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Valentine's Day -- hijacked

Austen's picture

Submitted by Austen on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 7:49am

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So this was to be the first Valentine's Day for DH and I together in five years without the children. (They were supposed to have been with the BM.) Instead, BM makes plans so we have to take them on that night -- and we agree to before realizing it's Valentine's Day. (She, of course, didn't mention it.)
I'm not looking for advice -- I've changed our plans to include the SKs and that's fine -- but anyone else have any horror stories?
I thought for one year we would get a Valentine's Day on a Saturday night alone, without having to worry about coming home for a babysitter or without my having to go to the work of making a special dinner for everybody ... I really shoulda' known better.

sam's picture

Submitted by sam on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 8:21am

Our wedding night ss and sd phone their aunt and ask if they could go to her cottage for the week while we were on our honeymoon.Aunt says yes but no to my bs so skids didnt go and they were pissed.

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Mon, 02/09/2009 - 6:36pm

A 15 year old truant in trouble for getting caught with pot--BM waited five months to tell us. DH found out about court for drugs when he called about the truancy charge...naturally they schedule yet another date on our FIRST ANNIVERSARY! My DH did not go--BM caused all this by not getting SS out of bed and supervising him staying in school. So here we are at the beach and having to do the phone call check-in on "how did it go." BM nor SS called us, natch...

Austen's picture

Submitted by Austen on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 7:16am

What horror stories! And I must say that the other post about the BM asking for a date on VD is far worse than my complaint.

doglover1's picture

Submitted by doglover1 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 7:29am

How about that.......when we got married we had to pick a day that we had skids cus BM would never let them come to wedding on HER day...so after wedding we had skids YEY . Also we have had skids every single v day thats 5 years also. THis year we are not supposed to have them...but who knows. Im not banking on it.

Endora's picture

Submitted by Endora on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 12:13pm

Zippy has Friday off from school-this WHOLE weekend he is with us-and Monday is a stat holiday in this province-

4 WHOLE DAYS WITH ZIPPY-he won't go out of the house to do anything-so it will be 24/7 gaming and eating and generally making a nuisance of himself-

Looks like Crayon and I will have a great Valentine's Day thinking of ways to get out of the house while our SO's fall all over themselves to molly coddle the boys!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

secondwife20's picture

Submitted by secondwife20 on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 12:30pm

is our first year anniversary. So of course we get SD8.

I am so excited! Biggrin

Not.

I just have to keep thinking to myself that I will only have to deal with SD8 for two days.

Endora's picture

Submitted by Endora on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:15pm

We should make one of those serious black and white documentaries and scare people from getting into relationships with people who have kids.

OR

We could swap skids for the various holidays-anyone up for Zippy this weekend?

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

bellacita's picture

Submitted by bellacita on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:17pm

my DH has to work all weekend, even on monday the holiday, so i'll be spending valentine's wkend w SS15. que romantico, no?

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:30pm

DH has to work Valentine's Day, but it's our weekend with SD15. Which means I will get to spend the day with the spoiled brat. Oh boy!

lil_teapot's picture

Submitted by lil_teapot on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 1:53pm

unless we physically pick up and go on a vacation!!! FH can't just say, we're taking a mini-vacation in our own home so we're going to have your BM keep you for a week, so ya then...

It's sooo frustrating. It would be nice to take some time to relax, even fix stuff around the house, but as long as we are physically in it, FH won't allow us to be there w/o the skids. They supposedly would wind up there anyways so "we might just as well take them..."
Uggg!!!! It's no wonder we have no financial action plan or do any sort of life-stuff together. If it doesn't involve his kids directly we don't do it or think about it.

Sometimes all I want is to just be home, ALONE with him w/o skids...is that so much to ask?? So no, we're not having any sort of special Valentine's day either...

Austen's picture

Submitted by Austen on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 10:21am

a spa weekend ALONE should be in your immediate future?

secondwife20's picture

Submitted by secondwife20 on Wed, 02/11/2009 - 10:09am

DH thinks I'm unrealistic by expecting his precious devil child to act like an adult all the time.

Excuse me, but I didn't realize that saying thank you or please was an "adult" thing to do. My bad.

:barf:

Apparently I didn't know that talking like an eight year old rather than a two year old was TOO ADULT FOR HER! God forbid SD8 talk like someone her age instead of "Da Da DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA waaaaaaaaaaah gimme milkie pwease!"

>:( Bah!

serenity now's picture

Submitted by serenity now (not verified) on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 12:57am

I spent my valentine's day with SD7's BM and her entire family! Valentine's Day is SD7's birthday and we all spent it together......blech! I love my DF dearly but I would rather have poured salt in a paper cut all day then to have spent it with them. The constant references about when the two of them where married during lunch, the replaying of a video that just "happened" to still be in the video camera from when SD7 was a baby....I could go on and on. These people are delusional if they think I am spending another Valentine's day or any other important day with them.

Austen's picture

Submitted by Austen on Thu, 02/19/2009 - 10:41am

Separate birthdays parties should be in your immediate future.
I came across a similar video and almost lost my lunch (it came as such a shock that DH actually was in love with someone else. Stupid, I know.) I can't imagine watching it with the BM.
Really, you can have a separate party just for your family. And should!

Flustered's picture

Submitted by Flustered on Thu, 02/16/2023 - 5:05am

My BD  remarried to a great guy with BKs. Their BM  took the first Christmas and *said* she had Covid  ( no one did). It was simply to keep the kids with her. This BM uses her kids ( teens) like bartering chips... she " offered" 2 hours on Christmas and called up while everyone was there to scream about needing more support. How my BD & her DH manage to run a sane house of 4 blended kids with this harpy BM in the background is beyond me.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Fri, 02/24/2023 - 2:44pm

Not much has really changed!