every other year on Christmas, as my Ex and I rotate years, so we each have them for the holidays. We live long distance as well, so I get them for the whole christmas break :). My kids are happy we do this, as they don't have to stress about who gets who when, or be shuffled around....even when we lived closer we did it that way, to avoid any conflict, or intrude on the other parents/kids time.Doing what is best for the kids, is always the way to go in situations like this."~waiting on the world to change~"

rotating years is the best way, in my opinion. u never know when each family will celebrate and trying to coordinate gets so tricky...u could even split the day and end up not being able to celebrate w them and the whole family anyway! its just easier for everyone this way...and u cant worry about the skids bc lord knows that could change at any minute!

DH and BM used to have rotating which worked great but when they went to mediation, the mediator MADE them split halloween, t-giving and xmas...even though neither wanted to. so they just work it out between them.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

DH gets Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve one year, then Christmas Day the next. But Christmas day starts at 5 pm on Christmas Eve. Don't know that this is the best setup, but it lets both parents see the kid around the holidays. I already told DH that we will celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day regardless of when SD as there, as she is 15 and BDs are 5 and 2 and still believe in Santa.

I say do what works best for your kids, you and your ex. If you are both in agreement then go with that.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

DH and his ex have this arrangement:
*every other year DH has the girls Xmas Eve
day until Christmas Day (around 10am),
then they go to BMs
*on years that DH has Xmas Eve, BM gets them
for New Year's Eve, and DH gets them on
New Year's Day at noon
*Every other year it is switched

This arrangement is STUPID STUPID STUPID. I do understand that both parents do want to see the kids on Chrismtas day, but EVERY Christmas has led to upheaval, stress, crying, and overall angst over this ridiculous timeframe.

And WHY? Because on years when WE have the girls on Xmas morning, BM is calling our house 10 times to bother the girls, "When are you coming? When are you coming? Can you come early? I need you early?" And stressing them out. So our Christmas mornings are filled with stressed faces and rushed openings of presents because they have to "run to mommys" OR ELSE!!!

And on years when they are at BMs and should be at OUR HOUSE at 10am, the phone rings at 9:45..."Ummmm, hi dad...we're ummmmm, kinda, ummmm....running late.....and ummmm.....wont' be there until....ummmmm maybe 11:00 or so. Are you mad?"

Oh, NO, of course, not! We should be USED to it by now! We'll see you at NOON, when you finally get here!

And so it will be this year...

Christmas is for KIDS. The parents need to put their own selfish needs aside and let the kids relax and not shuffle them back and forth in the middle of a holiday for cripe's sake! Is it REALLY going to matter if the presents don't hold for an extra day or two (or even a week)?

Sometime in life, you don't always get exactly what you want. Suck it up. The kids already lost out on their perfect Christmas with both their parents- let them at least have a semi-peaceful one, if at all possible.

But that's just my opinion.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

kids (they are all grown) on Christmas morning at 10am EVERY YEAR. They have breakfast and go home. They are gone in 2 hours, more or less.

His kids come over after mine leave. They stay for 6 or 7 hours---wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

I don't want to see anyone that long. When I visited my parents I would leave after 2 hours. They looked tired. They looked happy when we came and happy when we left.

Geez, 6 or 7 hoursssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. If they came for 2-3 hours and left, I could handle it better.

Last year I had BD from 6:00 pm Christmas eve night to noon Christmas day. Then she went to her dads. We live 5 miles from each other so it makes it easy. This year just the opposite. Her dad has her 6:00 pm Christmas eve night and I get her noon Christmas Day.

My BD8 is from my ex so we do every other holiday and it is supposed to be from 8am to 8pm. Over the years, we have adjusted the schedule to fit our needs and most of the time it works. Two years ago, he asked me at almost the last minute to trade days because his niece had to work on Christmas Eve. Too bad so sad! I had all ready made plans with my folks and the kids and I was not changing them for my ex. This year he has Christmas Day but they celebrated Christmas on Thanksgiving so my ex told me I could have BD8 for both days. Wow, how generous!

My BF is still working out the holiday schedule with BM. She has proposed that she gets x-mas eve every year until 9am on xmas day since her family always celebrates on xmas eve. Its a nice place except, IMO, one of the thrills of Christmas, as a child, is waking up to all the gifts under the tree and waking up your parents so you can open them. SS1 would never get that at BF house if they go with this plan plus we live 60 miles apart but meet in the middle so who wants to travel that much all in one day if we go to the grandparents houses too.

I wish we would just rotate the christmas holiday. right now we switch: we get him christmas eve, she gets him christmas day, the next vice versa. It really bites. Especially since she is too stupid to remember when she had him last year. In fact wednesday night she told us in her exact words were "I am getting him christmas eve bitch" of course she had him christmas eve last year and we have already made decisions and plans for this year. She got mad when H tried calling and called in a harrassment charge to the police. Of course now we can't call her and the officer won't call us back so we can file real harrassment charges on her (she text us for 2 hours straight about some other bull#@!* then told the cop that we were harrassing her over christmas.) I cannot wait to show the cop the text messages and I wish I could see the look on her face when he calls her and tells her not to call us.

I have tried to get them to rotate.. but BM is stubborn and doesnt LIKE that idea.. Of course, she doesnt do any of the driving so what does it matter to her?!!? The skids live a little over an hour away. It has happened 2 times in the 5 yrs that he has had them for both xmas eve and xmas day.. the only reasons those happened was due to my inlaws.. they requested.. and they got..

This year, we arent getting them at all. We had them the whole time last year.. and I just wasnt up to the split this year, and told my dh as much. He conceded that perhaps she could be swayed into an every other year deal if we willingly gave up his split this year, as we had them all of last year at MIL's request.

I firmly believe that the skids should rotate years.. Its hard on them getting shuffled around... I agree that the shuffling seems more for the adults than the benefit of the skids.

This is FH's first Christmas to have custody of the skids. The order states that on even numbered years BM gets them from the time they get out of school until the 28th and FH gets them from the 28th until school resumes. I love this idea. Nothing ruins my Christmas day more than the kid trade off and having to see BM's ugly mug. Ugh!

I'm so looking forward to a low stress holiday. Oooh and I just thought of something! I bet we can even save on presents by doing some of the kids' shopping on boxing day!

I picture an idyllic waking up Christmas morning, snuggling up to FH and opening presents, eating good food and playing with OUR new toys all day and not having to go anywhere. Not to mention like a solid 10 days without skids. I'll prob miss them a little bit tho

I used to love the holidays....until I had stepkids....they ruined everything.

"Stop this train...I want to get off"

SS16 is ALWAYS with us for Holidays(DH is reluctantly giving up the Crown Prince Zippy for boxing day this year!)- BM & SS do not celebrate anything together-it is like she is dead to him-if it were not for us telling him to at least call his Mom-there would be no contact-she lives 15 minutes away from us, does not work and drives so I wonder what the problem is?-

DH loves being the one and only adored parent of Zippy-they are attached at the hip.

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!