My husband was awarded full legal and physical custody of his 2 daughters in 2001 when they were 8 and 13. Investigation stated 'mother is unable to put her needs ahead of the children'. Counseling was court ordered due to 'mental and physical abuse children have experienced in their mothers home.' No therapist or judge would order supervised visitation or stop visitation. Fast forward thru weekly therapy, behavioral hospitals, intervention programs and oldest daughter at 16 decides she wants to live with mother. We report to police as runaway (this is Alaska). They speak to her, officers say there is nothing they can do. Therapist say it is best to allow her to live with her mother at 16 cause you can not restrain child or force them. Child drops out of school, gets tattooed, etc, etc. Bio mother has a 'bad night'-gets drunk and takes a gun to another minor that was living with her and is arrested. This is in 2005. Also history of domestic violence with boyfriend and suicide attempts. Spends 2 months in jail before 3rd party. Plea bargains. We track down child and bring her home. She stays with us about 6 months, we filed court papers but didn't even get a hearing and again she runsaway to mom. Report to police, they talk to her, say there is nothing they can do. We are in and out of court for the next 6 months. Judge let her decide where she wanted to live because she refused to live in our home. She is now a 19, a HS drop out, unemployed, unmarried, pregnant and living with her boyfriend and his mother. Leaves phone messages for us wishing us a slow death as we 'ruined her mothers life'.
Now for her younger sister who also was in weekly therapy since 2001. No behavioral hospitals or interventions for this child, just weekly therapy and watching what her sister went through. In 2007, at 15 yr old she goes to bio moms for spring break as ordered in visitation and refuses to return to our home saying she is happy at her mothers. Mom gets attorney, files for custody. Remember, this is the woman who got drunk and took a gun to a minor in 2005, 2 months in jail, conviction and on probation order not to drink or do non rx meds. We report to police as runawy, they interview child and mother -say there is nothing they can do 'cause child refuses to return home. Depositions filed where child claims she needs her mother to be happy (I won't go into the emotional blackmail and guilt trip this 'mother' put on her own daughters - if you don't live with me I will kill myself). 10 month later case is finally heard, judge fixates on fact that child is 16 and in deposition has said she is happy living with her mother. Bio mother is granted physical custody, we ask for legal or joint legal. Judge denies joint legal custody 'cause mother refuses to talk to kids father.
Don't know about the law in your state but this is in direct conflict with what family law in Alaska says should happen but it doesn't matter. The Judge has final say. Kids know they can do what they want. Mother now has physical and legal custody of child. You have no guarantee even with the law on your side.