I am so glad I found this site!
Oh my, where to begin...I have been with my husband for almost 6 years (we have been married for 2). I am so stressed out over child support and his exes that I am considering leaving. I sometimes feel like I am losing my mind!! My husband has 3 children from 2 marriages. Their ages are 19, 16 and 7. We pay, or rather he pays, almost $1200.00 per month in child support!! Believe me, he doesn't make the money that would constitute that much child support, so basically we live off of my salary and I just think it is so unfair! For the 19 and 16 year old, I think his child support is reasonable but for the 7 year old, he pays almost the same as he pays for the 2 oldest....what is wrong with this picture??!! Does anyone know how modifications turn out for the Dad? We are planning to get an attorney because the BM of the 7 year old absolutely won't budge when it comes to her $560.00 per month child support, even though we have done the online calculation and what she is owed is substantially less than that. The big kicker in this is that in their divorce decree, there was no child support ordered for either party and my husband was just responsible for all of the daycare costs (they divorced when my SS was an infant). The BM is a radiology tech and makes more money than my husband and is able to take my SS on vacations and do all sorts of things that we wish we could do with him but can't. I also work every other weekend bartending to make ends meet and I am so fed up with it! Why should I have to work extra??!! I could go on and on...is there a character limit in these posts?? Haha... I also feel like my husband is being a wimp and in turn that just does not make him appealing to me whatsoever!! Ugh! I am in a mess.
... I also feel like my
... I also feel like my husband is being a wimp and in turn that just does not make him appealing to me whatsoever!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That used to be a problem for me also. Sometimes still does.
Well to tell you the truth
Well to tell you the truth when it comes to CS, it’s just not fair. I have one SD10, so only one BM to deal with. The BM refuses to buy anything for SD. She even refused to buy her sunscreen and told her to get it from us. All SD’s clothes are hand me downs from her cousins at BM’s house – or ones taken from us. We have had the school contact DH to pay the lunch bill because it was so far behind and they were getting no response from BM. We get all the medical and dental bills sent directly to us and BM refuses to even pay a co-pay ( *I* cover 100% of SD’s medical and dental insurance). We purchase SD’s school supplies, shoes, pay for 100% of any activity costs (or she would do NONE, as BM would not put her in any – would cost her money and her time). For 5 years we had SD whenever she was not in school so BM had NO child care costs. Over the summer months SD lived with us and we still paid the full monthly CS payment to BM, plus had to pay for child care costs – BM contributed nothing.
So I know how frustrating it is and how unfair it is. Now, even if you go into court and you think you pay too much and it would go down, that is not always the case. There are many factors that affect CS and they varies from state to state. I personally don’t think that is a very high payment for a child. My DH pays something similar for SD and that does not include the medical and dental insurance that we also pay for, all the uninsured medical and dental that we pay for at 100%, and all the child care costs.
When we were paying BM childcare costs it was well over $700 a month. And the real kicker was BM had NO childcare costs, we had them, but we had to pay her by CO for childcare. We asked her to remove that portion from the CO and she refused. We had to petition the court to have it removed and it finally was, but Dh paid at least 9 months of childcare to BM that she never had costs for. The judge did come down hard on her for it, but DH got NONE of it back.
Most states take into consideration both parents income, how many other dependents they have, how much visitation time they have, who provides insurance, and if there are child care costs. That is all they will look at. They do not look at the monthly bills of the parents, the debt of the parents, if they parents spend the money on the child, if they go on vacations, etc. It would probably be beneficial to you to check out what all affects CS in your state.
I just don't get it! How are
I just don't get it! How are the Fathers supposed to be Fathers when they have to work their lives away to pay the BM's?? Sometimes I question my judgement by even getting into this relationship but I really do love my husband and all of his children (we all get along great) I just can't hardly deal with the BM's and their constant, never ending demands. Hopefully, since I have found this site, I can learn a few things from others because up until now, I have felt totally alone in a dreadful situation.
My SO pays $800 a month -
My SO pays $800 a month - yes, that's right, $800 - and makes less than 1/2 of what she makes. Part of me thinks of how much that sucks because that's money we could be spending on us and our family - he only sees the baby 4 days a month for crying out loud. Other (meaner)part of me says that's what you get for not wearing a condom and trusting a woman who says she accidentally took the "wrong color pill". Please.