What to talk to K about with KA

*Medical Insurance. (We’ll be shopping around for insurance, be it through a private provider, or the State Health Program.) K can retain any of her same doctors and coverage. We would like, when Kim got a job, to look into insurance for K.- pricing, (etc.) –It may be cheaper to have her on Kim’s plan, and we could possibly split the cost.

*College Fund. (How is this being handled.) What is in the divorce decree to provide/who provides it? We will not be funding K’s entire college education.

*Moving, (K. needs to split toys, and we need 3-4 outfits for our home. Since Kate bought 2 outfits, those can come, or two other outfits can come in their place.)

Packing List for K: (Please get ready for moving day, and we can swing by and pick up.)
*3-4 pairs of underwear/socks/pants and tops. (Suitable for Fall/Winter)
*1 pair tennis shoes. (Josh just bought a pair of shoes, she can bring those or another pair in their place. –Suitable for Fall/Winter- not flip flops.)
*Hair accessories, (a few binders and whatever Kaeyla likes for her hair.) (If Kaeyla has an extra hairbrush she likes, that would be great.)
*Any special stuffed animals that can be at our home so that she is comfortable in the space.
*Any toys that can be in our home that she can play with.
*Trundle Bed w/mattresses
*Any additional documents that Josh will need to retain- (he can make copies and return.) –New Divorce Decree, Car Refinance, House Bills, etc.

*Communication: We want to assure that all lines of communication remain open between Josh/Kaeyla, Kate/Kaeyla and Kim/Kate/Josh
- However, during non-Kaeyla times, things that need to be addressed, (unless an emergency,) can be addressed at pick-up/drop-off. (No need for unnecessary calls.)

*Pick-Up/Drop-Off Adjustments: Because of the extra drive, pick ups and drop offs will now be shared. Kim can drop K. off or pick her up for the weekends and Weds; (we are flexible.) We’ll work out an arrangement and stick to it, unless an emergency occurs. Pick Up and Drop Off will happen at homes only, unless another arrangement is made BEFORE the date. We are sensitive to Kim’s gas concerns, but the truck only holds three, so Kate will also be driving to drop off and pick up. Drop off and pick up times are to remain consistent with arrangement already agreed-upon.

*Language being used around Kaeyla: We just want to reinforce the spot it’s putting Kaeyla in to hear that “mommy can’t afford…” It’s unnecessary that an 8-year-old should have to understand adult issues. Kaeyla should never be told to, “ask her father because Mommy can’t afford it.” We will have our own bills, also, and respect the way Kim is utilizing her money, and we hope she can respect ours. We will always be respectful of Kim in front, (and behind,) Kaeyla. We ask the same.

*Additional Monies beside Child Support: We want Kim to understand that our budget will be similar to hers, and any additional money requested needs to fall in these guidelines:
Medical Payment, (for emergency services, or Kaeyla’s medical/dental bills.) We will pay half as declared in the Divorce Decree.
Activity fee for ONE sport per season. (Basketball/Soccer, etc.) We will SPLIT one sport per season with Kim for an activity fee for Kaeyla, within reason. We must agree on the amount and sport/activity BEFORE Kaeyla is enrolled. Camps and Clinics at this time do not apply.
Any additional expenses, (clothing, school fees, holidays, birthdays, supplies-) needs to come out of the Child Support Monies that are paid monthly. No exceptions.
**See Attached for HOLIDAY SCHEDULE
*For Kaeyla’s school activities on evenings, we’d request to have the monthly schedule that is handed out- and we can photocopy- so that we always know what’s going on. For conferences, both Josh and Kate would like to be present. For school activities, both Josh and Kate would like to be present.
*Birthday gatherings: We hope that we can hold one celebration for Kaeyla and we can all be present. If the party is at a venue or outside the home, we will pay a reasonable amount towards the party. (Ie: Half, not to exceed $50.00) We will bring our own gifts, and not ‘go in’ on gifts for Kaeyla, as that could seem confusing.
*Christmas: We will buy separate gifts for Christmas, and will not reimburse for any gifts, outings, or etc. We will have a separate Christmas celebration.
*Wedding- Kaeyla will be in the wedding. We’ll provide any necessary items for her to do so.

*Kaeyla may ALWAYS call. If excessive calling is a problem, (we can’t see that happening,) we’ll deal with that problem as it arises. We hope that the verbage, “Kaeyla can see her father whenever she wants,” ceases, as she’s been stating that her mother is saying she can see her father, “all week” if she wants. We worry this may cause her to be sad if we explain that she can’t see us when she expects to. As she’s older, she can understand what the arrangements are.

*Attitude: Kaeyla is experiencing huge changes and we want to make sure she is as comfortable and happy as possible. We hope that respect on both sides stays established, and we are a united ‘front’ for Kaeyla’s sake. Behavior not tolerated in our home is:
-Whining
-Disrespect, (talking back.)
-Attitude, (telling Josh and Kate what to do.)
When these occur we will discipline accordingly. We hope that the lines of communication can stay open, so when something major occurs, we can talk about the situation with Kim, and rectify together.
We are becoming more concerned with Kaeyla’s ‘I want!’ attitude. She is becoming very involved in her looks, and in the things she wants. She is asking for things she knows she can’t have, (a Wii,) and it’s beginning to cause issues.

*Bratz Dolls/Inappropriate Clothing. Because Kaeyla is at such an impressionable age, we will only allow her to wear clothing that is appropriate for her age. (Limited Too, etc.) Kate really feels strongly against Kaeyla wearing BEBE/Abercrombie clothes, (as the name –BEBE is a direct relation to something that does not belong on a little girl.) As for Bratz dolls, or any other inappropriate toys, we ask that they do not come with Kaeyla to our home. No posters of Bratz will be allowed, or any accessories. We are all for High School Musical, and other Disney channel items. The Bratz dolls are both inappropriate in attitude and dress, as we want to teach Kaeyla that ‘looks’ and ‘the perfect outfit’ are not important to her emotional, and intellectual development.
Recently it came to Kate’s attention that in the car with Kaeyla, she stated that ‘pretty’ people don’t need to go to college, they can make lots of money. I feel like this is a direct relation to what the media, and other influences are trying to embed in today’s youth. Education is very important, and we hope that Kim pushes Kaeyla positively to look forward to college. Kaeyla stated that ‘college is a waste of money, mom says.’ So we want to make sure we’re on the same page about her intellectual development.

We hope that as Kaeyla matures, her attitude of ‘If I want it, I can have it,’ will cease. We want to make sure that in both homes, reasonable limits are set, and that Kaeyla can experience life as a child, not as someone who is allowed to ‘make her own rules.’