Becoming a Nightmare ??
Im a female I dont have kids myself - but am almost two years with my gf and her kids girl 12 and boy 13. He's a little goody two shoes - in front of her. hes also a racist, ill informed brat who thinks he is leagues above all. Sure, he has intelligence - but his mum helps him loads and does his homework - of which he will always take 100% credit for. Its slightly irksome.
I treated her to a games console for her bithday and he put £10 in - he couldnt be bothered to get anything else and since then Mummys little boy says " Are you glad i got you a Xbox Mummy" and he has also told anyone who will listen that HE bought her this for her bithday..
Is all this normal? its starting to grate on me.
He calls all servicemen Dumb - which MUST be coming from his BD as all my family are from the forces. I do not reprimand him or correct his really racist stuff as he does it in front of his mum and she seems ok with it.
Obviously, he isnt in the slightest bit homophobic - but that would be as dumb as the racism
Today i feel sick as i just feel it will worsen.
and there is so much more -
and there is so much more - but the post woulda bin huge
You're keeping his racist
You're keeping his racist comments/attitude from his Mom is doing him (and her) NO favors. Would she be ok with his racism? I would guess that since he seems to hide that particular behavior from her, he is fully aware that she would rain fresh hell down on his head if she knew. She needs to know. Sooner rather than later
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She said that he does it in front of his mom and mom doesn't do anything about it. That's an entirely different situation to handle from the stepparent-discipline standpoint. There are all kinds of (granted, little) behaviors from my skids that drive me nuts, but until DH has a problem with them, and wants them to change, I'd just be the evil stepmom that doesn't like/is too hard on his kids.
"I do not reprimand him or
"I do not reprimand him or correct his really racist stuff as he does it in front of his mum and she seems ok with it."
I'm not trying to argue with
I'm not trying to argue with you, I agree that racism by anyone is not ok. But I do see it from the point of, what do you do if BM/BD are ok with the behavior? For example, my skids have no respect for boundaries as far as DH's and my bedroom is OUR space, not a room that they can just walk in or play in whenever they feel like it. Drives me up the ever-loving wall. I have them now while DH is at work. They went to play in our room, I sat both their asses in timeout. If DH were here, I would've been overreacting, harsh, mean... This is something that she needs to make her SO see and deal with. If BM is giving off the impression that she doesn't care or it's ok, anything SM says is useless.
Oh, I could write a whole
Oh, I could write a whole book on their lack of boundaries with MY room. I had to lock the bedroom door to take an uninterrupted shower this morning. I really don't care if I'm in there or not when they run in, that's MY space and I'm tired of having my stuff tossed around, jewelry lost, etc, because they don't feel like running around in THEIR rooms... But I'm post-jacking.
OP, good luck, and even if it doesn't work, try to plant that seed that his racism is NOT ok.
He is rasict in front of her!
He is rasict in front of her! I dont need to keep his behaviour from her - She SEEs it - though is blind it seems.
You'd kick a 13 year olds ass?? - wow - what a joy you must be.
I disagree with you - but thanks for the response