Jealous of my step-son?
I know it's kind of sad, and I shouldn't be jealous at all, but I am. I've been married to my husband for a little over 10 months and have also been the stepmother to his little boy, who is 4. I love his child, don't get me wrong, but I get so jealous of him sometimes.
During the time of my marriage to my husband, I've had three miscarriages and have been struggling to carry a child of my own. That's a very frustrating situation all by itself. But it kind of irks me that he has a child with another woman but can't have one with me. Is that bad?
Also, my husband gives every ounce of his attention to his son, but none to me. I understand that his child is important, but I don't get ANY time with my husband at all. In my eyes, it's kind of like my husband's rubbing his child in my face. I know it's just that I see everything different after my miscarriages, but it hurts.
On top of all that, my step son doesn't ever listen to me. For example, I'm always telling him not to run in the house (literally 50 times a day) and he acts like he doesn't have to listen to me (and he's even said that a few times too). It's ridiculous.
So what should I do? And is it wrong of me to be jealous of my step son?
3 miscarriages in 10 months?
3 miscarriages in 10 months? You need to give your body time to recover before trying again.
Is your DH the custodial parent, or does your SS4 see his mother? Surely the DH can't give 100% of his attention to the boy 100% of the time.
4year old boys run. That's a fact of life. He should listen yes, but he also needs time and space to be a 4 year old boy. Is this the only problem? Running?
It's normal to be jealous, but it's not the boys fault he was born, and it's not his fault you haven't yet been able to conceive. Go easy on him.
I am so sorry for your
I am so sorry for your losses. That is very difficult. Those occurrences alone are stressful. Your DH needs to demonstrate to his son that you are an authority. If he doesn't, and is permissive like mine, well you might have to consider alternative solutions.
I'm sorry to hear of you
I'm sorry to hear of you losses that in itself is a lot to handle! Jealousy is a big thing and will never go away! It is normal and everyone feels this way; I just think it's more obvious when it's not yours.......example:
My bd12 can hang with dad (but she is also acknowledging other people too) and I don't care
SD14 hangs with dad (also address only dad in the house; doesn't even say hello to anyone else!) and it drives me crazy!!
Certain things rub people the wrong way; When he is with his son take this at YOU time; go for a walk, paint your nails, hell - go shopping.
I hope this helps a little; but I will say - pick your battles! Not everything has to be an arguement. and yes little boys do RUN - but if you believe it - stand by it!! Have a good day