husband is making me crazy
I have a 7 yr old girl and he has a 12 year old son and he treats him like he is made of gold. It doesn't matter, the kid gets his way constantly. He has never had a spanking since I have been around, but I will give my daughter one when she needs it. My husband is absolutely blind to the way he treats his son compared to the way my daughter is treated. He has even saved all of the kids clothes, pictures, junk, hell everything from when he was a baby. Everything, and he won't throw anything out. I bet you he has over 500 pictures in frames of nothing but his son. We just had a big fight today because I was unpacking some christmas decorations and there was a green construction paper tree in the box that his son made 5 or 6 years ago and he started yelling at me to not mess that up.Its just ridiculous. I love the art work my children have done too but not the that extreme. Help
What's the parenting
What's the parenting schedule like with SS? It sounds to me your DH makes up for lost time by hoarding so much.
When you say the way your daughter gets treated are you referring to how you're treating her or how he's treating her?
Parents love their bio children different then other children so it will show although it should be minimal. Does your daughter notice the difference in treatment? Is she hurt by it or is she fine with the love you're giving her? How about her bioDad?
I'm asking a lot of questions here. Just trying to get more info
trrs1963 Ok I don't know
trrs1963 Ok I don't know what ss means or dh means. sorry. No my daughter is not complaining at all. She doesn't notice it but I notice it. My husband can't even see the way he is. But my step son seems to think that whatever he wants he gets. He even told me that. He thinks he is superior to us. Me and daughter. Its so hard to explain. I am just so tired of it. His son still sits in his dads lap like a 3 year old.
trrs1963 by the way, his
trrs1963 by the way, his mother is not in picture. her dad however is great with her.
SS stands for stepson, DH
SS stands for stepson, DH stands for Dear Hubby or if he's being an ass D@ck Head
You'll find more abreviations on the FAQ page by clicking on the link to the left of this page.
Now back to your story. As long as your BD (biological daughter) doesnt notice I wouldn't make a beef about that too much.
As for your DH treating his son the way he does, you've done your best to express how you feel to DH but your approach isnt working. Suggest family counseling so BOTH of you can learn the tools to deal with blended families. If DH says no---(this is going to be tough)-- you need to disengage from getting involved with his parenting skills. DH is just going to get defensive.
However, speak up if DH or his son shows gross disrespect to you or your daughter.
trrs1963 thanks, I
trrs1963 thanks, I appreciate the advice. I will try. So, If he takes the birthday card his son gave him to work and places it on his desk and leaves the birthday card my daughter gave him at home, I shouldn't say anything. Or when he goes and tells his son, come and watch tv with me and my daughter is there but he doesn't address her, I shouldn't say anything. Its hard to keep quiet. its always stuff like that going on,.
How long have you been
How long have you been married and did you see any of these signs before you got married?
I can only think that since SS mother is not in the picture, possibly DH has taken over both father and mother roles and now that he knows you are not that keen on his parenting skills or the lack there of, he may be showing his arse and shoving your daughter out of the picture to be hateful. If DH isnt going to acknowledge cards or whatever from your daughter, then perhaps he doesnt deserve them. She has to see her card at home and SS's are gone, even if she doesnt say anything.
I love my children but I am not obsessed with them, I will not save every scrap of paper or have 500 pictures of my children around the house. My children know I love them without all the bells and whistles... perhaps your DH has some guilt parenting issues... making up for something that he did or did not do in sons life?
You have to remind yourself; sometimes people are just stupid, say stupid things and do stupid things... and there is really nothing you can do to change them. Try your best to show your daughter she is loved. If DH invites his son to go watch tele, then how about you and daughter go do her hair or nails, play dolls, have a tea party or just go for a walk. Get the hell out for awhile and dont let his baggage weigh on you.
trrs1963 thank you so much.
trrs1963 thank you so much. It just helps to get it off my chest.