She says to back off because im getting in the way of her getting to know her kids
My fiancé has 2 girls ages 2 and 3. she doesn't tell them no hardly at all and they act like spoiled brats and it pisses me off. they are completely different when they are just with me but the second their mom comes in they put on an act just to get their way on everything. they play her like a fiddle and they know they cant do that with me so they go to there mom whenever they want something cause they know she wont say no. I always feel like the jerk cause I'm the only one who will tell the girls no quite often because I'm trying to teach them not to act like a spoiled brat. Please help!
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Back completely OFF as in
Back completely OFF as in call this wedding and relationship off.
JMO of course.
NO things will not get better under the current circumstances and counseling will help IF the counselor is honest with you and tells you to think twice about this.
no just back off and let off
no just back off and let off the peddle which I can do as long as her and the bf step it up.
Back off! Those babies are 2
Back off!
Those babies are 2 and 3. If their mother wants to spoil them a bit, that's her business.
Of course you are free to let her know that she is on her own in regards to parenting them.
i get it. i provide for them
i get it. i provide for them as much and more than she does and 100% more than the bf. i don't want to see them raised as spoiled girls that always get their way. that's not the way the world works.
Just because she is doing
Just because she is doing that now, doesn't mean it will always be that way.
Spoiling and babying kidd that age is fine. As long as she had AGE APPROPRIATE expectations as they grow.
These are not your kids, so you should not be the one providing for them.
Couldn't disagree more.
Couldn't disagree more. People simply don't give children credit where credit is due. The average 2 to 3 year old can be a completely manipulative dictator if allowed by the parents. Children are extremely intelligent and can smell weakness even as toddlers.
Training them while they are toddlers is crucial. By the time they are four years old they are already quite mentally developed and their personalities are fully established.
That being said you cannot possibly care more for these children than the BIOS. Time to disengage and let them deal with the monsters they are creating
Wanting to love on and spoil
Wanting to love on and spoil your 2 and 3 year old does not mean you are a weak parent.
The bottom line is mom does not agree with the OP's parenting style. That is perfectly fine as long as she is willing to to parent her children 100%
i completely agree
i completely agree thinkthrice. so should i leave the fixing dinner for the kids and there lunch in the morning for the mother instead of me helping her do all that stuff?
You can help her... but if
You can help her... but if your help is unappreciated, don't do it.
In what way are you providing
In what way are you providing for them? Who was providing this before?
IF you want to continue your
IF you want to continue your relationship with your girlfriend. YOU must remember they are not your bio children...girlfriend takes care of all caring and correction of her kids. Not your purpose. It's her's and her x's.
Pull up YouTube SUPER NANNY videos and make her watch them.
Why are you disciplining her
Why are you disciplining her kids? Confused...
Her kids are 2 an 3 and
Her kids are 2 an 3 and you're engaged? Sounds like you jumped right into a serious relationship way too early. Do everyone a favor and go back to strictly dating. Forget living together or an engagement. And quit disciplining her children. That's not your place.
ill quit disciplining but
ill quit disciplining but going back to dating and not living together isn't going to happen.
Really? Then I guess it's not
Really? Then I guess it's not intolerable for you. Why are you complaining? Just hush up and deal with the status quo.
People don't change without an incentive or consequence. Unless you're willing to walk away, your fiance will keep doing the same ol' ish.
Thier kids.....just let the
Thier kids.....just let the parents be. Not worth the hassle on your end. Trust me.
They are her kids to raise,
They are her kids to raise, either to be productive members of society or spoiled brats. The only say you get regarding parenting is whether you can tolerate it or not.
The other say, I suppose, is in how your money is spent. It isn't your job to support her and her kids. It's her job to support herself, and a split between her and the BF to support the kids. It's great that you want to help, bit if you're helping is enabling poor behavior, then stop enabling. Stop being an ATM. Stop being the nearly sole means of support. Not your job or your responsibility.
She has told you flat out what she expects your role to be in the life of her children. She wants you to funnel money to her but stay out of raising them or giving her advice on how to raise them. That is your role whether you like it or not. You either accept it and stay together, or you don't and end it. I'm sorry there isn't a better option.
You made the mistake of A LOT
You made the mistake of A LOT of step parents. You jump into a relationship and try to “fix” your partners kids. Just don’t do it. They are not your kids so you don’t have the parent goggles on and you see them much harsher than your wife ever will. You should be like the friendly uncle. Do you have kids?
You should support your partner but NOT take a starring role in raising her kids.
Let your SO do it all. You mentioned making them lunch. If you are making lunch for you and your partner, then yes…go ahead and make them lunch also. If you are not making lunch for anyone and they need lunch, then your SO makes it.
If they leave out toys and such, tell your partner they need to be picked up. She will either have her kids pick them up, or she will. Should not matter to you how she chooses to have the toys picked up. What are the kids doing that annoys you so bad?
They are still babies and
They are still babies and they are her babies so it's not surprising she reaced that way. They are also very young children who are having to adjust to living at two homes and leaving their mother for what are at their age quite long periods. Your bf should be the one bringing them up on his time not you. You really have to back off and just be support to your BF in a practical sense.