Nope, you're not wrong. If he won't listen to you, tell him he can add $10 of HIS money to pot.

Let him know that you will not help or support his plan.

If you are the one buying him things & he is not responsible yet, than I feel you would be making a wrong move there. As far as the dad being the banker..yea that's just dumb! Sure he has good intention and all but how would that help your step son learn responsibility? He needs to learn how to manage his own money.

Disneyfan is right. The skid needs to manage his own money and not see dad as an old guy with a long white beard in the sky. He should have his own savings account into which, of course, DH may choose to pay money gifts -- but that seems a little odd at this age. Interest rates are not great at the moment but hey, welcome to the adult world of understanding what is happening to the global economy.

Tell him that it is great that he is encouraging his son, but let him do it with HIS money. The next time you want to go out and do something and can't afford to, then you get to point out that if you weren't supporting his son, you would be able to afford to do things yourselves.

OK, on another thread someone mentioned charging rent and secretly putting it aside for the kid....

Maybe that would be a good compromise here? Then, you're not serving as a bank, you're serving as a landlord, and then when you decide to give him money later, it's not because you owe him something... it's because you're generous.

i don't know about "his" money. most married couples have joint accounts and all the monies earned go into the pot. she may not have separate accounts and to start splitting up the marriage earnings creates all kinds of problems and divisions.

Stop "doing and buying for this kid" and do the $10 thing instead. It will probably be cheaper for you, and he will learn to stop depending on your for "doing and buying."

>>>My husband is very upset with me and feels I should be more willing to help him out.<<<

Help him out with what? He's not in school, and he's already getting $$ from you and DH in some form, so I don't see a need to just outright give him cash "interest" on his savings. Ridiculous.

The adolescent brain is not fully developed until age 26 so there is still lots of hope. Also, this generation is known for lag time in leaving the nest compared to the previous generation. I don't think this idea is all that bad honestly. It probably depends a lot on how willful the immature behavior has been. Is he having a hard time getting established in these challenging times or is he just 100% freeloader? You may be surprised by the changes you see in him in the next couple years. In my generation we were already "on our way" by age 20 but these days, right or wrong, it is not uncommon for "kids" these days to take longer.

I think if you do go ahead with your H's plan you may want to consider a cap amount as well as a functional goal this money is going towards. Otherwise he could put $1000 in and then take out $1100 2 months later. Or he could just get a few hundred in interest and blow it.

Is the money going for a specific goal in the end?
Otherwise, shouldn't he be using some of that money to help you guys with living expenses?

I understand his dad's excitement and earnest desire to motivate your ss. Maybe you could try the loan idea with a cap amount and a defined goal. E.g. you'll give him max $100 (on a thousand) as long as it's going to go towards a down payment on an apt or car etc... If you do agree, you can budget a cap. After a $1 k maybe it could go down to 5% for another $1 K (max $150). That would still be alot better than any bank.

Touché, Saffron ~50+, I love it!!!!