SD will be the demise of my marriage
When does the drama end? I have a SD who is so vicious and cruel to everyone in the house. We have 5 kids at home, 3 are mine, and we have provided a home for another teen. The SD is BF crazy and her whole world evolves around him. She wants to go back to TX and live with him. She is making our life h*ll. She is so hateful. She blatantly told dad that she WILL call him anytime she wants too and use the comp when she wants too to contact him. Told dad he does not know how to parent girls. Technically he is not bio dad. has raised her since 2 but he considers her his own. Mom died 2 yrs ago. We took her in hoping to give her a solid home, look what happens. Its such a long story and so much drama. Im ready to take my kids and go.
Get her evaluated. I didn't
Get her evaluated. I didn't know DH when his D was a teen, but looking back, I believe she may have teen bi--polar or at the least a personality disorder. You need serious professional help when someone is that out of control. How old is she?
She just turned 16 in Sept.
She just turned 16 in Sept. WE did counseling for the death of her mom. She just laughs off everything to hide her true feelings. She has now told her dad she is in counseling at school, she did that all on her own, after her and dad got into a big fight at home. She initially went to the counselor so she could find out how to get into foster care??? really? Apparently the counselor told her that wont happen. Now we are at odds today because I am not going to sit down at the table and discuss all of this with everyone here. Im the bad guy because I dont want to hear what she has to say. The sad thing is, I dont feel any bad or guilty feelings for how I feel. Isnt that terrible? All around rotten day. She wins tho!!
Can't she live with someone
Can't she live with someone else? I know he feels an obligation to her, but you are sacrificing many to save one. Seems unfair to everyone else in the house. My SD14 was the same way. She made everyone miserable. When we got served with the modification to live with her mom, I was grateful. Upset for my husband, but glad for the other kids. She was sucking the energy out of the house. I suspect she is bi-polar although no one wanted to discuss it. Dh's mom is and she never went on meds...she hated them, so they are in denial about SD.
I would have her evaluated and if not, then she needs to go live somewhere else since it is obviously not working at your house.
Can Dad just let go as
Can Dad just let go as suggested above?
Sometime when given the freedom to act the whole point of rebellion disappears. And there is a good chance she'll want to come back so a concerted effort to make sure she is birth control prepared before she goes is horribly important.
Also once she sees you all are serious about sending her off with all this information about how adults have to handle sex she may not want to go and if she does then you've done the best you can.
And that's my important point, you do everything you can to see that she has the knowledge she'll need when she leaves and there there is nothing more you can do. Your hands and conscious are clean.