Ugh... I am guilty of this. But really? I had a simple life before I was married and now here I am having to pick up after 2 kids who aren't mine and act bratty. They aren't appreciative and spoiled. Do you think I can love that kinda behavior??? NO ONE WOULD!!!! Only a PARENT.

Nor do I like the reminder that my dh was intimate and decided to make children with someone else- who's a lousy mother. I think he was trying to get a replacement for her when he met me.

Oh the things I would change if I knew what I know now.

My DH gets mad at me for not loving SS like my own. Ive felt privately guilty about it for the longest time until I realized something. I provide for SS the same as my bios. I cook, clean, play, etc. to the most that he will let me. I think I offer him everything he needs from a step mother. He has BOTH of his parents to offer him that unconditional love and if that isn't enough for my DH, oh well! He told me he loves my DD like his own which made me feel more guilty until some recent arguments we've had where he has PROVEN TO ME that he does not. Although I was less than pleased with the situations, I felt better knowing that he was full of crap saying that he loved her like his own bc now I don't feel so guilty. I agree that hte love you have for your children isnt able to be compared to the love for anyone else. It might be different for me if I was hte mother to SS, but Im not. He lives with his mother 50% of the time so really I have no say in discipline, medical, school, etc. To love unconditionally a child who in all reality I have no say over, seems very difficult.

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So glad I am not alone. My DH and I get along very well w/bm. I find so many things about my ss outright annoying! I cannot pretend that it is otherwise, so I just ignore him. He is basically a good kid, has ADHD. It drives me crazy when we have to repeat everything to him numerous times and my dh does not seem bothered by this in the least. I will raise my voice. I feel as though I am the only one who will approach anything like discipline. I fear these habits will become monstrous during teenage years (he is now 9).

My biggest issue with SS and BS is the fact that BS doesn't get away with certain things so SS sure as Hell isn't going to. SS and BD have moments where they say I'm unfair. then SS proceeds to claim I'm always telling him no...but never BS. I don't need to get on BS because he follows the rules. He knows when momma means business and doesn't continue to be disrespectful. At the same time I will always love my BS more because I went through a rough 9 months trying to have him its natural its an unconditional love BD will never get because he isn't the SP. So I refuse to show mercy for either child but I also know it is impossible to love SS the same way as BS. SS already has a mom to she him all that.