Same reason my SD 8 has informed me how much "mommy and daddy loved each other" Took me like literally a week to get over that one... lol... But when I could think clearly, I'm fairly certain it's because she's trying to make sense of everything, her view of a family got shattered by our BM's cheating arse, she doesn't know all the details or understand. She's started to grasp it a bit, but I still hear far more about them being together than any woman would want. lol. However SD8 also never wants to go to BM and informs me on the daily she's staying with me no matter what...

So I think it may just legitimately be her trying to figure things out that she doesn't fully understand, I'm sure when she was younger she wasn't given any info, and that was fine, but as she developed she's getting more curiousity and it's probably just not sitting well with her anymore.

As far as for why to you, I know SD8 and SD4 tell me far more than they tell anyone else, I hear all about the mean things, I was the first one they told about being forced to share a twin bed in the room with BM and her bf. It's because they trust me, and BM has only so far threatened them should they tell daddy what she's done, so they feel the most comfortable and safe telling me, because I tell who I need to to get stuff done, without ratting them out, such as the innocent driveby her SM did to investigate the twin bed thing... Doesn't go back to the Skids, but does get them into different situations.

This isn't going to help but kids are just rude now. I mean really we have this culture where kids now respect their peers WAY more than their parents. Last summer SO's 7 year old came back with something from camp that was flat out mean.... I talked to her about it and she just didn't really realize how hurtful it could be.

This means they pick up things from each other. No 12 year old understands tact as it is... then add to it all around them is this basic image of disrespect being ok.. it's going to slip in.

On top of that she's hitting a painful age. It's hard because there may be moment's where she is bitter about her parents not being together and sadly you will be the target... Then moments later she may be upset she hurt you but have no idea how to go about fixing it.

I'm not saying that means it's ok but you have to figure out how to go about it. If you can without fighting flat out let her know "hey that wasn't called for. What's bothering you?"

Let her know she can talk to you about ANYTHING but that there's a right way to do it. I hope that I can follow this same advice when we get to that point with the kids. SO's oldest comes to me all the time with questions that I know she doesn't know how to ask her dad.... I was the first one to find out that "we're gonna have a step dad soon." (didn't go through sadly) I'm the one who get's told all the bad stuff mommy says. I'm the one who get's asked about the legal questions. I'm glad that she trust me and I do my best to answer.

The kids also know that my parents are divorced and it's an open topic for me. I do my best to stick to facts and not take things personal.

Sometimes the youngest will say stuff about "mommy did this" or "we use to do that". My answer is "that's nice dear. Now do you want to play with the blocks or color?"

It is normal and age appropriate for a twelve year old to talk about and have questions about her family and parents, particularly if she is receiving conflicting or confusing information from different sources. All you need to do if she brings up information that has been shared with her inappropriately is to say that adult relationships are complex, the breakup was not her fault in any way and both her parents love her (or something equally emotionally supportive of her that is appropriate to her specific situation without actually discussing adult issues with the twelve year old.)

hehehehe why is this always happening at age 12.... does it have something to do with hormones?

Went through the same crap with Aergia, she told me straight out she will do everything in her power to get her parents back together, I laughed and said good luck with that, guess you will get your mother to divorce her current husband first...

Then she cried one evening, cause BM told her if it was not for me she and SO would've been together again, I laughed and told Aergia, really... ask your mother why she got married 4 months ago then........

Aergia changed her tactics cause she saw I'm not phased out at all with her silly comments, she started talking about their wonderful life they all had, (Aergia was 4/5 when they divorced) Night after night I had to listen to their wonderful life... I talked to SO on various occasions and told him, you are excluding me form everything, you keep on living in the past and you allow Aergia to live in the past, instead of going forward... you 2 can talk about BM and your wonderful life as much as you want when I'm not there..... SO did nothing, normal for a Disney Daddy.

One night Aergia said to SO: You and mum where such a strong couple.... I burst out laughing and said yes so strong that your mother got pregnant with another man..... poor poor girl you have the wrong image of what a strong couple are, they do not cheat on one another... (Aergia was 13)
That stopped all that bulldust that night, she never talked about their wonderful life again....