Help! I have been raising 2 teenage boys (15 and 17) 100% full time and am engaged to a wonderful man who has 2 children from 2 different marriages (daughter 16, son 11). I love his daughter but I think his son is horribly spoiled. Today (Christmas) my kids and I went over after lunch to exchange gifts. I had left one of his gifts at his dads and brought the other. He opened his and asked "Is that all?"... I said, "No, you had another one here but you obviously opened it already". He just folded his arms and was mad. My fiancee said nothing. Then when I was leaving he said thanks for the gift but I didn't appreciate the two empty bags. (I had place some empty bags inside the box so it wouldn't shake around, etc.). I explained that and he said, "well I thought there would be more" so I replied "Well next time I can get you nothing and you wont be disappointed." I mentioned this to his dad later and he said, "He's 11 and he likes opening gifts." REALLY???? My kids were taught from the time they were 3 or so to always be polite and say thank you NO MATTER WHAT. It didn't matter if they received socks or something they hated, they know to be polite. When I asked about the other gift I got him and asked why he didn't wait to open it when I was there since it was from me and he told me that his son was so excited he just tore through his gifts without looking. Maybe it's just me but that kind of behavior totally repulses me. I HATE when I see kids do that. At my house we usually have one person at a time open a gift so we can all see what they get and they slow down and enjoy it instead of tearing through it all. My question is.... Am I wrong? I truly feel like at 11 is plenty old enough to have been taught better manners and this totally ruined my evening. In fact I left early and have bailed out of plans tomorrow because I am rethinking everything. It is not just this one incident. His son has to be the center of attention, interrupts others when they are talking and goes on and on about things to the point he is exaggerating or lying about stuff. My fiancee just shrugs it off. Another huge pet peeve is that he will ask his dad for something and if his dad says no, he goes on and on begging, pleading, and whining until his dad gives in. I have tried talking to my fiance about this, telling him the reason he did this was because he always gave in. I have always told my kids they are "One time kids." I shouldn't have to tell them no more than once and if they continued to go on and on after I said no, they had consequences. The problem is his sons mother (who always gives in and lets him do whatever) and my fiance (who wants to be his buddy and usually gives in). Because this is his "baby" he treats him like one, acting like he is cute and his behavior is normal. My problem is he's 11 and he is not a baby. He also doesn't need his dad to be his buddy, he needs him to be a parent. His son is usually a nice enough kid (he is usually polite, but he is always spoiled, has to be the center of attention, and can't take no for an answer) I love my fiance very much; however, I don't know what to do. I hate giving up a great man over this, but at the same time I can't see how we can get married and combine families when our parenting styles are completely different. I will admit I have been too strict with my kids at times and wish I could go back and redo many things, but I think he is creating a spoiled brat. What should I do? Am I wrong to be questioning things and do you think his sons behavior is acceptable (am I just too strict)??? Should I break things off now, knowing they wont change?

Having second thoughts