SS the thief

Last week I went to bed around 9pm and told DH and kids good night.

20ish minutes later I get back up to get a drink of water and because I see a random light on in the kitchen that shouldn't be. (Both kids should have been getting ready for bed and DH was in his room)

I find SS stealing food (junk food) from us again. This is the third time that we have outright caught him.

SS and SD got back to BM's house on Friday and DH and I start painting SS's room. SS knows that we were going to paint because I made him box up most of his stuff. I didn't want to paint it to begin with because he's a brat and I certainly wasn't to move every book, toy and trash out for him.

I tape part of the room and DH starts painting. While he's painting, I moved SS's bed to center of the room to get it out of the way. He had so many food wrappers under his bed that they were sticking to my feet while I was trying to clean up. I moved his dresser, same thing. Then I start searching. I find more in his closet along with multiple empty water bottles (kids are only allowed to eat and drink at the dining room table in our house). I opened one of his packed boxes. Right on top is a Crown Royal bag FILLED with food wrappers.

Both DH and I were pissed and I lost interest in painting for the rest of the weekend.

>>I just want to add here that if SS was hungry, all he has to do is ask. He can have some fruit, a sandwich, some leftover dinner or cut veges. He has no problem begging DH for video games, TV and anything else, but won't speak up that he's feeling hungry??? Not buying it. He's and entitled spoiled brat. He wanted junk food, he knows we have a limit on it, so he decided to steal from us.

Last night, I decide I need to finish his room. DH completed everything except round the ceiling and some around the base boards.

DH seeing me going in SS's room and told me not to do it. He says SS doesn't deserve me working on it. Says the kid is an asshole. We talk a little about SS. I said he knew we were painting this weekend and didn't even try to hide the wrappers. Unless he's too stupid to know we would have to move the furniture. SS has a history of stealing food from teachers throughout the years and bully other students of food during lunches. I told DH that a stupid thief only gets one thing, Jail time.

We started talking about how SS has no one in his life that enjoys spending time with him because he behaves so badly. DH said he thinks the only reason that SS clings to him is because he's trying to get something from him all the time. I agreed. He says he's not sure if SS really loves anyone. As soon as he feels his manipulation isn't working he moves on.

DH actually admitted that being a Disney Dad to SS all these years hasn't done anything positive for the kid.

It was a good conversation but I absolutely don't think that DH is going to stop his Disney Dad shit. Nope.

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My SS used to do the same

My SS used to do the same thing. I moved his bed one day when the boys were gone because we were rearranging their room. It was a horrible mess. I stopped buying any "easy" groceries. If you could simply grab it and eat it I stopped buying it. There were so many wrappers in his room that it nearly filled a 13 gallon trash bag.

Poptarts, string cheese, any kind of snack cakes/crackers, yogurt and pudding containers, etc. I even found 2 empty hot dog packages and an empty jar of peanut butter. He was only 7-8 at the time.

I threw out an entire trash

I threw out an entire trash bag too, but I started just tossing shit. Lose Pokémon cards, trash. Lego's under bed, trash. Old drawing, trash.

Damn I wish my DH would

Damn I wish my DH would realize who YSS is. I am the bad guy because I tell my DH the truth about his kid and he just says that I don't like his kid or I am attacking him when in reality I am trying to help him by telling him that the kid needs discipline or he is heading right where your SS is heading JAIL!!

LOL, but the time BM drops

LOL, but the time BM drops them back off to us on Friday, DH will have completely forgotten about his epiphany. His rose colored glasses are surgically implanted on his face. }:)

LMAO Are our DH's related?

LMAO Are our DH's related? }:)

If stealing junk food was

If stealing junk food was SS's only indiscretion, I would agree. but the fighting, throwing chairs at teachers, threatening to stab the bus driver and many many other things, has me convinced this kid is headed for a very difficult adult like. Jail probably is in his future.

Ninji, I bet he was just

Ninji, I bet he was just joking when he threatened the bus driver. Throwing a chair was him expressing himself and he would never mean to hurt anyone. His aim must have been off. Why quite frankly I think he's misunderstood and if you all just changed how you treat him, life would be super duper wonderfully perfect.

LOL, I'm sure your right.

Like when he had a knife to his own throat because BM grounded him from TV. He isn't manipulative, he's just misunderstood.

LOL yeah my DH says that we

LOL yeah my DH says that we should let the skids be themselves no matter what. So in other words let's let SS run all over us and do whatever he wants with no consequences. My YSS bit OSS like a rapid dog about a month ago you should have seen the bite mark on his arm. And about a week ago he threw my dog.

Is this kid an aspie??

I think he is but he was

I think he is but he was diagnosed with ADHD but I think he has Asperger's as well. My OSS was diagnosed with Asperger's but YSS shows signs of it as well.

I have a 14 year old aspie.

I have a 14 year old aspie. If that is the case you will have to treat this differently from a normal kid, I am afraid.

My son did.lots of threatening harm because it was his only was to express his upset. He once told me to lift the trampoline so he could put his neck under the legs. I could go on for days. I did not handle my kid like someone would suggest. I laughed a lot and told him he was being ridiculous. It was the only way I could coax him out of it. In every picture from age 3-8 he had big rivulets down his forehead from clawing his own forehead. Once, when he was about ten and having a ridiculous tantrum and I put him in my car. He asked where we were going and I told him he was acting g crazy and they would put him in a 72 hour hold and explained in great detail what the would do. He never had a tantrum like that again. Also, what worked best for him was addressing the problem in short bursts when things were calm. And listening. Biggest thing in the world to him is being heard.

My son kept food. Hid it. He had an unnatural fear that he wouldn't get his share. I let him hide a certain amount and that helped. He needed control. We moved and I found Hoho's he had hidden on top of the cabinet that were years old.

This is. Of going to resolve itself, I am afraid.

He clawed his own forehead

He clawed his own forehead wow! My skids are 10 and 12. The 12 year old was diagnosed with Asperger's but he just lacks empathy. He doesn't really do anything but, cling to BM and do her dirty work for her. We caught him taking pictures of our house and trying to look through my stuff to find stuff for BM. So we told him that all electronics would be taken away if he got caught doing anything like that again. OSS is so much better behaved than YSS. The YSS is destructive, and doesn't know how to control himself when he get bored and I assume that is from the ADHD but I also believe that he has Asperger's as well. He lacks empathy towards people and animals and just has a lot of issues. BM has him in speech therapy and occupational therapy which really makes no difference I think but, I honestly think BM did drugs when she was pregnant with both of these kids. She was a stripper after all.

My son says he feels empathy

My son says he feels empathy but has a hard time expressing it. He also feels guilt but also, just stands there looking like he doesn't care. When asked he explains and it makes sense. It is hard when they just stand there looking blAnk when the house burns down!!

He has had to learn to actively show the empathy and he gets better all the time.

If he wasn't my own child I don't know how I would definitely with it, quite honestly.

Ninji... what did you learn

Ninji...

what did you learn from this experience..... hopefully - not buying anymore junk food lol...
nothing Nada Zilch... and DH should be on this page as well...

when SS complains about it, smile and say.. no little piggy we are not buying anything cause you steal it and hide wrappers in your room, yes we found it and the rules are very clear... no eating and drinking in the rooms, guess who did not follow the rule... yes the one who's got no internet while visiting here...

Yup, I don't even eat the

Yup, I don't even eat the crap. I buy it for DH and the skids. No more. They can have fruit or veges for a snack.

Also, SS is not allowed in my kitchen anymore alone. If he wants so much as a drink of water, he has to be escorted. I'm also getting a camera when DH gets back to work.

How old is the kid?

SS is 11 and SD is 13

Has he be diagnosed for

Has he be diagnosed for anything maybe he has Asperger's.

Not yet. Teachers at the new

Not yet. Teachers at the new school keep asking us to get him diagnosed but we can't afford health care until CS gets changed. It's been filed with the court, so fingers crossed it gets changed before school starts again.

Oh ok well I am sure that he

Oh ok well I am sure that he most likely has some issues.

If you are in the us it is

If you are in the us it is the schools responcibility to test, not yours. If you present them with a concern and its clearly impacting him at school the district is responsible... they have like 30 days from requedt to answer then another 30 for testing i think with everything being completed within 90.

I just have went through the process with the school district here. Check the schools special needs program.

I swear I would be locking

I swear I would be locking everything up lol....

Aergia hates me with passion, I have a huge double glass door fridge... in there I store my beer and wine and well if I made cake or desert... and it was always locked... }:) }:) }:)

My co-worker suggested

My co-worker suggested putting a lock on the frig. He's daughter came to live with him last year. She's in high school and weighted 350lbs. He had to lock everything up. She couldn't stop herself from eating.

Not being rude but how much

Not being rude but how much junk food do you have in the house that you don't notice that much is missing?

My SD13 eats like that. She will eat a normal size dinner and then want to mindlessly snack for hours. I have a container that has cereal bars, gushers, fruit snacks, and other chocolate junk food for my son because he eats normal amounts and it will last for weeks. We have started hiding it when SD13 comes over.

I did notice that some was

I did notice that some was missing, and confronted SS about it a month or so ago. He admitted that he was eating junk as a snack after school instead of fruit (that is our rule). Also, DH eats ALOT. He has a very physically demanding job and can eat a lot.

DH said he is going to be "tossing" SS's room randomly from now on because he can't be trusted. I don't see him actually doing it but I'm done buying junk.

That is what I do as well I

That is what I do as well I leave cokes, chips cookies that I don't want my skids to eat in my bedroom if they dare come in there and take it then they know that there will be consequences.

I hide my purse in my

I hide my purse in my cupboard. Never though I would come to this point in my life. We no longer leave credit cards or money anywhere but in our cupboards

I so want one off those blue

I so want one off those blue ink bombs the banks use in movies..... I want it on my hand bag...

lift the lid and boom you are blue...now that would be so much fun...

I have been fighting the same

I have been fighting the same battle for years. Constantly finding wrappers and crumbs under SD15's new mattress, stuffed in the dresser, air vents, closet, everywhere except the trash can. I don't like her stealing snacks, but it's worse to leave the trash. I told DH if we end up with bugs in our home all hell will break loose.

At one point, I told SD15 since she uses her bed as a trash can she doesn't get the privilege of having all the extra pillows and stuffed animals to sleep with (this was several years ago when she insisted she couldn't sleep without them). I took them all except one pillow and blanket. It worked for like a day and then she started stuffing the wrappers in her pillowcase.

It has now escalated to her sneaking into my home office and stealing from my secret candy stash and stealing sodas from DH's garage fridge (he is the only one in the house that drinks soda). She has also started stealing little trinkets from other people's homes. She stole from my parents while we visited them on vacation. It's always stuff that's only worth a few dollars so no one makes a big deal about it, except me. I swear I'm the only person who sees it as a problem.

Whinona SD18, ever since I

Whinona SD18, ever since I can remember, the past 3 years, would eat in her bedroom (no one else eats in their rooms, we all eat in the kitchen), and every now and then SO will look at her room, or she would bounce over to her mothers, and he would clean out empty water bottles, wrappers, from all over - large trash bags full of trash. And then she leaves her things all over the bed and floor. Her room has ALWAYS been disgusting. Forget about when she has her period.

It gets worse, never better. To me it is a sign of her illness and a distinct lack of discipline, and consistency. SO enjoys buying sweets and will buy cereal 9ak sugar boxes) and ice creams. All three of them ALWAYS have their ice cream after dinner. I buy fruits and veggies, and make salads. He just is not like that. He eats a ton, and has a physically demanding job. Munchkin is chunky/husky, and Whinona has been gaining weight, esp her butt, since turning 17. SO has a belly. He is really just starting to notice that the kids are not eating healthy.

But the wrapper thing, and stealing junkfood. That will only get worse...

Military school! He will be

Military school! He will be lean and very disciplined when he comes home for Christmas break. My SS lost 40lbs in 8wks during the beginning of his RAT year. He went from a C student to straight As, became a leader, and an athlete.

It may be worth looking into for this kid. The young Old Cadet leaders wont tolerate his messy habits or hording food in his room.

It may very well come to

It may very well come to that. I'm placing bets that he gets kicked out of the local school within the next few years.

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