I've been looking through the boards and haven't seen anything quite like our situation - hopefully some other users can offer help. (sorry in advance for the long, complicated post!)

I'm the SM of a 6 year old, and we are currently in the process of trying to increase our parental time with him and begin overnight visits (up to this point, the BM has refused to let us ever have him overnight.) We have a good lawyer, have had an initial phone conference with the BM and her lawyer, and are planning to request a mediation session within the next week or so. We are asking for a gradual increase in overnight visits over the next 3 years, from a total of 30 nights this year to up to 90 nights per year by the time my SS is 9; their response, thus far, has been a request to keep the number of overnight visits at zero for the indefinite future.

The main complication is that the BM and her DH do not consider my husband to be my SS's "parent," especially since he has lived in another state since before my SS was born. The BM accidentally got pregnant just before my DH was about to move across the country for graduate school, after he had told her that their relationship would end when he moved. My DH turned down her suggestion that she move with him, but has paid child support (plus some additional money when needed, such as for daycare expenses) since my stepson was born in CO, and has always visited several times a year. I have also been regularly visiting (with my DH) since my stepson was 18 months old. The BM has always set the dates and length of our time with my SS, limiting them to less than half of each of our trips and forbidding overnight visits.

The other unusual aspect of this is that, while pregnant, she met a man who she later married, and who has been a father figure to my SS more or less since infancy. She did not tell my SS that his BF (my DH) was his "other dad" until he was 5, and to our knowledge my SS still does not know that her DH is his SF rather than his BF. Our decision to file in family court was triggered, in part, by an email from her DH stating that since my SS had "exactly two parents," he wanted my DH to allow him to adopt my SS. In their communication with us around the proposed changes, they have argued that by increasing our parenting time, we will be breaking up a "traditional family" and taking our SS away from his home and community, and thus not acting in our SS's best interests.

Under these circumstances, is there any chance that the mediator or the court will refuse our request for greater parental time? Does what we're requesting seem reasonable? Our lawyer has assured us that we have a good case, but any advice about how to strengthen our argument that more time with us is in our SS's best interest would be much appreciated - thanks in advance!