Needing to vent, get advice, and all around need to know that I'm not the only one with a crazy situation.
So I'll start by giving a little insight into my background, as this is the first time I'm posting anything. I married my junior high sweetheart after dating him for two years and being apart for two years. We met back up after HS graduation and just fell back into being "us". A week after dating (again) we found out that his ex was pregnant. He didn't believe her right away as bc she had lied to him about the same subject before when he left her. Come to find out she was, I gave him the freedom to make whatever descion regarding their relationship he chose. He decided he wanted to be with me but said he was going to be there for the child. We got engaged 3 months later and I found out I was pregnant (big suprise!) 4 months later and then married 2 months after that. Let's just say my pregnancy sucked! Bedrest, preterm labor, infections, not to mention his ex trying everything she could to make our relationship end, including calling my MIL and crying and begging her to "talk some sense" into my DH and take her back for the sake of their child. My MIL has handled everything very very poorly; she talks to the BM all the time, about EVERYTHING including MY family, spends tons of money on her and my SS (even though we pay a rediculous amount in child support), tells me that I shouldn't do things that would upset her such as visiting my SS in the hospital while he was ill, and alot of other things that aren't even worth the space mentioning their so messed up. Now three years later and another baby (mine and my DH's) the BM is preg. again, she intentionally got preg to make this guy marry her, which I should mention what she even admitted doing to my husband. My MIL had three boys and always wanted a girl...I had three boys and..no girls in sight. The BM is having a girl this time and so my MIL has taken it upon herself to be the "honarary grandma" to BM's new baby!!! This only offends me bc there is soooo much favoritism towards my SS in the first place...my kids are like chopped liver to her. Anyone any feedback/advice?
Yep. She is crazy as hell.
Yep. She is crazy as hell. Cut her out if you can. Talk to DH. This is completely dysfunctional and she knows she is hurting you with this garbage but she is too selfish to care.
I've got a similar situation
I've got a similar situation in that my mil and other inlaws completely ignore my children and ss lives with them. No contact with bm so I cant relate there. My kids are now 14, 12, and 9. My kiddos have just accepted their lack of relationship with the inlaws and dont fret about it much-it bothers me far more than it does them. Luckily my parents are awesome grandparents and more than make up for the other shitty side.
My 14 year old and I just discussed this the other day. She told me when she got married she was going to get along with her husbands family (note I dont argue or not "get along" with my inlaws there is just really minimal contact and knowing that they dont like me and mine so I return the feeling). I asked her what she would do if she did her best to get along with them and they just werent interested-she told me, "well, i guess it would be their loss then". And then she told me that's what she thinks of all the inlaws-that it is their loss and she doesnt really expect much of anything from them (she's not talking money but rather a relationship) that way she is not disappointed in them.
Just try and ignore her. It
Just try and ignore her. It isn't fair to your children but there isn't anything that will change it. One day your children will she that she favors them and believe be it will bite your MIL in the a$$. My Future MIL hates me and is BM crazy, they are two peas in a pod which infuriates my FDH to no end but its ok. both he and I have made the choice to let MIL do her own thing if she doesn't want to be an active part in our life together its fine. one day she will regret her choice.
(my fathers mother cut me out of her life along with my mother when I was 1 and when I was 17 I got a call from her asking that I go down to the hospital to be tested as a kidney donor. Anyone else in my family I wouldn't have even given it two thoughts but I told her it is to little to late and I am not going to ruin my dreams of the military for someone who didn't want to be there for me when I was growing up. Life is about choices and we have to live with them.)