You find a man you love and his child and ex-wife are going to put you in your place. What did you do wrong? Her actions are rooted in a very dark place and it's going to be hard not to do the tit-for-tat reactions.

You love your man, try to hold onto all the positive things about yur relationship. Maybe soon he will tell his daughter that the next holiday you and your daughter are coming along, and if she doesn't like it she can stay home. Here's to hoping.

I think your partner should talk to his daughter to try and convince her to meet you and your son one day. If she doesn't enjoy the meeting with you then she doesn't have to do it again or just to have your partner include you and your son on holidays so sdaughter will get use to you guys. Hope that helps.

that's a really tough one. I guess that one thing to do might be to avoid conflict and know that she is a mere year away from 'adulthood' ie: no more adult caretaking necessary!

If I were in the same situation, I would probably sit down and write her a note to the effect of:
'You must be really angry that your mom and dad are not together anymore. You are just about grown-up, and I am not here to be your mother, or even your friend. I have my own life and its a pretty great one, so if you ever decide to be a part of it, I will always welcome you. In the meantime, you are a 17 year old with your own point of view, and I respect that. Best Wishes,.....'

or maybe something calm and undemanding like that? Just my two cents worth...and good luck. I'm sure that you miss him when he's away.

Oh, one question. If she refuses to visit his place, does that necessarily mean that HE should stay at the EX's home? Maybe an inexpensive hotel would be more neutral territory...it just sounds messy and frustrating for you if he is staying in her home.

Good luck!

I would write her a letter..
I would explain to her what she said about not wanting to take her mothers place. That you are very sorry that she is feeling hurt and probably cheated. Her anger may really not even be with you but her parents, which how a child deals with that is directs that anger in another direction which just happens to be you because you are with her dad. Just let her know how much you care about her father and that your door will always be open to her if she decides that she would like to meet you. maybe ask her to lunch or something. By herself and yourself. maybe she would find comfort in you coming to her instead of her dad.

The bio bitch I think I would buy the skimpiest thing possible and mail it to her.. And say thank you.. That is just the bitch coming out in me though.. On the other hand if you do that it might actually back fire with the plans of meeting the daughter. She sounds like a very bitter woman..

Kills me when ex's are like that. A lot of it is just knowing that there ex is happy with someone else and usually you learn from your 1st marriage and look for different things and find what you want and then treat that person better.. I know my 1st husband did not stand a chance but my husband now I treat him like a king.. But then again I am not barely 20 I am 31. A huge diff.

anyways.. I wish you luck. Extend your hand first and see if she extends hers back.

You are a strong person though.. I don't think I would handle my husband going to the ex's to stay..

And I just want to know what 17 year old does not like to stay home alone when a parent is gone and have parties like they are not suppose too. My SS everytime we were out of town would throw a party.. Used to piss me off.. Cuz he wasn't of age and people would sleep in my bed.. GROSS..

Does she thing you are the reason he left her? That you were in the pic before hand? or could she be upset that he only waited 4 months before jumping into someone else's bedsheets after being in hers for at least the last 18 years? Playing devils advocate here.... just wondering.