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tefferteff's picture

So Hi everyone, I'm on here for the first time becasue well I'm desperate for help and I'm just looking for peoples opinions and help on how to get through this tough time.

Me my Sister, Brother Mum and Dad lived in England, my mum would always be on Facebook talking to friends and mates she knew back in high school, she would just be on it all the time but we never though much of it.

We emigrated to Australia, the whole family, it was a very exciting time for us all but a big change as me and my sis were 16, 17 and moving at that age was a big deal, leaving friends, boyfriends it was scary. So we moved to Australia where I live now and although I love it here, the family relationship is breaking up and falling apart.

Moving here, and moving in our new house, I was unpacking some boxes and came across box full of e-mails, i looked at one of many and it was an e-mail my mum had kept from a guy she knew at school, it was clear to me my mum had made a new love interest with this guy she'd always be taling to on the computer, and yes he lived in Australia. I just thought how could she do this, how could she bring her whole family over and my dad and do this too us all. Three years on I noticed another e-mail and this was from another guy, another guy she knew from school and yes again she had made another new love interest. My mum would go on mysterious holidays away to New york and Korea I was with thes guys seperatly). I don't know why I never told my dad, I was just too scared to bring my self to it, and I don't know how he could of been so nieve but my mum is good at lieing and would say she was away with mates. So when I saw this e-mail from a new love interest i came to learn she was with both men she befriended on the internet. I finally pukkered up the courage and told my dad what my mum was up to. And ofcourse my dad was broken and well still is.

After so many many arguments between the both of them, my mum is trying to cinvince my dad it's all his fault she went to find new love, accoring to her he was a bad husband, she would bring up arguments from near 30 years ago (apparently my dad called her fat) and still be as angry about it as she felt that day. It's craziness to me but, you have to get over things, ofcourse over 30 years couples will say things to one another that will hurt. But she won't dropp it. She is completely depressed and cries if anyone gives their opinion about anything. She will shout and scream at you but you can't shout back because she'll just cry and get so down, I do genuinely feel she needs help. Shes just the most craziest none crazy person ever <

bayers44's picture

I know that it is easy to take your Dad's side in this because your Mum is the one that cheated. And I wouldn't blame you. I only caution you that it does take 2 to make a marriage work. Right now I am having a ton of marriage problems myself. And anyone reading my posts would think that it is all his fault - which I believe that MOST of it is. But not all. In regards to him calling her fat??? Coming from a woman who is overweight...that is one thing that is extremely hard to get over. EVEN 30 years later. It is so much easier to say "get over it" then to actually get over it, especially if the spouse has done nothing to help you "get over it". Or if your spouse continues to make you feel that way.

I do not agree with cheating AT ALL - if you are so unhappy that you have to cheat then LEAVE. But try and remember that she is your mum, and tomorrow she will still be your mum. She has hurt you and your family, but over the years she has probably been hurt too.