SS16 & SS20 chickens have come home to roost.
Yesterday was a red letter day for DH. He took off work to take SS16 to the orthodontist. SS16’s braces came off about a year ago and his teeth have shifted. BM thought it was because his wisdom teeth were coming in.
I suspected SS16 isn’t wearing his retainers. DH jumped on the wisdom tooth bandwagon when I suggested the possibility that SS16 wasn’t wearing his retainers. I asked SS16 at dinner last week if he has been wearing his retainers every night. He looked me and DH in the eye and said “yes”. So I stepped out of it.
DH gets called in to speak with the Orthodontist and asks if SS16’s wisdom teeth are coming in and causing his lower to shift. The Orthodontist states point blank, SS16 has not been wearing his retainers. It will be another year before his wisdom teeth come in. The Orthodontist showed DH how SS16 was only half wearing the top retainer. SS16 was wearing it so it fit on the front teeth but left it loose in the back. The Orthodontist said if SS16 wears the top one, the right way, for the next few months 24/7 his upper teethe will go back the way they were when the braces came off. It will be painful but they will move back.
The bottom teeth have shifted too much and are too far gone; the Orthodontist asks DH if he wants to have the braces put back on. DH lost it, and yelled "F*&K NO! WHY WOULD I WASTE MORE MONEY?"
This is in the type of open concept office where all the orthodontists and patients are in one room.
The orthodontist then suggests doing another set of impressions on the lower teeth and then making a retainer for the lowers that will keep the lower teeth from more shifting. DH agreed to that, SS16 is paying for the new retainer.
DH and SS16 leave the office and DH stops SS16 in the parking lot and tells him: “If you ever lie to me again I am done with you. Don’t bother coming over to our house or asking for anything because I don’t help liars.”
He then calls SS20 who is off of school this week. He told SS20 to take SS16 to the orthodontist after school to get the impression for the retainer.
DH calls BM and tells her he's not paying for SS16 to get braces again. BM agreed with DH.
DH had been after SS20 to clean his room at our house. SS20 lives with us full-time and visits BM when he feels like it. I gave up being the nag, as much as SS20’s messy smelly room annoys, I have learned to close the door and move on. DH always had an excuse, SS20 is studying and really trying at school, blah, blah blah. But I digress.
SS20 left Friday to stay with BM for the week, DH told SS20 to clean his room or don’t bother coming back. DH also texted this to SS20 a reminder on Sunday night. And yesterday DH told SS20, “clean your room by Friday or don’t bother coming back. I will pack your sh!t up and drop it off at BMs if it doesn’t get done.
DH was seething when I got home from work last night so I can only imagine how he was in the moment.
DH is finally beginning to realize that all the little things he let slide with the SSons were young are causing serious problems now. I just keep thinking about all the times DH poo-poo-d me when I wanted the boys to do chores and when I wanted him to check to make sure they did their chores. DH always told me I needed to trust them. Nine times out of ten the boys had lied about doing their chores, said they were done and they weren’t. Well this is what happens when you let things go.
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Comments
I love my kid but why would
I love my kid but why would you not want them to grow up to be self sufficient people instead of dirty, smelly liars.
I am glad he is catching on.
I know DH is hurting but it's
I know DH is hurting but it's taking every once of will power i have not to tell him "I told you so."
~BettyRay
I love my kid but why would
I love my kid but why would you not want them to grow up to be self sufficient people instead of dirty, smelly liars.
I am glad he is catching on.
My SD did this, refused to
My SD did this, refused to wear her retainer until the week of the appt. Luckily, I have known the ortho and her regular dentist (married couple) for many years and while they try and tell me she has to wear them, they know I had no control. I just quit scheduling the appts bc if she isn't wearing the retainer, why waste my time.
My gson15, has religiously worn his retainer, which has shocked me! I honestly can't tell he is wearing them so I'm confused on why SD refused. Oh well, she is 17 and she can pay for her own braces when she is an adult.
edited to add: Same with me, if DSO had done the same with the skids, and SD lived with us full time until last June, he let it all go, never kept up and I stopped caring.
Per BM, DH was supposed to
Per BM, DH was supposed to schedule the follow up appointments :? and didn't, he didn't tell me about it so I couldn't nag, in mean remind
him to do it.
I have tried really hard to step back and not care about what the boys do as long as it doesn't directly impact me but it is so annoying that I have to have rooms closed off in my own home, which I pay half of everything for. I have been waiting for a long time for DH to realize how the SSons are using him, and me by association. Could the blinders be coming off?
~BettyRay
But if they aren't wearing
But if they aren't wearing the retainers, follow up appts don't do any good.
Gson had his off at Xmas, an appt 8 weeks later in Feb and then goes back for another set of retainers in Apr. I think its 3 months after that he will go back, that is the one that I didn't bother taking SD to bc she had left her retainer at our house and been at BMs for 2 months, so I cancelled the appt and not worrying about it.
I had to take SD bc DSO doesn't get much vacation time and I work 3 days/week. BM was helping some but SD refused to go if BM took her bc BM went into the room with her and that caused a whole other set of issues with the the dental office.
If i did not wear my
If i did not wear my retainers after I for my braces off my mother would have murdered me. My teeth have shifted a little in the last like two years but I got my braces off at 15. It is not so much that you can even tell.
My orthodontist also had me wearing my retainer 24/7 for like year after I got my braces off. I wore it every night all through high school and most of college. I stopped mid twenties. They are good.
If I were DH I would have told the to wire his mouth shut and fix the teeth to teach him a lesson.
I knew SS16 wasn't mature
I knew SS16 wasn't mature enough for braces. I suggested to DH and BM waiting until he was an adult and committed to the process. I would have been happy to help pay for them then but BM was hell bent on getting his teethe fixed as soon as SS16 turned 12.
Mine have shifted also but it's been 20+ years since I had braces.
~BettyRay
12 that is really young to
12 that is really young to have braces. I do not remember many people having braces when I was that age. Most people did not get them until they were like 14. These days I feel like they put kids in braces at a very young age.
Braces were no fun when I was 14 and I got them off a few month before I turned 16. Your SS16 obviously does not care about his appearance or wasting other peoples money. My brother had them too, he is older than me and he still wears his retainer at 35 at night.
BM was taking him to the
BM was taking him to the orthodontist when he was 10. The braces were put on right before his 13th birthday.
I think it's too young for braces too.
I got mine when I was 14. Although I had to wear head gear at night for 2 years before that. My teeth and bite were really messed up.
~BettyRay
They do it a lot younger now
They do it a lot younger now than they used to. My former step son now 20 got his at 10. His were a mess. They do it younger now because it is easier to move the teeth when things are squished.
Bs needs braces but mainly because they are far apart and buck not crooked. I am waiting till he has lost a few more teeth.
His hygeign is hit or miss at times. As the parent I feel like it is my job to make sure he is on top of things. Ride their butts till it is a natural response.
I would be pissed if he was lying or not what he was supposed to be doing like wearing retainers.
10? My SS has not even lost
10? My SS has not even lost all his baby teeth yet he is 9. I was that kid that did not lose any of their teeth. I still had most of my baby teeth when I was 12. I had to wiggle my teeth that were not loose at all every night to force them out. I got 6 the dentist pulled the other 6. Yup that is 12 total. At one point I only had like my top front and top bottom and few other teeth in my mouth. Eating sucked.
Once they were all in it was determined that my jaw was so small they pulled 4 of my adult teeth, molars. That sucked too. I know they will do those expand things but my jaw is really really small. My retainer looked like it was made for a small kid.
I hate dentist and I hate orthodontist anything to do with teeth.
I just do not see it when they are that young. Kids that age are not responsible enough to remember to take care of their teeth. I know SS will have to have some work done on his teeth. Possibly braces two of his teeth are pointed, not the K9 ones. His are pretty messed up.
I was around 11 or 12 when I
I was around 11 or 12 when I got mine - my teeth were really, really bad. As soon as the ortho could get them on he did - I had them for three years.
And I religiously wore my retainer.
HA! I can top that! The
HA! I can top that! The Girhippo had both OSS and SD in braces the second they turned eight.
Since the skids went on the Girhippo's insurance, YSS had to wait to get braces until he was almost 14 funny how that works. And YSS's teeth were WAY worse than his older siblings. All three skids are so immature it's unbelievable and they never did take care of their teeth anyway.
My bio son actually paid for his own braces when he was over 21. he got the invisaligns and always wore his retainer religiously.
he got very nice results
Sounds like reruns with SD20!
Sounds like reruns with SD20! One time when she was maybe 13? She had a cell phone on my plan. She told DH that it "just quit working" He asked her, did it get wet, did you drop it etc. Nope, just quit working. So DH asks if I can take her into Verizon and see what's up. So I take her in. They ask the same questions wet, drop anything? Nope, just quit working. The tech proceeds to open up the back of the phone where he shows me the little "indicator" tab that had turned pink which means that the phone got wet. I don't know if I've ever been so pissed off or embarrassed in my life. That little lying brat made ME look like a liar standing there at Verizon telling them the phone did not get wet. I remember DH did chew her out, but not really for lying.. he asked her if maybe one of her sisters got a hold of her phone and dropped it in the dog dish or something and SD didn't know about it and told her she needed to take better care of her things (EYE ROLL!!!!)
DH DID however, do the same thing your DH did in that when SD was 14 and living with us, she got mad at DH once and lied about where she was going and had GBM come and pick her up. DH called and told her to get her butt home. She refused. He told her be home by 7 p.m. or he would pack all her crap up and bring it to BMs and she could live there again. SD didn't come home, so DH spent the next 2 hours loading all her shit in the truck and drove it to BMs and dumped it off.
Glad your DH is growing a set and actually holding these two accountable!!
DH was so angry about the
DH was so angry about the lying.
DH also said, "I can't believe SS16 just wasted 4K of our money. We could have done a lot with that."
All I could think was when they've had everything handed to them how do they even begin to understand what it takes to earn that much money.
~BettyRay
All I could think was when
All I could think was when they've had everything handed to them how do they even begin to understand what it takes to earn that much money.
The exact argument I used to have with DH about SD20. She has NEVER taken care of anything in her life, because if it gets ruined, lost, stolen, whatever... she has always just been able to snap her fingers and have it immediately replaced by DH, BM or GBM. At 16 years old DH was handing her 200.00 a month to blow as she pleased (it was SSDI because DH is disabled, so kids get monthly money so DH felt it was "her money") and then giving her MORE money when the 200.00 was blown. It was insane!! I told him he wasn't doing her any favors! Would it be so difficult to put that SSDI $ into a savings account, ya know, like I do with BS8 money EVERY MONTH???? Rather than hand it to her to be squandered?? It would be one thing if she was working, and blowing her paycheck each week.. at least she EARNED the money so she would understand the value... but for DH to just hand money and items over constantly without her doing ANYTHING to earn them was ridiculous!
“Nope, just quit working. The
“Nope, just quit working. The tech proceeds to open up the back of the phone where he shows me the little "indicator" tab that had turned pink which means that the phone got wet. “
So this happened to my first IPhone.
I had not gotten it wet and I had a big argument with Apple. Turns out when I had my phone in the bathroom (on the counter) playing music while I showered, it was getting all this moisture inside it. It was building up like the steam on the mirror.
Apple did replace my phone for free and I stopped taking it into the bathroom.
This happened to me too.
This happened to me too. Used to take a bath and listen to an audio-book. The thing started making crackling noises. Didn't know steam could do that to a cell phone.
~BettyRay
ladies.... why did not buy a
ladies.... why did not buy a water proof bluetooth speaker,
it's awesome lol, sticks to the wall like glue, I switch my phone on in the room and it plays through the bathroom speaker...
I have one now and I love it
I have one now and I love it
~BettyRay
I have one now, but I’m not
I have one now, but I’m not even sure I knew what Bluetooth was back when I got my first phone.
I hope DH stands straight
I hope DH stands straight with this decisions he made and not flop belly over as soon as the skids manipulate him again...
Then for you, how long did the gloating and inner happy dance lasted?
Still doing the inner happy
Still doing the inner happy dance.
Before DH and SS16 left this morning I asked SS16 (in front of DH) if he had brushed his teeth. SS16 said "no" and DH flipped out.
Well it's Wednesday and SS20 hasn't cleaned his room yet. Just continuing to remind DH of his plan each night after dinner...and gathering boxes in the basement. Although SS20 is a procrastinator so I'm sure he'll be cleaning it when we get home from work on Friday.
~BettyRay
hey at least SS16 told the
hey at least SS16 told the truth this morning lol....
I would simply encourage DH to clean SS20's room now, he had a change and ignored it, thus do it for him
Brought that up yesterday and
Brought that up yesterday and DH was adamant about waiting till Friday.
Edited to add: DH was bragging about SS20 to our tax prep person last night. :sick: When DH was finished I said, "yes, such a hard worker and student that he doesn't find the time to help with anything around the house or clean his room." DH was not happy with me but kept his mouth shut.
~BettyRay