So happy to have found this site and to be able to share with thsoe experiencing much the same as myself! My complaint is about my 26 year old stepson. I raised him from 5 years old, bio mom did not have custody or live near. He calls me mom and I have raised him as my own. What a difficult little devil though!

Our biggest issues came once he turned 18 and still living at home. He was considered legal age and was dating a minor. I saw from notes and cards his gf had been giving him that the relationship was sexual. Husband asked him if birth control was being used and he denied they were involved.

I didn't have a good feel for the girl and didn't want rape charges filed if she turned up pg so I called the mother of the gf and told her that I found the cards and notes and asked if her daughter was using somekind fo birth control method. The mom said her daughter was on the pill but that she wasn't active. Next thing we know the gf got kicked out of her mom's place (16), I'm thinking the truth came out. Stepson is explosive and blaming this all on me, thinking I had no right to make this call.

GF then gives stepson a porn mag, rules of the house is there is to be no porn. Husband wants me to just let it go. What? No! I tear all the pages out of the magazine that I felt were inappropriate and left it on ss's desk. Furious, he says he has the right to have this, it was a gift from gf. His dad tells him to leave the porn in his car. What? Again, anger pointed at me. I told him as long as he lives in our house he will follow the rulkes of our house and that porn is not allowed.

GF emails me complaining about SS. I tell her she deserves to be treated better and that she really needed to look at her sitaution. SS calls me up, tells me he's coming home, he wants to talk to me. I call his dad and told him to get home as soon as possible, SS was mad. He walks in the door with avengence, throws this stack of papers in my face and says, "what the hell do you think you are doing?" Husband sat there without a word and let his son berate me. There was a huge verbal confrontation between SS and I.

This kid ransacked my dresser drawers, he stuck pubic hair in my tooth brush, he poured something sticky all over my car, he pulled up new plants I had planted so they woudl die. I was fearful what he might try.

That was it for me, went to an attorney who told me SS needed to leave. I told my husband it was me or SS leaving, his choice. He asked SS to move out.

SS, nearly 19 then, tells his dad this elabortae story how he found this apartment, where it was located, everything. Funny he wasn't taking all his stuff that direction so his dad followed him without him knowing and saw that he was moving his stuff into his gf's house. Husband confronts, tells him that he is hurting his relationship with us with his lies.

We don't see him for a long time, like 4-5 years. Slowly he had contact with his dad and then he emails me, calling me by my first name, something he has never done before. We get into that,he tells his dad that he is an adult and on & on I then don't hear from him again.

Husband's dad calls one day asking us if we were attending SS wedding which was the next week, we knew nothing about it. SS and finance lived in Germany (military) and we lived 2 hours from bio mom in the states. The plan was the kids were going to get married in bio mom's town.

Husband calls SS.....SS says he didn't think his mom would allow us in her house and that's why we weren't invited. Husband puts up a stink and goes himself. Again we here nothing for a long time.

DIL then starts contacting me once she was pg, I had not met her at this point. Our emails were good but I was being very careful. I asked her if her mother was going to be present when the baby was born and she let me know she was. I asked SS what the due date was and his reply was, "August." So I let her know of the Aug babies we have in the family and asked for a date, we were not given a date.

The 3rd week in Aug I email to see if the baby had been born yet. I get this awful email back saying how I was the grandma, why wasn't I there, on & on, the baby had been born a week ago. They never called to let us know and this was my fault? I was so confused.

SS went to Iraq and seemed to have come back a new man and was so greatful for everything when he first got back. said all these nice things to me and how I had been a positve role model in hsi life, we met his wife and the baby, things seemed to be going okay.

This is now a year after the baby was born, and I contact her to see if there was someway we could celebrate her b.day, they live an hour away. (we are now in Germany)The plan was a party midweek but that wasn't possible for us to attend so i asked if we could do something on the weekend. She tells bio mom is flying in and so they decided to have the party when she got here.

Oow, oow, oow things have never been good with her. She tried to alienate us from stepsons, very ugly. I lost it, my fault here I know I should have just stepped back and remained calm but I had finally reached the end of my rope with all this garbage, years and years I have taken this. I wrote her back and said, "HELL NO! pardon my french but there a long history and I will not go there." Her reply was nice, she didn't udnerstand. SS starts with his attacks.

I told my husband I am done, I cannot do this anymore. I do not want DIL and gradn daughter to be put in the middle and pay for the trouble with ex nor do I want ss to have nothing to do with his mother. What I am done with is how SS thinks he can treat me with such disrespect and husband wants me to continually let everything go.

I sent grand daughter books which was something the kids wanted for her to have. Now, I step back, way back.