Question about BM's death bennies from late hubby
Our BM receives CS for three children from my DH, receives death bennefits from a nine month marriage to a man she married because he was terminally ill with cancer. Between those she receives 73k tax free, no mortgage, drives two Lincolns and does not work. BM had a 4th child with another man, whom she receives money from and her brother also lives with her and is paying monies to her too.
The death bennefits are issued to the children because they were considered his step children even though they get support from their biological father. My DH is going back to court to change custody and CS.
DH would like to see the money from the death bennies to go towards the children's college education and see if the court would award this.
Has anyone come across this situation before?
Your DH wants to get the kids
Your DH wants to get the kids and get the money that is the result of his ex-wife's dead husband??
That sounds kinda money-grubbing.
SKIDS get money because sdad
SKIDS get money because sdad died? weird...
PS depending on where you are
PS depending on where you are at, those benefits COULD impact CS
Let me clarify for
Let me clarify for everyone...
While my DH is going back to court for issues unrelated to the death bennies...he would like to see if the court will have the death bennies put into a 529 account for the children's college education considering they are bennies for the children.
BM has "custody" of SD12 college fund and blew threw thousands of $$$ to the point there is nothing left. BM used the money to have a boob job, bought herself a Lincoln Aviator in cash. DH has "custody" of the SS's college fund and have not been touched.
I think any woman who marries a man secretly because he is terminally ill with cancer, moves him in the house to expose this death process to her children ages 10,9 and 8 to get money because she is too lazy to honestly work....is a "money grubber".
DH is trying to advocate for his children's future.
They won't do anything with
They won't do anything with the death benefits. Trust me lots of dealing with SS death benefits for my son. They are the moms to do what she wants. Every year we get a form that asks how much we put away for them. They don't read it and it doesn't impact it. I collect for my son, I no longer collect for me, because I make too much. As it should be.
She will collect money for each of them every month until they turn 18. Nothing anyone can do about it. I just didn't think Steps could collect.
As for the college funds, that DH could pusue with lawyers on misuse of funds.
While BM was married to this
While BM was married to this very sick man, she continued her year and a half relationship with another man. This "other" guy who is a Dr. shared with my DH that the reason she married him was to get his retirement bennefits when he died because her alimony was coming to an end. The sick hubby was supposed to die within a few months and because he was doing well, he died 9 months later. The sick hubby knew she was cheating on him and never signed over anything to her. BM became so pissed, she basically barried him and let the vets put a footmarker in so people knew where he was.
When he died, she dumped the boyfriend and introduced a new boyfriend with a child...all in four weeks time. I don't see "love" I see a user.
I respect your opinion but I don't agree with things not being my DH's business. His children are his business and it will become his business again when she comes after him for college expenses.
The bennies are for the children and not her to live off of.
Sounds like dad hates the way
Sounds like dad hates the way mom got the $$. Yet he has no problem trying to benefit from the money. He's looking for someone else to pay for his children's college education.
and that's why he has a
and that's why he has a college fund already set up for his son's since they were born :?
I think were all getting a
I think were all getting a little defensive about the situation and whats being said. Regardless of BMs intentions and actions, the point is that SKs are receiving money from their late SD and blueswan's husband wants to see it go to something good.
I do agree however that while your husband wants to have a say in where the money goes, he doesn't. I can respect that he figures to put it towards something useful instead of BM boobs, third car or diapers for the 4th child. He can't even decide where his child support goes, so he's not going to be able to decide where this money goes.
As another user said though, he should be able to have his CS lowered based on the lifestyle the late stepfather was/is providing.
You also mentioned a change in custody...what type of change?
What BM does with the money
What BM does with the money received as a result of her DEAD HUSBAND is her business and ONLY her business.
Why oh why would your DH feel entitled to that??
BTW, there are certain, specific requirements for a stepchild to receive benefits. Are you assuming she gets bennies for the kids or do you KNOW she gets bennies for the kids (and not just her)??
Why is everybody being so
Why is everybody being so hard on Blueswan? I don't blame her DH for being pissed about spending the college fund. I don't think he sounds like a money grubber. Who wouldn't want BM to put in her fair share instead of throwing it away on boobs????
I have no clue about the legal aspects of this, but at the very least, I would have the court reevaluate CS and her income. If Dh's child support can be lowered, maybe he can use that to start a new college fund. I would definitely explore everything with the court. The worst that can happen is they say no!
Just remember, everybody has an opinion. It doesn't mean they are right. Only you and DH know what is best for your family.
BM should absolutely NOT have
BM should absolutely NOT have raided the 529 account for boobies. I'm kinda surprised the account didn't require BOTH parents sign to remove money.
That's a totally separate issue.
She collects SS because her husband died. THAT is the $$ the OP's DH wants to get. He's not entitled.
And I'm not even sure it's $$ for the skids. I think it's more likely that it's the BM's spouse survivor benefits.
I just think they should take
I just think they should take all those sources of "income" into account when figuring her DH's CS. I don't think they should have figured in my DH's bonus...he worked his ass off for that and it's not guaranteed every year, but they did. I wasn't aware you could get SS benefits after being married only 9 months.
I just don't think her DH sounds like a money grubber.
The bennefits are for the
The bennefits are for the children. BM gets a very, very small portion because she is considered a young "widow" and is able to work according to SS. And yes we saw the documentation for the bennefits in court.
Able to work...There is
Able to work...There is nothing in the rules about able to work. It is whether you have income or not...Based on W-2's not whether she feels like working....
You are very incorrect and
You are very incorrect and need to check the benefits on the govt website. Let me try to explain it again. She gets a check as a young widow. THen she gets another check for the kids. But, I still don't think she is getting benefits for the kids since they are steps. I had to take in my sons Birth certificate and had to prove he was my late husbands child. Unless he adopted them, I don't think she is collecting on them.
My Widow benefits are automatic until my son is 18. Then they stop. I have a job and remarried so they are gone from that. I guarantee if she is not working she is probably collecting the max of widow benefits due to her late husbands age and income. $1405.00 per month for being a widow. When she has a job they remove one dollar for every 2 dollars she makes over 11K. It doesn't start to remove the money until she makes is over 11K per year.
I guarantee you that she is probably getting money from her widow benefits. Also, I am truly offended by your inference that because someone is a young widow they are not entitled. I was 34 years old and would have lost my house without the benefits for my son...Which is what those benefits are intended for. Also, this gentleman paid into the system for years and probably wanted someone to collect for him. I guarantee you they had that conversation.
She may have married him for his benefits, but she is still his widow and she is entitled to the benefits. Your DH has no say in how she spends her benefits.
As for the cashing of the 529 that is where your DH should focus his energy and sue her there. Soc sec is none of your business.
Unless you have actually researched the soc sec benefit rules, you should not make a blanket statement about the benefits...I have had to deal with this system for 10 years now as a young widow and there is no varying what the rules are for collecting.
I am not claiming to be the
I am not claiming to be the SS dept and know everything. It was not intended to be offensive, only what I read on the gov site three years ago. In speaking with a friend of mine who has worked for SS dept for the last 30 years, she is receiving benefits for her kids even for step kids. BM receives 43k annually. BM needed to be married for 9 months to collect this money.
I would be angry myself if I were a young widow, hearing about a woman who uses these sad situations to abuse the system.