My Skids are casuing problems
This is the second marriage for both my husband and I. I have 3 kids (s13, d10, s7) from my first, and he has 4 (d13, d12, d12, s 11)from his. For the first few years of our relationship and marriage we shared joint custody of all kids with their bio parents. We worked out our arrangements as to have all the kids at the same time so we would always be together doing things as a family unit. My skids bio mom passed away about 3 years ago, and my skids now live with us full time. I still share custody of my bkids so they are not at our home full time...and that's where the problems start. Even though my husband moved into MY house, and his kids into the rooms with my kids, the skids now see this as their house, and have even started mistreating my kids when they come home from visiting bio dad. Trying to kick them out of "their" bedrooms. My husband and I have had too many arguments to count. I have moved all the skids into 1 room since they don't want to share when my kids come home. I have had to take the doors off to prevent the slamming. The kids have become increasingly disrespectful towards me and to my husband. My husband has been hospitalized twice in the past month because of nervous break downs caused by his kids. Before being released from the hospital after the last epsiode, the doctor thought it would be best for my husband to rent a room rather than come home. He comes after work and stays until the kids are put to bed. I HATE this arrangement. I now feel like I've lost my husband and have become a single mom to 7. This is not what I signed up for when we married. They caused so much heartache and headache in our marriage, and now i'm stuck with them, and no marriage?!?! What should I do?
I'm sorry, I should've stated
I'm sorry, I should've stated that we all go to counseling and have for a long time. We each go individually, as well as 1 family session a week. During these sessions the kids don't say anything more than "yes or no".
His doctor did not recommend he leave just during the night time, he didn't want him coming back at all. My husband doesn't want me to have to be the sole parent so he does come after work to help out.
There is a WHOLE lot I left out, just too many things to type. Sorry
You and DH need to get on the
You and DH need to get on the same page - meaning NO MISTREATING OF YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR HOME!!!
The SK's need to be set in their place and knocked down a few notches. They are begining the process of being spoiled brats!!!
You and DH need to make a plan, respect plan AND PUNISHMENT for ALL the kids and stick with it.
DH needs to either be on medication, go through counseling and/or both. He also needs to get his head out of his ass and realize that those 4 brats are HIS and he needs to step up and parent them.
I had a rules board at one
I had a rules board at one time, and defintely see why I need to go back to it. It got to the point where if the rule wasn't posted, they would try to get away with it (and by they, I mean ALL kids- bio included).
I understand the kids are extremely upset about their mothers passing, but I don't see that as a right to get away with being disrespectful either. And they do try to use that as an excuse too. I have to remind them that if their mom was still here, she wouldn't approve of this behavior either.
And, yes, TxAxNxDx!!!
oh this sounds so sad.Im sry
oh this sounds so sad.Im sry ur goin threw this.i couldnt even know.But def the poor skids sound hurt and ur H sounds def very overwelmed.Such a hard burden to hold.The skids def need counceling.To adress the their issues of regressions.N u n ur H def need to discuss the whole respect on the sharing getting a long thing.N good times n in bad my dear.After every great storm there is Sunshine.hang n there N. N JST TRY UR BEST TO BE PACIENT..in understanding. But with still having ur bio kids back 2.All the kids seem old eniouf to understand right from wrong. There jst seems to be alot of hurt and hate right now.Try ur best to get that control back.
I understand where you are
I understand where you are coming from you shouldn;t have to raise his kids at all. You and dh NEED to put up a rules board and when a rule is broken they can see what their punishment is period. This is not fair to you or his kids or your kids. I just wouldn;t put up with at all. I would have put them in their place a long time ago. I would tell my dh that if he won;t do anything then I will. This is ridiculous.
I understand they lost their mom but that doens;t give them the right to treat people the way they are.