So he has primary custody of ss and gives into bms demands? Seriously? Wow that is sad and I feel bad for you. He needs to definitely start buckling down on ss or he is going to start running the show after he figures out your bf will let him get away with anything! How often does bm see ss? Your bf needs to start setting boundaries. What is he scared of bm for? He has primary custody and bm is unfit to raise ss primarily, then I dont see him losing custody anytime soon. I can see why you would be ashamed of him, seeing him let himself getting walked all over is definitely not a turn on. Some thing needs to change soon and fast before you lose all respect for him.

Mine is a whimp too....BM and SS17 control our house. I posted this a million times...BM dumped Stink on full time almost a year ago (2/6/11...it will be exactly ONE year....I remember it clearly my life got ruined that day). DH pays BM full CS, because it is cheaper than going back to court. IMO DH has the upper hand, because SHE has broken the CO...but he still won't say a single word to her. Like you I am the one that does (or did ) for the kid but I am the bad guy. Mine too never sticks up for himself or me...but gets pissed when I say something. I want to smack him.

I think they are whimps because of guilt?

Mine is the biggest freakin whimp! He has the girls 60/40 (meaning we get them for the 60% of the time and he pays full support. Among everything else because he can't say no. I don't understand because when I first met him over two years ago he always acted like he didn't put up with his Ex's demands. Surprise to me. We only live a half mile from her which is even more joyous. Yet he gets on me about my EX. Ummmm hello....I don't cater to my EX and my EX doesn't cater to me. BM's favorite reply when it comes to the kids is "whatever." How mature. But SO seems to thinks he needs to tell me her response to something positive. Here is a great example:

SO to BM: I am stuck in traffic but I will get the girls as soon as possible.
BM to SO: WHATEVER.

SO to Me: She said no problme she completely understands.

I end up seeing the texts that go back and forth so I don't know why he feels the need to lie to me.

That's just plain odd. I guess I could be called a wimp, but my ex is such an idiot that I don't bother explaining crap to her anymore. I've also given up on any expectations that I have of her - as long as my kids aren't in danger. She is the primary custodial, and she loves to violate the first right of refusal when it comes to taking the kids when she is going somewhere.

In fact she's out of town right now and she has her sister staying with my kids. Without even asking me. I'm logging all of these types of events as 12/11/2011 is going to be 2 years and at that time, I can sue for custody.

I also have a DH that I thought of as a wimp. I have been with him for 9 years and it took 9 years for him to step up to the plate.

If I wouldn't have put in 9 years to this relationship, then I would have left, I should have left a long time ago. But BM was out of the picture until a year ago and DH's true wimpiness did not show until she showed back up. And by that time I fell in love with him and his kids.

I did see hints of his hidden wimpiness prior to this past year but it wasn't enough to raise the red flag.

If I had seen sooner, I hope I would have had the sense to leave. To avoid the heartache he is causing. I am not a quitter, but I believe that there are so many good men out there that we do not need to be with a wimp.

Truly take a look at what you have and believe in yourself. If the person you are with is who you want to spend the rest of your life with then buckle down and tell him how you feel otherwise pack up and leave. You deserve to have the life you want!

Oh dear... I'm laughing at the similarities, but at the same time I'm shaking my head because I totally understand. DH will agree to whatever his ex asks because he just doesn't want her to make a big scene. She is the type that will call the police at the slightest provocation. She has called child services on us once already and we have a file on record that will always haunt us. He gives into all her demands, even when it inconveniences us. And he never consults me about anything. We've been married for over a year now, dating for two before that, but she still has control of him even tho he denies it. He wants to keep the peace, but doesn't realize that I am the current wife and it's me he should be thinking of first and if she's not happy, who cares? She never was happy when they were married and nothing he ever did was good enough, so why is he so concerned about how she'll react when he says no to her???

So read my new signature (which Crayon so generously donated for my use) I think it answers your question perfectly.

Like Daisy Duke's signature. So so true.

i don't understand this whole whimpering to BM's wants... My SO doe the same thing. That woman is totally USELESS... the only thing she seems to be good at is finding men to sleep with her and to buy her airtime for her mobile phone, and shoes. She's really pretty, so she's trading on that for as long as she can (shich she maybe should, cos she hasn't even finished high school).

Anyway, enough about her.. LOL! My SO is a doormat for any woman who bears significance in his life. he's bought a house, but his mom lives in it - even before he moved in with me, he set it up in such way that it's HER house, and he lives there LOL!!! Then here's the cherry on the top... before I met him, his mom decided she does not want to work anymore (she's now 55), so he not only pays the mortgage on his house, but he maintains her completely, buys groceries and every other thing, up to her toileteries.

now BM has a field day too. FSS7 is a very needy child. he NEEDS so many things that daddy buys and we NEVER see it again when he goes home to his mom. BM will text SO to tell him how useles he is as a father for not buying his a new Playstation game, and guess what, my wimpy SO jumps and buys it!

I laugh at the idiocity of it all. He has spread himself sooooo thin that he cannot AFFORD to even buy himself clothes. i find it sad that he's okay with this. He's now going to take on another job because our child is going to be born in May. Whilst i can offord to raise our child with my income, I won't. Let him run himself tired till he is forced to make some changes. if you wanna be a wimp, then you must pay the price for it.