leave, he can expect this to be his life from here on out. Stepfather will continue to insert himself AND use DH's money as he sees fits. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if good ol' SF starts garnishing a portion of DH's salary to send to BM, seeing as SF believes your DH is not caring for the boy in the manner SF expects.

I don't see this situation changing. Your DH will not look for another job. SF will continue to interfere. Your option is to disengage from skid AND DH's SF and be concerned only with things YOU can control.

Interesting considering this

Interesting considering this happened less than 2 months ago..

https://www.steptalk.org/node/237553

That's the truck I am talking

That's the truck I am talking about! Dh's dad bought it for her and then kept dhs bonus to pay himself back or something like that.

LOL sounds like do you

}:) LOL sounds like do you remember that one time at band camp!!

I think it's time for you to

I think it's time for you to rethink your place in this f*cked up family dynamic.

If I were you, I would be G-O-N-E!

So... whose paying taxes on

So... whose paying taxes on this "bonus"?

Or did SF just buy a truck for BM (Out of his personal funds or business funds?) and tell DH that instead of giving him a bonus this year, SF decided to buy BM a truck?

Must be a Gwyneth Paltrow

Must be a Gwyneth Paltrow t-shirt...

That is not even funny!

I'm curious as to what your

I'm curious as to what your DH's MOTHER is thinking about all of this. Is she happy that her husband is putting HER child in a financial bind?

I told dh to call his mom and

I told dh to call his mom and talk to her but he won't. I have no idea what she is thinking. I also told dh that he needs to ask his dad how much the truck cost because if it was 30,000 then where is the other 20,000? 20,000 is better than nothing. I told dh we need to do a down ward modification of child support but he said no it would go up since it hasn't changed since their divorce.

Your DH seems to be coping

Your DH seems to be coping with this very calmly. Maybe he knows much more than he's telling you.

This is an interesting

This is an interesting perspective. I think a lot of young people have thoughts about "when I inherit X,Y or Z".... Like my YSD who was looking around and making remodeling plans on the house that my husband is going to inherit (supposedly) after his parents pass away. It was his great grandparents home.. not where his parents live.. where we stay when we visit them. I explained that she shouldn't count her chickens before they hatch..lol.

I mean, when I was younger.. maybe in my 20's... I knew my parents were fairly well off with investments and knew it would be split between my brother and I. I don't think I really thought through that I might not actually SEE any of that money until I was much, much older. You know, thinking my parents would pass on in their 70's or whatever. Not wishing it mind you.. just figured that's what would happen.

So.. now I am in my 50's and my dad is going to be 88 and fit as a fiddle and could quite possibly survive well another 10 years or more.... So, at this point, it might not be until I am in my 60's before I would see any inheritance... not exactly as I thought it would be right?

So, timing wise, this guy could slave his whole career under SF, but SS could come up in the end and be the one who gets the business!

Yep! Also, no guarantee the

Yep! Also, no guarantee the business will not be sold to pay for SF's retirement too.

Unless your husband has some contract or succession plan. (like when SF gets to be 65 he leaves the business... etc).. I would be worried,

Fruity, that's what I said.

I worked with a gal who bought a new house based on her OT earnings. Guess what? OT did not last forever and, when it ended, she could no longer afford her house payments.

SMH at people who DEPEND on No Guarantee EXTRA.

Exactly that, Fruity.

Babybugged, I need some

Babybugged, I need some playtime!

SSSSSHhhhhh...of course it's

SSSSSHhhhhh...of course it's real.

It isn't. There are always

It isn't. There are always few stories on here that aren't true

$1,300 CS would be roughly

$1,300 CS would be roughly 20% a month of a $78,000 income before tax allowances. If, as you say, it's the bonus that kicks Dh's salary into the six figures, $50,000 would bring you to $128,000. Doesn't look as if, the CS incomes calculation of including any bonus.

It's a rare company that is going to pay 65% of salary for a bonus unless it's commission/profit share off his sales.

If the bonus is not guaranteed and amount varies year to year, how does your DH know his "bonus" was $50,000? Well, was going to be $50,000before PawPaw gave it away to BM. This makes no sense. PawPaw has to account for $50,000, but you say truck likely was only $30,000ish (so not the be-all you previously made it sound, $30,000 for a truck is pretty low and not all "the whistles"). If he purchased the truck as business expense and a company truck , just let's BM drive it, books will click 'ok' for that $30,000, but it doesn't account for the remaining supposed $20,000.

So, what's next besides venting online on a stepparent site?

This actually depends if this

This actually depends if this is a before deduction state or after deduction state. The state DH's CO is in takes overnights, mortgage (or rent), health insurance, subsequent children, taxes into account. It's based on net income, not gross.

I think it's kind of wrong to

I think it's kind of wrong to live in hopes to inherit something.

100!!!! Woohoo!!!

You should see the car my DH

You should see the car my DH bought me.

BUT,
I am still blow away that Goblins DH bought his xwife a 50k car.

HAHAAHAHHHAH

Well come to think about it, with all the CS my dh gave her she could have bought several cars.

Lets say this is a real honest to goodness post and I wrote it. I would have said my lawyer told ME to dig my heals in because DH lawyer should bring AND daddy poo's wheelbarrow to court, they will need it.

Like like like!!!

Hell to the NO! I would be

:jawdrop: Hell to the NO! I would be absolutely livid .

Your DH needs to file to have CS reduced asap !

He also needs to have a nice chat with his SF and tell him that under no circumstances did he agree to his bonus going to BM. $50,000 is a TON of money ! He also needs to find out just how SF is expensing this huge lump of money and that he had better not think of adding it to your DHs earnings / W2. You can't just write off / expense 50k without a valid business reason ( hello IRS red flag ). Did SF take it as his own bonus and pay taxes on it ? Is he going to 1099 BM ?

What a load of crap. I bet your DH was counting in his bonus for expenses in his own household. What a betrayal ...I bet there will be some family issues from now on.

Okay, I played along before,

Okay, I played along before, but this is total BS. Grand daddy didn't build a huge business by being stupid. No matter how pissed off he is at his son, he wouldn't risk losing everything and possible jail time by STEALING from him. It doesn't matter that he is a family member that works for him, he doesn't get to dictate how his money gets spent.

You think he wouldn't find

You think he wouldn't find another job. Have you told DH to look for another job. When my DH was tired of his boss taking liberties and treating him like crap--I urged him to apply for other jobs and he did. He got an interview and is waiting on the second round.

Money and the possibility of inheritance is not worth it for me to be manipulated and treated like this. Where is your husband's DIGNITY?

So is DH still going to have

So is DH still going to have to pay taxes on this *bonus*?! Frickin ridiculous.

wine, you are sadly wrong. My

wine, you are sadly wrong. My husband has hopped to his mothers drum beat purely because he doesn't want to be cut off. I am guessing OP's husband is the same.

I did not read all the

I did not read all the comments...

Now does DH have a signed employment contract, does it stipulate bonus? If yes DH can go to labor court and sue SF for not paying him a bonus. If he does not have a contract I suggest he gets one immediately stipulating everything, with this SF can never do this again.

For now - I would simply call IRS and blow the whistle on BM for making an additional 50k and not declaring it }:) }:)

EDIT TO ADD - get proof BM received it and file for lower CS - BM is earning a hell of allot of money

That's true, but that doesn't

That's true, but that doesn't mean there are no tax consequences.

A gift from an employer is not usually considered a gift by the taxman.

A gift to someone receiving any public assistance is usually clawed-back and would affect future eligibility. (Such as people receiving welfare who fail to declare bringing home leftovers from a family Thanksgiving dinner.)

There are limits to how much can be 'given' in any tax year before the taxman sits up and pays attention.

I agree it's ridiculous. But

I agree it's ridiculous. But true. I'll try to find an online source, but it was included in the curriculum of a class I took at university as an example of systemic discrimination against the poor in Canada.

Maybe the ex doesn't do any work for SF, but maybe SF puts her on the payroll so that he can give her money. It's certainly possible and there's way for the OP, nor you nor I to know whether that's the case.

shoot... now I want to move

shoot... now I want to move to US again...

with us it's fully taxable

EDIT - wow I've done some reading and only the first 14K is tax free, not the rest, but it's very confusing and well this transaction between SF and BM might not even be seen as a gift..... I think it's worth investigating this or reporting it to IRS, either BM or SF will be paying some gift tax

yes I did gather that and

yes I did gather that and that's why I said it's very confusing.....

loads of documents, charities, donator, donatee, estates etc.... very complicated.

We have different rules, gift from a 3rd party fully taxable, estates - regardless of amount not taxable at all etc.
but it is interesting to see the different laws

I think the rich FIL piece

I think the rich FIL piece this story line is FAKE.

The SM with two perfect bio daughters and 1 not so perfect stepdaughter and the new husband who LLLOOOOOVVVVEEESSS his perfect stepdaughters are all true.

Now that school is out, I think that not so perfect SD will be spending much more time at her father's house. Goblin nunya is adding all of these extra layers to the story and changing the gender/age oof the not so perfect SK so that her future post don't get the same reaction her bookfair and lunch bags for homeless posts got before.

She's gearing up to make Miss Not So Perfect time at her dad's this summer miserable. When the kid pushes back, she will come here and complain about how awful she is.

I remember someone telling her a bit ago that sooner or later someone would stop and listen (and finally believe) what the SD started telling then how SM treated her. It looks like the FIL is doing just that.

Disney, OP has a SS in scouts

Disney, OP has a SS in scouts and 2 daughters. OP seldom talks about her daughters other than they don't have double activities like SS. What is the same as nunya is the lack of biological father. I can see where you are going though.

I think she changed the

I think she changed the gender and age of the SK and made the FIL, rich. Other than that, the story lines are the same.

My guess as well.... F is

My guess as well.... F is keeping DH there with empty promises of him taking over one day

it's not going to happen and then DH will be to old to find a new job

anotherstep Agreed, but you

anotherstep

Agreed, but you know it was a GIFT.

Attention to her blogs had

Attention to her blogs had dropped . Barely being acknowledged. Ridiculous farce about BM being given DH's bonus? Bingo. Attention back and focused on poor little Goblin and her escalating Scout Saga.

Personally I would turn BM's

Personally I would turn BM's fanny into the IRS. You can only gift a person a certain amount of money before you owe taxes on that money.
I believe it is under $15000. Well according to the OP, the BM got $50,000.00. I would most certainly turn her into the IRS and make sure she paid taxes.

giving a gift over 14k to

giving a gift over 14k to someone OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE - you file form 709

future interests are not subject to 14k exclusion

Spouses may not file a joint gift tax return. Each individual is responsible for his or her own Form 709.

You must file a gift tax return to split gifts with your spouse (regardless of their amount) as described in Part 1—General Information.

If a gift is of community property, it is considered made one-half by each spouse. For example, a gift of $100,000 of community property is considered a gift of $50,000 made by each spouse, and each spouse must file a gift tax return.

Likewise, each spouse must file a gift tax return if they have made a gift of property held by them as joint tenants or tenants by the entirety.

Only individuals are required to file gift tax returns. If a trust, estate, partnership, or corporation makes a gift, the individual
beneficiaries, partners, or stockholders are considered donors and may be liable for the gift and GST taxes.

The donor is responsible for paying the gift tax. However, if the donor does not pay the tax, the person receiving the gift may have to pay the tax.

If you meet all of the following requirements, you are not required to file Form 709:
You made no gifts during the year to your spouse.
You did not give more than $14,000 to any one donee.
All the gifts you made were of present interests

ETA: copied from https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i709.pdf

You are here

Dh paid for bms new truck! I am infuriated!!

Comments