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ohnoyoudidnt's picture

Submitted by ohnoyoudidnt on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:10am

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Just wanted to say "hello"
I have been looking for somewhere to be for a long time. Found this forum while doing a search for step-parents.

I have been a SM for over 10 years, and it seems like the drama from BM & SS will never end.
I am at the point where I don't want to care but I cannot give up.
My story is long, and tissue worthy. Reading some of the posts last night I found that my story sounds the same as a lot of posts on here.

I hope that this is "somewhere" that I can belong as I feel out numbered and lost at home.

Denial's picture

Submitted by Denial on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 12:59pm

Welcome! I haven't been a member that long, but it has made a world of difference already - nice people, good advice and a place to get it off your chest so you don't unload on every little thing at home.

DH and SS16 have always made me feel like an outsider. DH makes me feel like I am being ridiculous - reading others posts, I know it's not me. Unfortunately it seems to be more and more the norm for blended families.

pregostepmommy's picture

Submitted by pregostepmommy on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 1:01pm

Welcome!

I am new to this site also. I was so relieved to find somewhere full of people who know EXACTLY where I'm coming from and what I'm going through. I used to think "holy hell how can my life be like this, crazy people don't exist like this (talking about BM)" but the more I read here, the more I realize crazy people and situations are everywhere and all we can do is be there for each other!

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 7:30pm

Welcome, OnTheBrink! I've been a member for almost a year. It's been a good place for me.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

mommaappel's picture

Submitted by mommaappel on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 7:31pm

Wewlcome!
I'm very new too and I LOVE it here. Sometimes i just sit and read for hours what others are going thru. It helps so much to know that you are not alone and sadly sometimes what I read makes me grateful that CB(crazy bitch)BM isnt worse than she is. I was really getting wound up and was having trouble sleeping some nights, esp after a text or call from CB-BM or SD13 and would end up on the couch, but since coming here several weeks ago I have only been on the couch twice!! yahoooo!!! Would love to read your blog so lay it on us sister we are here for you!!

Shell97's picture

Submitted by Shell97 on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 7:38pm

Welcome!

I haven't been a member here long, but I will say that when I came across this site....I thanked god for sending me to this site. I have been a SM for almost 10 years and this site has helped me a great deal. I wish I would have found it sooner than a few weeks ago. Because my DH and family were getting tired of me venting to them. And for once I feel like I am not alone in this SM world of hell. There is a lot of good advice on here from other members and 99% of the time, one or many of us have experienced something that is new to you and could give you advice on how to handle it and vise versa, you say you've been a SM for over 10 years....I'm sure you probably have some advice pass on to us rookies to.

ohnoyoudidnt's picture

Submitted by ohnoyoudidnt on Wed, 12/16/2009 - 12:54pm

Thanks for all the welcomes!
Still trying to figure out how this site works Smile Blogs and all.

Gosh..where do I start??

We are currently in court again with BM but this time she has dragged me into it by accusing me in the court docs. of parental interferance.

Little background info:
DH and I married 8 years ago and were together 2 years prior to that. His divorce was not final yet due to the "seperation/waiting period"

SS is 13

BM from the get go was after me.

DH is very laid back and non-confrontational and wants nothing to do with BM...me on the other hand...well lets just say I tried with her. For awhile we were speaking...

SS came to live with us after a phone call from DCFS. Stayed here for almost 4 years until he started lying & stealing.
SS now lives with BM. He was diagnosed ADD/ADHD with ODD and CD. Was medicated then was taken off meds. by BM & Pych. We were told that he would be fine he just needed to live with his BM by a licensed Pych. ($700.00 well spent eh?)
SS was also in counseling for over a year. Last counseler said that there was nothing more she could do for him and he was done with counseling?? :O
It has been over two years now and he is worse then ever. He now likes to steal knives.

He is destructive to others property and has even stolen from my son who is 4.
SS tells everyone that DH and I hate him and that we never do anything for him or buy him anything. (This has been comfirmed by my MIL & FIL because he told them)
SS had horrible grades and constantly gets in trouble at school and of course "school papers" always seem to disappear out of the mailbox.

We are in court right now because she wants support. DH paid her support when they first got divorced but when he got residential custody the judge told BM that she did not have to pay DH.
He had been here 4 years when he moved in with BM they (DH & BM) agreed on no support. Now, right before Christmas 2+ years later she wants support.

There is so much more...but I am shaking as it is just typing this.

Never a failure...Always a lesson