My kids and the step kids
Here's my current problem. I am in the middle of planning a family vacation for me and my children to go to disneyworld. Hopefully we will go spring break of next year. But, none of that is the problem. I kind of feel guilty about not really wanting to take the step kids, I really want to spend some quality time with just mine. Is that wrong? My kids are one and five basically free for them but my sks are 8 and 11 I would have to pay for them. Not that I don't want to but that would be more money taken away from my kids. I know that this may sound selfish to some but, let me say that every event that I do with my children I do with my sks too. This one would be the first. I talked to DH about it and he said he was fine with it. So should I try to include them also and just tell their mom that she is going to have to front some of the costs for them if she wants them to go? What would be the best thing to do? Please give me some feedback.
I don't think you are being
I don't think you are being selfish. My kids are the same as my skids, and I would like to take a vacation withjust my girls. My skids are boys and it would be nice to just do a girl trip. I feel just because you have remarried and inherit skids doesn't mean you have to include thme in everything. Not sure aksing bm to help pay is a wise move. But isn't 1 kind of young to take to disneyworld? Anyway I wouldn't worry about it and just take a trip with your kids.
Go with YOUR kids and have fun!
There's nothing wrong with doing things just with your own children. Their mother does things just with them, so why can't you do things just with yours? Fair or unfair, I don't know and I don't think it matters. It's the reality of living in Stepworld. If you hadn't remarried and gotten yourself some skids, would you have still gone? Of course! So go, and have a blast!
~ Anne ~
"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there." ...Anonymous
Absolutely GO and have fun
You may love your step kids, but your bio kids are YOUR kids and you are entitled to do exclusive things with them sometimes. Just like Anne says, your SK's mum will do exclusive things with them too.
I am so jelous, would love to go to Disneyworld. Go and have fun.
I agree....
I agree with everyone saying that you should go but I also completely understand why you would feel badly.... I can understand wanting to some alone time with just 'your' kids. What does your husband think?
put your self in your step kids shoes
put your self in your step kids shoes and your kids shoes and make a choice i thing when you marry your spouse and kids come with it
We Do Both
Before we married, for 10 yrs DH and I raised our kids as single parents and the kids got used to one on one time. So we do girl trips.. He does individual trips with his kids and then we do several family trips.
Many times if I am out of town or he goes, we will rearrange the kids schedule so that we have a weekend home with just our own kids... kind of like "it use" to be. It's fun and everyone looks forward to it.
One thing I am learning about blending families is flexibility. We found that you cannot apply standard nuclear family scenarios to blended families. Case in point... my family and friends used to feel sorry for me carrying the weight of raising the girls by myself... now they are jealous that I get EO weekends off!! Go figure... But if I were not divorced I do know that I wouldn't get that break... NOW THERE is an upside!!