My husband just left for the military and the BM filed the day he left for more child support. She thinks if he is not there she will get her way! I am his POA and plan on attending this hearing. Is this allowed??
I dont know where you live but in NY, i went back to take my x for more child support and the judge said that "maybe if i didnt have her in so many sports than i would have enough child support to support her". so i didnt get an increase and he hasent paid since february.
I would go and represent him since he isnt here.
Good Luck
Sonomama...how many sports DO you have her in by the way? What kind of costs are those? Personally if I'm struggling financially those are things to cut back on...that said not sure how much you receive so couldn't say.
not alot,, dance which is 10$ every saturday,,,, but her shoes were 20 for ballet and 20 for tap... costume for recital was 60 and little cute tu tu for dance is 20. She did swimming which was 120 for 8 weeks, soccer was 80$ not including cleats, shin guards, soccer ball and gloves, CCD was 130, and she does girl scouts the dues was 30 and than her vest with the start up patches was 20. it all adds up: if he dosent want to help me pay he cant come to any events.
If BD doesn't help you pay for activities you put your BD in, he can't come and see her? I don't think that's very fair at all to your daughter. My BD is in cheer and XH doesn't help me pay for any of it ($1500/yr just for high school cheer!) but I'd never, ever tell him he can't come see her cheer - that's taking something away from my BD. It just seems to me more harmful to your BD to keep Dad out of the picture like that. I totally understand the constraint of paying for everything yourself, but when you choose to enroll her in the activities aren't you choosing to pay for it, as well?
Military parents get screwed regularly when they are unable to show up for court. My FDH has to pay *half* his income in CS because his chain of command would not allow him time off for the court hearing. He tried to file the Service Members Civil Relief Act (used to be Soldiers and Sailors Act), but it only covers some specific instances for not having to make a physical appearance in front of a judge. Since it does not technically cover family court, it's at the judge's discretion whether or not to honor the request.The judge in his case chose not to, and yes, BM got *everything* she asked for.
It's good you have POA, and yes, you should try to use it, just keep in mind that no one is obliged to honor a POA (found this out when my own SM was dying and I needed to take over their household finances) and the judge may choose not to.
There is good-ish news in out circumstance, though. When DH went back to his chain of command and explained to them what happened (they were all *CONVINCED* the SMCRA applied to all cases of law), they have allowed him time off for every single mediation and court date since. June 2, there's a hearing to change the custody agreement and child support amount, so hopefully all goes well.
Good luck to you; your spouse is fortunate to have someone he trusts who cares enough to do this for him.
I do not know about your state, but in mine, regardless of POA you may not represent him in court. An attorney can, just as an attorney may ask for continuance or conduct a trial by phone. Military has different laws than civilians, find an attorney that is familiar with those laws. A judge won't listen to you, you didn't make the baby, and you aren't educated enough on the laws. I am not being rude, just how it is with them. Get an attorney.
I dont know where you live
I dont know where you live but in NY, i went back to take my x for more child support and the judge said that "maybe if i didnt have her in so many sports than i would have enough child support to support her". so i didnt get an increase and he hasent paid since february.
I would go and represent him since he isnt here.
Good Luck
Sonomama...how many sports DO
Sonomama...how many sports DO you have her in by the way? What kind of costs are those? Personally if I'm struggling financially those are things to cut back on...that said not sure how much you receive so couldn't say.
not alot,, dance which is 10$
not alot,, dance which is 10$ every saturday,,,, but her shoes were 20 for ballet and 20 for tap... costume for recital was 60 and little cute tu tu for dance is 20. She did swimming which was 120 for 8 weeks, soccer was 80$ not including cleats, shin guards, soccer ball and gloves, CCD was 130, and she does girl scouts the dues was 30 and than her vest with the start up patches was 20. it all adds up: if he dosent want to help me pay he cant come to any events.
If BD doesn't help you pay
If BD doesn't help you pay for activities you put your BD in, he can't come and see her? I don't think that's very fair at all to your daughter. My BD is in cheer and XH doesn't help me pay for any of it ($1500/yr just for high school cheer!) but I'd never, ever tell him he can't come see her cheer - that's taking something away from my BD. It just seems to me more harmful to your BD to keep Dad out of the picture like that. I totally understand the constraint of paying for everything yourself, but when you choose to enroll her in the activities aren't you choosing to pay for it, as well?
It might be more effective to
It might be more effective to rely on the state laws regarding deployment and child custody/support cases.
What state are you in? This link might be helpful - it even has the state laws referenced: http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/docs/Military-Parent-Bills-Status-2010...
Military parents get screwed
Military parents get screwed regularly when they are unable to show up for court. My FDH has to pay *half* his income in CS because his chain of command would not allow him time off for the court hearing. He tried to file the Service Members Civil Relief Act (used to be Soldiers and Sailors Act), but it only covers some specific instances for not having to make a physical appearance in front of a judge. Since it does not technically cover family court, it's at the judge's discretion whether or not to honor the request.The judge in his case chose not to, and yes, BM got *everything* she asked for.
It's good you have POA, and yes, you should try to use it, just keep in mind that no one is obliged to honor a POA (found this out when my own SM was dying and I needed to take over their household finances) and the judge may choose not to.
There is good-ish news in out circumstance, though. When DH went back to his chain of command and explained to them what happened (they were all *CONVINCED* the SMCRA applied to all cases of law), they have allowed him time off for every single mediation and court date since. June 2, there's a hearing to change the custody agreement and child support amount, so hopefully all goes well.
Good luck to you; your spouse is fortunate to have someone he trusts who cares enough to do this for him.
I do not know about your
I do not know about your state, but in mine, regardless of POA you may not represent him in court. An attorney can, just as an attorney may ask for continuance or conduct a trial by phone. Military has different laws than civilians, find an attorney that is familiar with those laws. A judge won't listen to you, you didn't make the baby, and you aren't educated enough on the laws. I am not being rude, just how it is with them. Get an attorney.