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Playing both sides of the coin

ohnoyoudidnt's picture

Submitted by ohnoyoudidnt on Mon, 03/15/2010 - 2:40pm

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General Discussion

We had a discussion with BD and SS about playing both parents.
SS is still doing it and this weekend really pissed off DH.
I actually had to tell DH to zip it when normally he tells me to zip it..lol

I think DH has had enough of BM & SS just dragging him through the dirt and is finally sticking up for himself. It has taken 11 years but DH may be surfacing to deal with all this crap.

Anyone else have this happening?? Skids playing parents against each other. How did you handle it?

Conflicted's picture

Submitted by Conflicted on Mon, 03/15/2010 - 2:47pm

I actually think this is pretty normal. Even my daughter has tried with myself and her father (my ex). Luckily, we get along very well so when my daughter would spout off about something I would look at her and say: "Oh really? Well let's call daddy and find out exactly what he said"... at which point I would get a response such as "Well maybe he didn't really say that"... Then we'd call him up anyway and let him know what she was up to! After a few times, she figured no one was falling for her stories and hasn't done it since.

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Mon, 03/15/2010 - 2:50pm

We finally realized SD was lying on her mother to us and vice versa a few years ago, maybe about 2.5.

We had warned her about her lying before and she did it again. We found out she lied again about something BM had "said" and DH gave her one of the two spankings she ever got from him in 9 years.

This worked for her because she is a total daddy's girl and she KNEW it had to be bad for him to go that far. We have not had a single problem with her trying to play both sides since then.

Also, DH and BM had to stop talking bad about each other in front of her for it to work.

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

StepChicka's picture

Submitted by StepChicka on Mon, 03/15/2010 - 3:47pm

Yeah...its normal even in "inact" families. You know where the kids say "mom said I could do it" to dad meanwhile they never asked her at all. Sneaky little buggers...lol

My SD has been caught doing something like this. She got a firm talking to by her dad and that's pretty much all it took. Now to prevent this? You may not like the solution but the real problem lies with the lack of communication between DH and BM. If they talk more about the goings on with the kids and relayed that to them the problem would be minumized.