It's been a ride but I think I am finally putting my 21 years as a stepmom to rest. Everyone's posts here so helped me to realize so much about myself and the situation I have been in.....the sense of obligation, the desire to treat everyone equally and overlook more than I should, trying to forgive and forget time and time again, always trying to be the gentle force behind my husband while not being heard and wanting to please him by being with his monster children even when I did not want to be. The non-stop issues of a bio mom who was not present but wanted to try and intimidate me and make me look like nothing so she could wear the badge of mom eventhough I was raising her children. The stares and the evil looks, papers thrown in my face, being cursed by stepsons who were as unruly as the Devil's children themselves, being told I was hated and they wanted me dead.

It was too much but I never stopped trying, trying to make a family out of two broken families. Always thinking that somehow everything I was enduring would one day be worth it. Ending up on anti-depresants, in counseling, using food and alcohol to take away the pain only to see my own sanity tetering on the edge.

Many say that people treat you the way you let them. Well, I kept fighting....fighting for what I believed was right, not understanding those who felt it was okay to look at life as "anything goes" and "all is forgivable by God." So that means we are not to try? Gee, let's hide our heads in the sand!

For me it took getting to a very low point where my daughters had been violated and others wanted to act like it never happened and just sweep everything under the rug. I finally got a back-bone like never before. No longer was I trying to get along. I saw these poeple as weak, evil and only focused on themselves, lacking compassion and understanding for what I had been thru, what my daughters had endured and I felt nothing but pure hatred for these people. I realized these weren't my friends, they weren't there to support me like I was for them and no relationship lasts that's not mutual.

In my mind I took this big black marker and I drew a mental line (boundary) that I knew I would never let them cross again. I told my husband that I would have nothing more to do with his family (sisters), and I gave his sons one more chance with a warning from me to husband that I saw nothing resolved and when the boys started popping off with their disrespectful comments towards me I would draw that boundary line for them as well.

Needless to say that day came and I was finally able to release the boys without guilt or feeling of obligation to them anymore. I feel I have actually freed myself from a very evil presence in my life, almost like cutting cancer off my side.

I feel now I am finally moving on for me!