DH Lied Right to My Face
Long story short - SS18 is a HUGE slob. Our laundry room floor is covered in his dirty clothes like a huge carpet. DADDY does the laundry for sonny boy due to his need to hang out with buddies and play video games. Hell, he shouldn't have to do his own laundry...DH ONLY works 3rd shift and is gone all the time. Why should sonny boy have to take care of his mess?? He lives in a basement bedroom that looks like shit the bigger part of the time. His friends can use up almost every last dish we have and it's left downstairs for a week at a time only to be brought upstairs and all of it dumped...FILTHY. As to which, DH cleans it up for him.
Why?? Because I freaking REFUSE to be a maid to my husband's son.
Now...
SD had a dog that had puppies..this dog was NOT allowed to come into our home due to pissing in every corner of our home and our home stunk horribly. DH said daughter was welcome but not the dog. Got in huge fights with her over it too.
Flash forward to last night - I get off work and sit out back with DH who has to go to work in an hour or 2. My daughter yells out the back window "What's that dog doing in the basement?" My DH's face turns every shade of red and I ask him what is going on. He says his daughter is in town and running an errand..and this is one of the pups of the dog that pees everywhere. I ask him what it's doing here and 'surely it's not staying here..it's just visiting due to her visiting....RIGHT?' After all the bitching and moaning he does about the pissing dogs...better be.
As to which he nods yes.
I remind him how the dogs pee over every thing...we are ALL gone from the house and we hardly have time to take care of our own dog let alone another.
I ask him again..is the dog just visiting?
Yes he answered.
I tell him then there is no way in HELL that dog is staying in our home..no way. Reminded him of the fights he had with SD over it. His face turns crimson red and he looks like he's going to vomit. He then gets out his phone and begins texting. A neighbor comes over to visit so I take my attention away from him.
He proceeds to get into a texting conversation that lasts for over an hour.
I could pretty much guess it was his daughter. He was acting like he had been kicked in the teeth and I could tell it was getting heated.
So I point blank asked him "Did you tell your son he could keep that dog?"
He looked me straight in the face and told me "NO". Adamantly.
The texting went on for a while, then he had to leave for work.
SD and her brother got home...I instantly get jumped over this dog. How dare I not like this dog..SS deserves a dog and he really wants it. "DADDY" said it was okay and the dog 'had already been paid for'. They went on to tell them how my DH had been telling them thru the text conversation that I was very against the dog staying...I was put in such a corner I felt like a piece of shit.
This dog has been purchased to live in my home. If my daughter had not heard the dog whining on my basement steps with the door closed I wouldn't have known the dog was here until my DH left and the SKs came back home. DH lied right to my face and then turned me into the wicked witch of the west in his text conversations. His kids were in disbelief that DADDY said it was okay and now I was fighting it.
SS cannot even clean up after himself..what in the hell is he going to do with a pissing puppy that makes the type messes it does?
I am so livid with my DH I had hardly slept. The man lied right to my face - his daughter and son have a way of getting anything they want..ANYTHING. But is it worth lying to me about it? Seriously?? Over a dog?
He states that his biggest complaint is that his ex lied to him all the time...and that he never lies.
What do you call what he did? Just hiding the truth? Then leaves for work for me to get jumped by his kids? Didn't have the balls to tell me what's going on...FOR REAL...lies to me about the whole thing then leaves me to deal with the mess.
I texted him in HUGE letters thanks for blaming me for the dog and thanks for lying to me...pretty much told him to shove the dog up his ass.
SS cannot clean up after himself...so he whines and cries and gets an expensive dog - probably because SD is so convincing...I can just hear his excuse..she backed him in a corner and he couldn't say no.
I'm his wife..he'd rather lie to me than tell his daughter no??
Amazing....am I overthinking this?? Or would anyone else be pissed that their DH had no balls to speak of in this situation..with any of us? His daughter..son..ME...just let the whole thing play out and left.
That is incredible
That is incredible disrespect. You should have been consulted before a decision was made. And to set it up, you against them--bad move dumbass DH! I guess DH is going to have more chores, huh?
My SD (before the divorce) snuck a puppy into the house. DH didn't want it but ended up training it, taking him for walks, etc. The only one who did. Then during the divorce, BM wouldn't let him take him. Maybe if that cow walked him, she'd lose a few. You should see him when we visit. He LOVES us.
I would totally pissed off.
I would totally pissed off. What the hell is wrong with these men. You know, my husband argues with me about crap, but when it comes to kids, it's like, "why? they don't listen anyway? i'm wasting my breath with them." He could be such a spineless idiot with them. I always tell him, "you have the balls to fight with me, but you can't discipline your kids? what the hell?"
The lying is crap!!! I'd give them a week to find the innocent pup a place, then I'd take it to the shelter. My SD came to live with us and I wasn't even asked if her dog can come == the stupid dog just came along. Now guess who takes care of it == me, of course. SD doesn't take it out, feed, bath, play or do anything with the dog. Sometimes I fantasize of poisoning the damned thing, but I believe in karma; and it's not the dog's fault.
There are two issues here
There are two issues here that would both tick me off terribly. The lying, of course. That has been brought up already.
But how about changing YOUR living arrangements (not just his but YOURS too!) without your knowledge or consent?
How about if you go and get a kitten without running it by your hubby first? How about you go adopt a child without talking to your hubby first??
It is blatant disrespect for you.
Option #1-He allowed this
Option #1-He allowed this puppy to brought into the house without your consent, I would find the puppy a new home (with a more attentive owner) and happily deliver the puppyto new owner without his consent...
Option#2-Either the puppy leaves alone or the puppy leaves WITH the SS...either way...the puppy is out of the house!
I was going to suggest option
I was going to suggest option 2. Kick the adult slob and his dog out.
The back gate was left open
The back gate was left open misteriously :? I wonder how that happened }:)
Yeah, as much as that sounds
Yeah, as much as that sounds tempting, please don't punish the puppy........take him to a shelter or animal rescue group where he has a chance at a decent home.
The son, on the other hand, should be shown the door.......
I hate to say this, but I
I hate to say this, but I would consider dumping his ass, for that crap!! sorry dear - hugs-!!!!
So, are the dogs still in the
So, are the dogs still in the basement? Have any of them found their way out?
That's nuts... And all over
That's nuts... And all over just a dog! One statement in your blurb struck me though... You asked if DH would rather lie to you then tell his daughter no... The answer is absolutely yes. We may be the wives, but they will always be the daughters therefore whatever they want will always take precedence over our feelings, our opinions, or what we would like to see happen. It's a constant backseat and one that we as wives of men with daughters have to get used to...
There should be a happy medium but there doesn't seem to be...
You have a right to be upset though... yes, the dog is a problem in itself to you, but I would be more upset about the lie. My DH has lied straight to my face too and that overshadowed anything wrong that he did to lead up to that lie.
And men wonder why we women don't always trust them!!!!!
How the hell is she going to
How the hell is she going to get him to do all that when he can't even parent his own damn spawn?
You have a very good point though - he so put her in the impossible position of being "the bitch dad married". I hadn't even looked at it like that. What a horrible state of affairs. And he's a liar to boot!
Let SS18 keep the dog, but kick them BOTH out. Give him a deadline on paying rent or vacating.
Hi all! Sorry I haven't made
Hi all!
Sorry I haven't made it back until today but I wanted to update you all on the dog situation.
As usual....this was the doing of my 19yo SD's lies.
My DH and I got into a huge discussion of this mess..after he had left and I found out his kids were blaming me...I sent him a NASTY text due to him not being able to get phone calls at work so I knew he'd see it when he checked his phone about 2 am.
Sure enough he got it...he called me when he got off and was on his way home and loudly told me he did NOT tell his daughter that he told her it was me that was not wanting this dog. Then forwarded me all the texts that took place between them the night before from our backyard before he left me to go to work.
NONE of those texts had my name in them..none of them. His MANY texts to his daughter were saying NO she could not leave this dog here and that he was NOT going to have a kennel here. She was doing everything to get him to change his mind, as to which he was not. She was not having it and kept demanding that her brother be allowed to have this dog. All his texts pointed out that his son was a HUGE SLOB and couldn't clean up after himself let alone a dog and he was not listening to it.
He then proceeded to call his daughter up and chew her ass for starting this with me..she told him it was her BROTHER who blamed me...which was not true and I had 6 people standing in my kitchen who heard the whole entire ridiculous conversation. Said she wouldn't say that about me..he was floored...they really got upset with one another and I honestly could tell DH was totally disgusted with his daughter...CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
His daughter then said if all she is going to do is get yelled at she was going to stop coming down here....???? Okay....see ya! is what I told him. If she didn't start this shit...then she wouldn't be called to the carpet so much.
Her own brother said she was the one that told it..I told him she was blaming him and he was speechless. She lives about an hour and a half away so the dog is going back this week. We are NOT keeping it and it's not even an argument anymore.
I am so upset with her that she can start such turmoil and we're all stupid enough to dive right into it with her. With her track record...what the hell was the matter with me for believing her and attacking my husband? Why did I feel he had hung me out to dry over her lying mouth?
DH is acting somewhat different now..says he is at a loss as to what to do with her. She's caused 2 different very bad situations with me over the past 3 weeks..neither being fun nor at all amusing. All she wanted was a reaction and she sure as shit got it. It's like she's proud of herself for this shit.
She's ready to have her baby too and I would love to just have someone send me a picture of her in the hospital bed so I can see that it's happening..then see the baby at a later time. I am so tired of her bullshit.....
DH should have dealt with this BRAT a LONG time ago....seriously...
Funny, my counsellor said the
Funny, my counsellor said the same thing about my DH last week - that he should have dealt with the situation a long time ago - said it sounds like he may be making an effort now, but it is too late. Well, better late than never. So glad that DH is on your side in this.
Good to hear that it wasn't
Good to hear that it wasn't your husband that was playing both sides. I do hope all was addressed with Skids. It's awful what lies kids tell in an attempt to get their way with the parent.
maybe i missed where the SS
maybe i missed where the SS and SD pay the mortgage and bills for your home. maybe i missed where they were the responsible parties for you and DH.
WOW! SD and SS and the dog would be out. Period.
i would have flipped if they came to me and tried to give me the "business" about a dog. Please!
First ... take the dog to the
First ... take the dog to the pound .... NOW!
Second ... Don't get so pissed at your DH yet. Keep in mind that it is your lying, manipulative, worthless POS Skids that told yout "Daddy said SS could keep it".
He might not have told them that at all.
If all else fails .... I hear dog is a delicacy in some countries.
Best regards,
My husband would do things
My husband would do things much like your husband just did with the dog, not out and out lies but he would blame me to my SSs and make me into the big baddy. It's not healthy and when I would catch husband doing this I confronted every situation and pointed out to him that he was aiding to the direspect and feeling that they do not have to listen to me. He did not get it for the longest time. I think he was trying to make his kids happy but what he realized in the end is that it damaged our relationship and the boys became very angry with me. The boys felt they could say anything they wanted to me and complain to their dad, this continued for years. The boys were getting involved in siatuation concerning my bios and finally my husband saw the lies. Unfortunately it was way after the damage had been done. He supports me now but we now have no relationship with either boy. Your husband has to get on the same page, and you have to present a united front, he cannot pass blame to you.