If you read my first blog, DH is ready to pack up and move half way across the country due to a job loss. The move is NOT a good financial move for us but DH seems to be he$$ bent on moving.

I talked to DH this weekend. I finally realized why he wants to go.

A little background first...

SD, age 15, is out of control. She has been for some time. She throws tantrums like a 2 year old. She curses like a sailor. She calls BM all kinds of names. She lies all the time about everything. SD has stolen BM's credit cards on multiple occasions and uses them to buy electronics and clothes online. She has a history of sending naked pictures online (she has been doing this since she was around 11 or 12 years old). She lies about being raped She got mad at a male friend of BM's family. She lied and said he raped her. A few months ago, she told everyone she was a virgin and was raped again by a boy at school. If that was true, then the first story was a lie. She has hit, pushed and shoved BM on multiple occasions. She has been admitted into the mental ward of the hospital 6 or 7 times since she was 12 years old. She has been a group home and was kicked out. She threatened to stab another child and they found scissors (which she should not have) in her room.

DH got a wild hair up his butt and decided to ask me what I thought about him getting custody of SD a few months ago. I told him that since I work at home and he is gone 12 hours of the day. It isn't possible. If she decides to throw one of her tantrums while I am on the phone with a customer, I could lose my job. I also do not want her around my BS, age 20. He has high functioning autism. She will lie and he could get in serious trouble, if she cries rape again.

SD doesn't come to my house now. She doesn't like me. She is the mini wife of DH and she didn't like the fact that i wouldn't let her lay in my bed and hang out in my bedroom with DH. My BS rarely comes in my bedroom and if he does it is to ask a question and he leaves. She ALWAYS wanted to hang ALL over "DADDDDY". During her visitation, DH would hang out in the bedroom and watch tv or play video games and she would watch tv in the living room. I tried to get DH out of the bedroom and hang out with SD in the living room. DH made all kinds of excuses. He didn't like the shows she watches, he wanted to watch a football game or something else and SD did not want to watch it. After I banned SD from my bedroom, she didn't want to ever see me again. She wanted ME to leave MY house while she was here. I told her NO, the house was mine before DH moved in and I pay the rent. She refused to be here. For the past few years, DH doesn't bring her here anymore for visitation he takes her out to the movies and dinner. I haven't seen her in a few years. My weekends are spent watching MY tv downstairs on my couch.

I have saved some money for a down payment of a home.

DH and I have separate finances. I seemed to be able to pay my bills and the household bills (Rent, Utilities, my cell phone bill and car insurance). I also pay all expenses for my BS except his phone bill and his health insurance. His BD pays those. DH struggles paying his car payment, cell phone bill, child support and groceries for himself. DH gets upset because I seemed to have money to spend after I pay my bills and he doesn't. I tried to help DH with his finances but he just doesn't get it. He sees going to the star wars movie and buying a souvenirs with SD more important than paying his DR bill. Now, he is out of medication (he has diabetes) and can't see his Dr until he pays the bill from the last visit. I have bailed him out so many times. I have stopped doing it.

Now, let me get back to the story.

DH found out about his job loss the same day that BM had SD admitted back into the mental unit. DH went to visit SD a few days later. DH doesn't think there is anything wrong with SD mentally. He thinks BM just doesn't know how to parent and that SD would be so much better for him. After all, the few hours they are together on the weekends, SD behaves very well for him. SD's counselor has told DH that he isn't around SD enough to see the "bad" behaviors. Dh feels so sorry for SD because he feels that BM is abusing her. The last time she was in the hospital BM had the nerve to tell SD that she wasn't going to listen to her cursing when she gets home. :O DH couldn't believe that BM said that at the hospital. To him it was so inappropriate. I am sure SD lied about some things during his visit and Was just begging to come live with DADDDY...see DADDDY has always been the fun parent.

DH's logic for a win, win situation on why he wants to move half way across the US. I would go back to work in the office. I would leave my BS here with his dad so he can finish his life skills classes here. We could move there and SD could come over to visit or live with us. I would give him the money that I have been saving for a down payment for a home. DH would stay in a hotel room for a few weeks and then find an apartment. He could use the money to fly back here every other weekend until I found a job there. He could visit SD and of course, stop by to see me until I found a job there. He could also fly SD out to visit him. Since he will be making more money, he will have more money to spend on paying for his medications and dr visits. I just looked at him like he had two heads. I am NOT going to do that.

I do not like my job at all but I like the company and I like working from home. I would NEVER walk off and leave my BS behind right now. If he was living on his own and could support himself, then I would not have a problem. I can't just abandon him now, he has accomplished so much since he has been out of school. I would never give DH that kind of money. Trust me, DH could make 100,000 more a year than he is making now and he still would be behind on his bills.