Oh...OSD Should Do This Clothing Service That TwoOfUs Is Doing!
So.
Trying to figure out the best/shortest way to tell this story...
DH was talking on the phone the other day about kid gifts, plans, etc. OSD has moved with her boyfriend to a town a few hours away and has been applying for receptionist-type jobs part-time while she finishes up the last two years of school. She was mentioning a few weeks ago that she still dresses a bit like a kid, so DH and I have gotten her a couple dress/skirt/slack wardrobe pieces to get her started in a more professional setting.
So, DH is talking on the phone about all of this because we're needing a couple more ideas for SS and OSD in order to catch them up with YSD. I'm not sure who he's talking to, but I assume it's his mom based on some context clues.
Then he says: "Oh, yeah. OSD should do this clothing subscription service that TwoOfUS is doing! It's awesome...she gets a set number of items and accessories...then she sends it back and gets a new box in the mail a couple days later...picks everything out online. If she likes something, she can keep it at a reduced rate..."
He then talks for a bit about how I decided to do it...don't really have time to shop, am losing weight and don't want to buy nice things as my weight is dropping...don't like to shop...but really need more professional clothes after working at home for 8+ years...etc.
He gets off the phone and I say: "Your mom?"
NOPE. He was talking to BM about all this.
A couple things that I'm super annoyed about:
1. I work so much and wrestled with the idea of doing this clothing subscription service for about 3 months because it felt like such an insane luxury. I finally bit the bullet and decided to do it, and I am so glad...love it. It irks me to NO END that DH thinks this might be an appropriate 'gift' for a 21-year-old who doesn't even have a job right now and may get a part-time receptionist job in January. Sure. She is in desperate need of a rotating, professional wardrobe. Really? This bugs me so much.
2. The subscription service is a little under $100 a month...so I'm thinking DH was assuming this might be the kind of gift his parents would do. So why mention all this to BM in the first place. I think he just got excited, we've been doing well lately. It kind of seems like it was more of a backhanded brag to BM than anything else.
3. Which brings me to the third and most annoying point of all. I don't want BM knowing how I manage my affairs or what I'm spending on my day-to-day necessities. Anytime she thinks we're doing well, she comes up with a dozen things 'the kids' need us to pay for. How can my DH be so stupid?!?!
Anyway. That's all. Still not sure I've fully expressed my annoyance here. Anyone else feel like your SO lets too much info slip to the Ex?
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Comments
That man deserves a kick in
That man deserves a kick in the balls.
Did you say anything to him?
Did you say anything to him? I would make it extremely clear that discussing my business with his ex is unacceptable. And no, my husband doesn't coordinate gifts for his nearly adult kids with his ex, let alone casually mention my business to her.
Mine usually doesn't
Mine usually doesn't either...this was very out of the ordinary. He almost never speaks to her.
I think she'd been to see OSD and she called him...not sure why. Going to assume that it was the excitement of hearing about OSD's new place (we haven't been yet) that got his guard down. Seriously, though. The fact that he thinks his 21-year-old daughter who barely works and quits jobs constantly should have the same kind of pro wardrobe that I have...it's just maddening on every level.
Speaks volumes about how deluded he is about his kid.
Yep, that's what bothers me
Yep, that's what bothers me more. You work and pay for this service yourself, and your spouse feels this young girl of his with no job is entitled to the same thing for free. I hope he doesn't realize how much it costs! She's probably going to work part time, if at all, and can get a few black skirts/pants and wear them over and over with different tops.
My ex would do very similar things. He decided to attend a gym regularly and I would work out with him, so he bought me a membership as well. Only he bought himself an executive membership, and bought regular ones for me and SD. Because he couldn't do anything for me that he wasn't also doing for her. Well, I went every day, she never went one time, and he could have upgraded mine with the money he was throwing away on hers. I went and bought my own executive membership elsewhere.
And nope, I don't like ANYTHING about my life being mentioned to BM. Or MIL. It's just none of BM's business and MIL will twist anything I do into something she can complain about.
PS- is it inconvenient to
PS- is it inconvenient to send the clothes back for a service like that? I'm thinking a 21 year old is not going to make the effort to get them back on time, and whoever pays for this is going to be charged for lots of unreturned clothes.
The one I have you can return
The one I have you can return whenever you like...kind of like Netflix. I get the biggest package, which is 5 clothing pieces and 3 accessories at a time. The only thing is you have to return all at once...if you keep something, then they charge you. The clothing is gently used by other members...so it's less than buying full price. I've kept a couple of really nice things, but mostly I return it since I am still slimming down.
In general, I get 2-3 packages a month with how often I return...so about 10-15 pieces to wear each month. It really works well for me.
And yes...assuming that a 21-year-old should have the same service is beyond maddening. Especially after I wrestled with myself for months about it...something I'm actually paying for and can really use...to make sure it made financial sense. Yes. OSD can build her pro wardrobe over time from thrift stores and clearance racks...like I did when I was in college and grad school.
Yes, my DH is way to open
Yes, my DH is way to open with BM about our life. I think it's bragging. He told her all about the trip we had planned during her weekend with SS. She just happens to decide not to pick SS up that weekend. Only weekend she hasn't picked him up. Luckily for him, his parents were able to babysit. We would have been out $1000 for tickets and hotel room fees. I told him NEVER to tell BM our business again.
That's exactly why I want him
That's exactly why I want him to shut up to BM- just in the opposite way. He never gets SD for his EOW. When she's actually planned to come, if he tells BM we're doing anything (which is the only time she used to come), all the sudden BM is changing the pick up time and place 110 times to make sure we're late, and then says, "Well, I'll just bring SD myself" ... so to actually physically insert herself into our plans.
My DH annoys me when he comes
My DH annoys me when he comes back from a visit with a skid and goes on and on about something they had that we or I should get. Like that Alexa thing, and like the lula rue leggings his OSD had. He even ordered like five pair of the leggings for me from her dealer. They were not comfortable for me, too tight like panty hose not like looser fitting leggings that I like. Then it was a hassle to return them. The minute he ordered them I was annoyed since the idea of it came from OSD.
He has also shared a photo of my moms house that she sent me to show the rare snow fall they had. I sent it to him. He then sent it to his admin assistant at work and his Dad and who knows who else. And this irritates me to know end as DH does not even interact with me on Facebook but he will send a photo from my mom around to everyone. It is the last time I will ever share a photo with him.
I would be very miffed if he shared anything about my life with BM.
There would have to be a discussion.