simply explain to the kids, this is how your mother operates, our house is differently....

and well you can't tell BM what to do and when and where to have sex with, not you or DH has any say in how she lives,
simply focus on explaining to the kids and get them to a point where they do not care who's the flat mate and who not,

I would really simply tell them BM helps out people with accommodation till they can afford their own }:) }:)

I knew someone who had morality cause in CO that no one can spend the night unless they are married. She can date but they cannot sleep over.

I have met several women who went from man to man constantly one after another. One was also moving herself and her child into their houses. Her DD had lots of discipline issues. This woman even got engaged once but none of it lasted. I don't know why some women can't just date until they find the right one. I'd never dream introducing someone I just met to my DD let alone move him in

You should delete the spam with link post above.

"I asked what he thought about seeing if the lawyer could put in some sort of morality clause. As much as we both hate the idea it might help. Not something too hard but like "must have dated atleast 6 months before introducing to the kids" maybe "1 year before moving in." Sure it would be hard to enforce in some ways but something needs to be done."

This surprises me in that very shortly ago, your BF was just meeting and pretty quickly moving in with you. It was but a blink of an eye, you, yourself entered these children's lives. No one wants their kids exposed to boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend and it was just a week or so ago your mind was wrapped around the idea this now gone BF was some child abusing molester.

Your BF isn't going to get to control who and what with his hopefully soon to be ex does. Just because your BF found you and it seems to be clicking for you two, his story could have just as well been BM's current story. Fortunately you are more stable and you are trying to help your BF establish a more appropriate home and lifestyle than what's happening in BM's world. But all these sudden new people and living arrangements have aided in bringing uncertainly and stress into these children's lives , including your BF's choices.

Your BF isn't going to get to tell BM how to run her life and home. If he wants more control he is going to have to seek more custody time with the kids. But even that isn't going to totally eliminate different males crossing BM's doorway when she has her visitations. Yes, some parenting plans have morality clauses in them. But they go both ways. No living with BF/GF and no overnights until married and such. But you can't ordered her to do something he is doing himself. Unless he's willing to move out of your apartment now until he is divorced and could marry you, your morality clause goes right off the list of 'rules'.

Your BF should also keep in mind, that even though you say you're there for the long haul, anything could happen. Extreme example, you could be killed in an accident this afternoon or fall down the stairs at your apartment and be laid up in the hospital for months and months. How would that tragic scenario affect your Bf's ability to keep the current stable home he's now giving his kids? He doesn't want something put in the parenting plan that he, himself, perhaps not be able to toe the line to.

Obviously, BM is having troubles affording a self home for her and her children. Has she tried your state's social services that assist single mothers with housing? She may be able to get a small subsidized housing unit (and yes, some of those come with their own set of 'rules' of who may live and/or how long visitors can stay).

Maybe he should simply tell BM that having their own family broken up is bad enough - but to have shoved them in pretend new families 3 times since that time, is like breaking up their "hopes and dreams" about "family" over and over.

Or simply, tell her that most kids have a hard time when they're forced to follow their whore mother around from one man's apartment to another...

I have lost count of the number of men that BM has had living with her and the skids. She's only been separated from stepdad for two months (maybe less) and already has "Heath" living with her. Roommate or new boytoy???

DH says at least she is a survivor. I say she is destroying her kids.

Be glad it's only 3 men in a year's time. BioHo, in the space of 2 years, had TWENTY-TWO MEN move in/out.

As for a morality clause... will that stop BM from getting busy with men? In BioHo's case, she'd have men over for noisy sex and then they'd leave. So "spending the night" can mean absolutely NOTHING in regards to the morality clause.