Hi to you all,
I'm a bio mum to my son whos 4, and step mum to a an 11 year old girl (great fun) and a 10 year old boy. They live with me and my husband of 8months full time and rarely see their mother.

Found this site after googling being a step mum cos' I just thought I wish there was a place I could speak to other people who are in the same situation and who understand just how hard it is to be a step mum.

I am 22 and met my OH when i was 20 so we havent been together very long at all and our relationship moved very fast after 3 months we had moved in together and he had gone back to work full time leaving me with all the kids. This seemed a great idea at the time, we blended our families he could go to work make more money and we'd all live happily ever after! If only!!

In reality I took on far to much, at the time my son was only just 2 so i had no idea what it was like to look after older chidren and it came as a shock, What with the attitude and the mess and I was expected to do everything! Still am!

I feel like I am facing a constant battle and nothing is ever easy with our family,
even simple things like my SS will not eat a lot very few things and turns his nose up at anything i cook especially if its healthy, consiquently my DS has decided he too doesnt like anything healthy or indeed much that i cook and they seem to live of crap, purely because my OH insists i pander to him and cook him something different at each meal where as my view is if you dont like it go hungry this has been going on for over 2 years and I needs to be sorted,
Ive even found rotting foo hidden under furniture and all OH did was hug him and say its okay but dont do it again after 4 times! and him sticking chewing gum to our walls!!

Their mum sees them no more than once a month she never rings, texts emails ect she just doesnt speak to them at all inbetween these times. There is no firm arrangement about when she will see them and I have tried to start this in the pst being a firm believer that children need stability and to know where they are gonna be and when she will not commit to a time like the 3rd weekend of every month so she can see them. She will just raandomly text my SD and ask her if she can see them and we know this is only cos' her mum makes her.
She has moved 3 times in the last 2 years alone and is moving again in a few months. she moved 6 hours away and then expected the kids to sit on a train for that time to come and see her. She has also had 2 more children and is pregnant with another!
This angers me because she cant and wont look after the children she has yet shes still procreating!! and keeps saying oh how they wanted a little girl and its like hello you have a little girl and you dont see her or speak to her!
I hate her, I know hate is a very strong word but it sickens me that she cares so little about the kids.

I will not and can not ever be their mum but i love them besides the constant trials that come with being in their lives I would do anything for them. Knowing how i feel about my BS I find it so hard to understand how she can live with herself and the way she treats them on the rare occasions she sees them and not speaking to them in between, she misses out on so much and i would hate to miss anything my BS does.

Ah this is a long post already and I feel like i could write that and more all over again. There are so many things that bother me like how I am expected to do everything for everybody and get nothing in return and I have to organise my life around them gets frustrating sometimes,