Happy Thanksgiving! And a little rant
Today has been great so far! DH and I slept in, showered together, I walked my babies, and he got SD.
The only thing I think is funny is because GBM (BM's mom) is out of town, BM doesn't have Thankgiving plans so she let DH take SD 5 hours early.
3 years ago, BM dropped SD off an hour late even though she knew my family was waiting on us for Thanksgiving dinner. My parents pushed dinner an hour back just so we could get SD at 3pm and BM doesn't show up until almost 4pm because she "wasn't ready". Of course, my parents waited almost another hour for us to arrive. Get this- BM came up to me as I was getting into the car and gave me a big hug with her nasty self like she didn't just screw up our plans. The day ended up fine but that's just another reason I loathe BM. SD even said she told BM they needed to go but BM said she'll drop SD off when she's "ready" :jawdrop:
BM used to keep SD until the very last minute or even late on holidays just to screw with DH and my plans (he always gets the evening half). Funny now that she doesn't have anyone that she freely gives SD up as if she hasn't screwed us over since DH left her cheating arse. Oh well, SD can have fun with us while BM wallows in self pity with her boyfriend and toddler. Maybe she'll sneak away and hang out with her side piece (I'm just speculating but she is a cheater soo...)
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Comments
I used to be chronically
I used to be chronically late. I've overcome it but that's another story.
My family used to tell me dinner/meeting/show was an hour earlier than it actually was. They knew I was always late and so they compensated.
It worked and I made most things on time.
I would suggest that's what you and DH do in the future. You can't change BM, you can only change your reactions to her.
That's how my stepmom is. Her
That's how my stepmom is. Her friends learned to tell her events started an hour to two hours earlier so she'd be *close* to on time. However with BM, she likes to be punctual to anything else so she was choosing to be a jerk.
I think I look at BM very differently than I did 7 years ago. I know I can't change her and I try to laugh at her stupid games and not get involved.
I just don't get it...... IF
I just don't get it......
IF we tell some one the event starts 6pm, please be there 5pm cause we need to drive.... and BM is late, we simply leave the time we said,
either BM keeps the child for the whole night or she comes and drops of the child, but I will not put my life on hold for some one who's trying to control my time and life....
We should have totally made
We should have totally made her drop SD off at my parent's. She'd have had to make over an hour long round trip. Darn it I wish I could go back in time!
DH's ex used to do that to us
DH's ex used to do that to us all the time... for those "holidays" where she didn't keep them the entire time. One Christmas, my family was doing our celebration THREE days after. BM and SK's had gone to her mom's house (3 hours away) on Christmas Eve, and said she'd be back the day before my family's Christmas. On the morning of my family's celebration, she was still at her mom's. At 11am, still hadn't left... my family was an hour away (in the opposite direction) and we were going to eat at 3pm.
DH was mad at BM, but didn't want to leave until his kids were with us (they hated my family, so not sure why it was so important). Of course we argued... I got my kids in the car and left.
DH would throw this in my face (you don't like my kids, you just don't want them around... blah blah blah) until the following Father's Day she did the exact same thing -- decided to get up nice and early and took the kids to friends at a lake.
I agree with Acra. Do your own thing, don't put your life on hold. I can't tell you how many functions we missed/were late for because BM knew DH would put OUR lives on hold and wait around. It apparently wasn't "fun" for her anymore when I just moved on with my fabulous life.
DH knows I care for SD very
DH knows I care for SD very much so he'd never say I didn't like her if I wanted to resume our plans but we definitely shouldn't have succumbed to BM's pettiness. I think the witch has had her fun too and hasn't played games recently.
You need to adjust life
You need to adjust life around the holidays to that you guys are always one step ahead of BM, not allowing her the opportunity to mess with your, and other people’s time. These holidays are literally THE only time some people get off during the year, aside from Christmas time. I’d personally feel like a complete ass allowing BM to screw with such a holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas.
I agree with next time having BM come to wherever you guys are, and you not allowing her antics to hold up everyone else’s day. So, SO inconsiderate.
Yes, inconsiderate is one
Yes, inconsiderate is one word to describe BM. However, she's been very generous this last year now that her baby is now a toddler so I'm sure she loves giving up SD so she can have her personal time. I speculate that she leaves the kid with her boyfriend and hangs out with another man because she's a cheating liar but I could always be wrong.