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SD15 trying to crash my DD's birthday party

Silent14's picture

Submitted by Silent14 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:22pm

My DD invited a few friends over for this coming weekend for pizza and swimming to celebrate her birthday. The intention was it would be just for her and her friends (no sisters or step sisters). I scheduled it on our skid free weekend and made plans for my younger DD to go to a friends house. Living in a house with 4 girls, time without sisters almost never happens. So it's kinda a special event.

SD15 caught wind of the plans and last night she informed DH she would be staying until Monday instead of leaving today per the usual schedule. It makes me crazy when the kids dictate the schedule, but that's a conversation for another day. She claimed that she needs to spend extra time with daddy. Of course, DH is a sucker and just ate it up. He never put 2 and 2 together that her reasoning was the party.

So I asked DH to take SD15 out for dinner tomorrow night and hopefully to a movie too. SD can't possibly complain since she claimed to want more time with daddy. DH won't want to be home with a house full of teenage girls anyway. And plans for a sister free party are still on track. I'm considering this a win in my stepmom life. Normally I would be frustrated with a last minute change and things not going as planned. I'm becoming more adaptable! Yay me!!

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:28pm

Ugh. How annoying! Is there any way you can tell DH that he and SD NEED to be out of the house for X amount of time?

Silent14's picture

Submitted by Silent14 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:52pm

I asked DH nicely about taking SD out for the evening, but in a way that he realized it's not really negotiable. He agreed. I fully expect them to be out of the house at least for the majority of the time.

SM12's picture

Submitted by SM12 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:41pm

So if your SD says NO to dinner and a Movie with your DH, what will you do then? If your SD is trying to horn in on your daughters party, then she may refuse to go with daddio for their bonding time. I would have told her "sorry kid, no can do, you gots to go home to BM"

Silent14's picture

Submitted by Silent14 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:47pm

I wouldn't feel right telling her she has to go home (although I would love to), but I have no problem letting DH know dinner is not optional. I'm pretty confident that DH won't give her a choice. And it would be hard for her to argue to stay when she used spending time with DH as the excuse. I'm also pretty confiedent she'll have a terrible attitude when she realizes they won't be here for the party. But that's not my problem to deal with.

Silent14's picture

Submitted by Silent14 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:53pm

With no wifi??? That would definitely cause me to be the evil stepmother... I like it! HAHA!

Silent14's picture

Submitted by Silent14 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 2:10pm

DD will be 14. I'm not sure what SD15 is thinking. They go to separate schools and don't have mutual friends. SD15 only knows one of the girls that will be attending.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 1:59pm

I cannot wait to hear what SD's reaction is when she finds out she has an evening with Daddy, instead of being part of the party.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 2:48pm

Me, three. }:)

Hennypenny's picture

Submitted by Hennypenny on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 6:49pm

I'm putting a hundred down on "she changes her mind and leaves per normal schedule." Any takers?

Silent14's picture

Submitted by Silent14 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 9:03pm

Way to burst my happy stepmom victory bubble. Lol!

I asked DH to take her out to dinner. He agreed. He knows the reason I asked is because I want her out of the house. I trust him to follow though on that. Perhaps I'm missing the point, but I can't see what is being left to chance here. I have also found that asking for favors tends to get better responses than demanding. No fear is involved here, just respect for my partner. I do expect and receive the same courtesy from him in return.

Of course I realize her wanting to be there is a normal kid reaction. My younger dd wanted to be there too. But not every event is intended for all siblings. Each child needs a chance to spend a little time alone with their friends.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Fri, 07/14/2017 - 9:12pm

Siblings are often excluded from birthday parties even in intact homes. Nobody wants the bratty little brother to be around.

It's okay to tell a sibling (step or bio) to just go away and stop bothering the party participants.

My BFF from high school had a sister a year younger. They are very close and have a great relationship. But they did not share parties, etc. growing up.