Accidental slip after a PAS comment towards me...
So DH and I have been co-parenting our SD4's very well for awhile now and they have never questioned me as a "mother figure". BM popped back into their lives last spring (after a year) for EOWE visits. There was some initial PAS comments (towards me) when they would return from their visits with BM but DH did a good job of stopping it before it got started (and I felt I did a good job not spouting out smart remarks).
They just spent a full week with BM and came back to us last night. I readied myself for some PAS comments so that I could bite my tongue. Especially after BM had texted DH the day before about how wonderful it was to be the mother of their children and how they had made such beautiful girls together. Granted the girls are awesome but seriously...gag! When did parenting become a "when I feel like it" game? (BTW, DH ignored the text, he thought it was weird).
Either way, this morning comes and we made plans to take the girls to the park to play. As I walked out of the room with my purse in hand, ready to go, SD4 says "you're not supposed to being going with us." Uh oh....here it came...my response, "why, because I'm not your mother!" Oops. I didn't mean to, I know she is only 4 years old :O
Does anyone else make the accidental slip up?
Unfortunately, the way she
Unfortunately, the way she meant it was that because I wasn't her "real" mother I wasn't supposed to be going to the park with her and daddy. The rest of the conversation involved DH telling me to be the ADULT while he put SD4 in timeout for being disrespectful.
Still no excuse...I feel awful!!!
We all have slipped at some
We all have slipped at some point, just don't make it a habit.
Im glad your dh handled it
Im glad your dh handled it well! I know its hard to not make comments sometimes! kids sometimes dont know that what they are saying is hurtful, its hard to remember that sometimes!
**disclaimer...this was not
**disclaimer...this was not so accidental on DH's part**
Uberskank (BM) has been unemployed for over a year, and refuses to take anything but the perfect job. Seriously, in the last four years I couldn't tell you if this woman has had more men or jobs in her life. I've lost count. Anyway, her car was repossessed (we never said a word) and she was evicted from her apartment earlier this year. They now live in section 8 housing, she is still unemployed and DH and I had been making the 3 hour round trip drive to pick up his kid for his EOWE for several months.
Suddenly one Friday Uberskank calls to confirm she can drop off DH's kid at the appointed time. She showed up late as usual but the best part was Uberskank showed up in a vehicle way, way out of her price range. We're talking a car in the BMW, Mercedes, Audi range.
We didn't say a word about the car but over dinner DH turns to his kid and says "So.....how's your mom's job hunt going these days?"
I just about spewed my water all over the table.
My stepson's mother drives a
My stepson's mother drives a fancy car, new car and she says she is a waitress. I don't believe her.
But anyway, she complains about how much she has to struggle every day. She paid child support like 3 times this year. When my husband asked her why she wasn't paying CS every month, she stated that she doesn't have money.He also asked her about that fancy car. She refused any comment. And my husband told her point blank that he was going to take her to court for more CS, she started to pay it the next day.
B****!
I've said much worse. We do
I've said much worse. We do the best we can and when we screw up, we try to do better.
I think it is ok to have
I think it is ok to have things like this out in the open. SD will maybe think twice about challenging you if she knows you will come back with logic.
I know she is only 4 but the earlier you start your normal expectations of her, the better off SD will be.
I have suffered a lot of these issues with my SD19 to some satisfaction although we are not BFFs. I have known her 10 years now, just to give perspective. I wish I could have gotten to her earlier!
Wow I am so glad you said
Wow I am so glad you said that though - it was really rude for either one of them to say what they did too! now your SD knows, words can hurt and they are not the only ones who can say things, maybe you have just chosen to be polite like they should.
??? Meesh, I thought you
??? Meesh, I thought you were female.
Hi there could I reference
Hi there could I reference some of the insight from this entry if I provide a link back to your site?
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I have learned to be very
I have learned to be very careful about what I say in front of SD17. She worships at the altar of her perfect bio-daddy, and "reports" any potentially disparaging comments to him. Her daddy has a big chip on his shoulder, and is apparently very "senstative" as he has sued us for for contempt for supposedly "derogatory comments" we made about him. He had to eat his own shit on that one, and admit in open court that his case was without merit, but it still cost me 3K in legal fees. I don't bite my tongue out of any consideration for that hateful, mean-spirited asshole - I do it to save money. I could care less what he, or SD17, thinks.
It happens, hell I've done it
It happens, hell I've done it to SO.
Last night we are watching a new movie. He had planned to take skids to see it. I already knew it would be inappropriate sexually for them so I would not have gone with them. Alas though, just me and SO and what does he say "glad I didn't bring the kids to this one". the words popped before I thought, "You'll be taking them see it anyway".
oops.
just stupid that he pretends that he would monitor their movie watching. He never has.