She said WHAT?!
I took BD15 and SD4 shopping this weekend to get BD a dress for church. Found a dress and bought it. On the way to the car SD4 says “if you don’t go back and buy me a toy I will tell Daddy you punched me in the face.”
Handsome Husband talked to SD about saying such things. Later that night I saw that SD had gotten into the dough that was rising for dinner. I asked if she did it – not angry, she likes bread dough: ) – she started crying. I told her to go downstairs with Daddy while I finished dinner. To which she responded “I am going to tell my Mama you pushed and kicked me”
The problem is BM already doesn’t like me and she would believe this crap!
I had dreams of having the police at my door that night, having to defend myself against such things. I never expected something like this for SD4, we have always gotten along very well.
Needless to say I am heartbroken. How do I patch things up with a 4-year-old playing dangerous games?
Don't panic. Each of my
Don't panic. Each of my skids went through this phase, around the age of 4-6. They do want to see what they can make you do. They want to see Daddy and BM jump. As long as you and your honey talk about it calmly to her, it should be held in check. If honey and BM can communicate with some semblance of decency, honey should let BM know SD is making these threats. (If not does BM have a significant other your honey can appeal to?)
"I HAD to pick the road less traveled..."
I had the same thing when
I had the same thing when SS4 he is now 6.
We were in Mac d's he was messing about with his food, my younger sister was copying and I could see my SM getting fustrated so I took both their toys away.
He told me he was going to tell his daddy I hit him!
FH spoke to him as did his mother, but it always made me weary of him.
I dont want to be afraid in
I dont want to be afraid in my own home. I dont want to be held hostage by a pre-schooler. And yet that is exactly were we are . . .
You might want to consider
You might want to consider taking her to a psychologist or counselor for a session or two, if nothing else but for your own sake. Having documentation of SD's lies about you could be vital if BM every takes her statements seriously and calls law enforcement into it.
Not to exaggerate the issue here but this kind of manipulation is something that as she gets older can become a REAL big problem, even if it never involves the courts. She's clearly already aware of the idea of pitting one household against the other to get what she wants, which is something that tends to become a problem anyways on some level or another. Granted, it's probably just a phase she's in, but I wouldn't chance it given that the BM isn't friendly.
BM (I wont say suffers, she
BM (I wont say suffers, she seems OK with it) exhibits Antisocial personality disorder. It is nothing for her to tell someone "so-and-so tried to kill me last week". I dont know much about it but the night this happended I wondered if it was hereditary.
I pray you are both right - that this is simply a phase. SD and SS will be back this friday for the long weekend and I cant go around my own home on pins and needles.
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Creature tells her mother we
Creature tells her mother we beat her all the time. If we don't do what she wants or buy her things or if mommy promises to buy her things, she'll make up all kinds of wild stories. She's claimed we hit her in the face with a fly-swatter, we lock her in her bedroom, we spank her, we punch her in the back of the head, pinch her, choke her. Wingnut has called Child Services and her attorney and told the judge. The bottom line is, the kid has no marks on her and if you document her threats you'll be fine. I would take pictures of her before she left every week to prove she was unscathed. Also, set up a video camera in the house and try to catch her saying these things.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
I had similar problems on
I had similar problems on several occasions with my stepson (who is now 15). One of the more memorable times this happened was when I told him (in a perfectly reasonable tone of voice) that it was time to get out of the bathroom so I could drive him to his grandmother's and get myself to work. He dawdled. When he did come out of the bathroom, I asked what had taken so long. He shrugged. I explained that while he may not have anywhere to be at a particular time (this was summer vacation), I still had to be at work and his behavior was causing me to be late. He reacted calmly enough. We got in the car and I dropped him off at his grandma's house.
What followed was three hours of wailing hysterics at his grandmother's house. He insisted I'd hit him, thrown things at him, sworn at him and called him names. It literally took his grandmother three hours to calm him down.
This was not an isolated incident. Fortunately, his grandmother did not believe him (and she is the BM's mom!), and both she and his BF reasoned with him each time this happened. He was older than the child you're describing, but he did this time and again from the time he was 9 until he was about 11 or 12. Note: I was not the only person he accused thus.
When his tantrums and/or lies did not produce the desired results (i.e., my departure), he eventually gave it up. Counseling sounds like a wonderful idea, and also having the child's father continue to communicate with her reasonably and honestly.
LOL, it's not rational, but
LOL, it's not rational, but it's a funny thought!
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
that got me giggling - thanx!
that got me giggling - thanx!
Don't let her see any
Don't let her see any shocked reaction from you either.
She will "feed" off of it.
You should be very careful.
You should be very careful. BM accused my DH of domestic violence during their divorce and he was arrested. SS accused his BM of kicking him (why not, he saw his Mom falsely accuse his Father) and the police got involved. He then went on to accuse my DH on several occasions of abuse and thank god there were witnesses to support his innocence because their parenting coordinator got involved each time. The BM also exhibits anti-social behavior and I wonder every day how much of it is nature vs nurture. She would love to see DH in trouble so I feel like I live with a ticking bomb in my house. SS who is a teenager knows if he falsely accuses DH again he is not allowed to return to our home. Period. I can't live like that anymore so we'll see how it goes. Last time was October and so far so good.
I hope you have good support from your DH!