To pay or not to pay that is the question
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My husband has two daughters, one 16 and one 13. He has paid his 60% of the uncovered expenses for their both of braces. The 16 year old has had her braces off since 2009. The 13 year old had hers removed in June of this year.
His 16 year old lost her retainer while she was away at a hotel with her mother. She left it out with the rest of the mess and the maid must have thrown it out.
BM is requesting his payment for the expense of replacing the retainer. So far we haven't paid it because we don't think her lack of responsibility was what was intended in the repayment of uninsured costs and we completed the payments on her braces, AND original retainer which was included, more than 2 years ago.
Should we pay?
As you paid 60% & it was lost
As you paid 60% & it was lost on BM's time, I'd say she can take care of it.
I think something should be
I think something should be worked out where daughter pays back mom and dad for the retainer.
Personally, I don't think you
Personally, I don't think you should have to pay, but the courts might see it differently. My DH pays 70% or 80% (can't remember which) of all uncovered expenses. It's in the divorce agreement. You'll have to find out if he's legally responsible for it. If not, I would say no. Something to think about, though...if he doesn't pay for it, will BM? If not, then you have to deal with perhaps more dental costs because SD isn't wearing the retainer.
She already has the
She already has the replacement. Besides the Ortho, which was set up as different accounts, BM, her share and DH, his share (which as I said his share was paide off 2 years ago), BM has to pay the expense first and then send the invoice to DH for reimbursement. He then has 30 days to pay. My thought is not to reimburse her as this is outside the original financial agreement for the Ortho expense.
No. I wouldn't pay for the
No. I wouldn't pay for the replacement.
Definately not!! I would
Definately not!! I would make the 13 yr old responsible for earning the money for the replacement. I remember losing my retainer when I was that age I got in major trouble. I had to pay my parents 20.00 and the put in the rest. That was my babysitting money and I was saving up for Guess jeans LOL I was way more careful with it after that!!
SD13 takes her bike back and forth to BM's she left it outside at BM's house and it got stolen. She had been told to bring it inside to keep that from happening but she didn't do it. So what does Bm do but run out and buy her a new one :jawdrop: Teaches a child nothing if you always rescue them IMHO
I think it depends on the
I think it depends on the kiddo in question. Being a very scatterbrained but good natured adult, I get it when SS11 (who is very much like me) loses stuff (which is constant). I'm also always wandering around the house going "Has anyone seen my keys/rings/phone?" We got SS11 an iPod shuffle a while back and he lost the cord at BM's house. If we were to wait on BM to get him another cord or pay for half, well...might as well trash the shuffle. So we bought him another one ($25ish), but he was told that if he lost it again, he'd be doing chores to make up for it. For SS11, I think that's the way to go when stuff like this happens.
This may have happened and
This may have happened and she is trying to recoup money she didn't put out, or the kid may have lost it before, got the free replacement, and this time there is a cost. Don't know. If we really wanted to find out, my husband could call the ortho himself, but I think we are both pretty satisfied that he is not responsible for the lost retainer.
If BM couldn't afford to replace it, we would replace it without question, but that is not the case here. My husband pays her $2,000.00 a month cs, private school for both children 60% of uninsured costs and still pays for aftercare fot the 13 year old because BM doesn't have transportation to get her home after school. It's a private school, so there are no buses, and 100% travel expenses for the kids to come here. We also provide extras because both of us agree that parenting doesn't end with CS. So, I thik BM can eat this one.
Thanks for all of your comments. I jusr wanted to make sure I wasn't off base here.
Our BM tried to get money
Our BM tried to get money from DH that she never paid. She sent him a statement from the chiropractor. It was a new patient visit for 100-something, don't remember the exact amount. Since SS is a kid, the charge was only $30, which is what BM paid. On the statement, though, it showed the other hundred and something paid in cash...it's how they do their bookkeeping. BM failed to mention that when she sent the statement, so we thought she had paid her % of the hundred something.
DH called the chiro though, cuz the statement was a little confusing, and found out the total bill was 30 bucks...so he sent BM a very small check. Nice try.
I agree with everyone else no
I agree with everyone else no do not pay for it. The mom can it was lost on hr time and if she wants someone to pay the sd can. Sd will not be any more careful unless she has to pay for. Besides you paid more then she did away. what ever happened to both parents providing not just one?
PS - if the kid has left it
PS - if the kid has left it at your home or lost it while with you, would SHE be paying? I doubt it.
I doubt it too.
I doubt it too.
Be careful or you are setting
Be careful or you are setting protocol with "she lost it on BM's time so BM has to replace it". Decide if you want to replace everything SD loses on YOUR time before you agree to that for THAT particular reason. If BM is evil enough, she just may manipulate a situation with such. Jus' sayin.
I would consider the personality of the child and the cost of the retainer. Teaching responsibility is important but often we don't explain the liability beforehand. Did anyone tell SD before she took responsibility of the retainer that if she lost it she'd be responsible for paying it? We tell that to kids when they borrow books. We tell them that if they don't return it on time they will be fined. If they lose it they will have to pay the full replacement cost. Usually we know this upfront. If you explain this to you SD beforehand, they will be a lot more responsible because they know the cost TO THEM. Also, they may choose to decline the responsibility and say, I don't want to suffer the consequences so I won't risk it. Whatever the case, it's hard to argue something you've agreed to in advance.
Nah, we're not paying for it
Nah, we're not paying for it because we don't believe losing the retainer was included in his financial obligation in the first place not because it was lost on "her time."
The original ortho bill was split immediately into two accounts, BM's and DH's. They each made their own payments for both kids.