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mommyandstepmommy2011's picture

Submitted by mommyandstepmom... on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 10:58am

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Wwe have a relative that keep asking why we didnt fight for custody of SD. She moved with her mom which was best and Im tired of this relative questioning us.
BG
We have been together a total of five years. When we met SD lived with her mom. Once we started dating he tried to have me raise her BUT he wasnt willing to put the parenting work in himself. I told him that he has to be willing to be a parent or that she has to live with her mom.
We argued about it and then she went back to her mom and is doing well. Other people who dont know the entire story keep asking why because out of the three of us I guess they think Iwas the best person for her BUT she has two parents and they need to work together to raise her period.
Im tired of people asking me this as it is no one's business!

mommyandstepmommy2011's picture

Submitted by mommyandstepmom... on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 12:05pm

I dont answer them>i usually say nothing and then finally I said that I dont think that is necessary and that no child wants to be apart from either parent so the two of them have to split the time as best they can. I hate when the relative brings it up because he had wanted to have her with him but wasnt willing to make the sacrifices to do that and I wasnt going to allow him to leave me with all the work.
It is a sore spot for us and I dont want to talk about it.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 12:44pm

We gave up fighting for SD15 and mostly because we couldn't win and BM was fighting us all the way. Also, I couldn't deal with SD and her lying and manipulating everyone. It is a sore spot for DH and I. It did serious damage to our relationship. I still get told by friends in town that we abandoned her or threw her out. Couldn't be further from the truth. I just tell people I don't want to discuss it and that she is not the "victim" that everyone thinks she is. She caused this mess and I am done protecting her. I get it a lot and have found that I say she is not my stepdaughter and that it is a difficult situation that I choose not to relive. Usually shuts them up...

roseslady2's picture

Submitted by roseslady2 on Thu, 07/07/2011 - 12:56pm

I have a pretty nosey family too. Mine's mostly about discipline choices and such, though. They are recently just realizing that maybe the discipline problems withmy SS's isn't about me. My mom has even been doing some disengaging of her own. They finally realize that I do almost all the disciplining and that the big problem is their mom and dad not wanting to do it, not that we're not doing the "right kind". I hope the best for you. Hopefully, your family will back off.