How to communicate with my stepson
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I have been married to my husband for 5 years but together for 8. I will be 29 in July and my husband will be 41 in Sept and he has a 15 year old son. His BM is not in the picture. He has lived with his father since 4 months old, and with me for the past 8 years. I have considered him my own since day one. It seems like the older he is getting, the less I know him. Sometimes we argue and bicker more like brother and sister rather than mother and son. I know it could just be our age difference, but i'm kind of at a loss here. What can we do build/strengthen our relationship?
I feel a little better
I feel a little better knowing im not the only one thinking this. Sometimes I second guess my parenting skills b/c I do not have any biological children. Am i wrong for wanting to wanting to know every aspect of his life?
"Am i wrong for wanting to
"Am i wrong for wanting to wanting to know every aspect of his life?"
Yes. It is natural for teens to pull away and attempt to establish independence away from the family. The more you pry about certain things, the more you will push him away.
My BS16 is the same way. The more questions I ask, the more he clams up.
Instead, I just throw it out there that I am willing to listen - and I do when he is willing to share.
Meanwhile, just keep your eyes peeled for warning signs for drugs, etc. Just in case. If there aren't any warning signs, he's fine. He's being a normal teen and be happy for it.
Adolescense. Hang on.
Adolescense. Hang on.
One thing I have always felt
One thing I have always felt about adolescence is that at the very time teens are telling their parents "go away" is the time that they really need them the most, and they secretly desire for their parents to go nowhere. But because we see their independence, we feel they can handle more, and we give them freedom. And we stop talking, stop expecting them to talk, stop hanging out with them, and start expecting them to give us attitude. Pull them closer when they think they should push away, and you will always know what's going on.
Ahhh hes a teenager! He is a
Ahhh hes a teenager! He is a freak, I remember being a freak at 15, don't mistake teen angst for skid problems, don't be drawn into bickering, state your point and stick to it, is hubby backing you up?
Yes,that is one good thing,
Yes,that is one good thing, hubby does back me up! However, he is a truck driver and is only home on the weekends, so sometimes it gets a little tough!
Well tell ss, no respect then
Well tell ss, no respect then no allowance, or any perks, he needs to learn about respect like any child does.
Mine are all in their 30's
Mine are all in their 30's now, but I clearly rememember a stage they each went through when I thought they must have been swapped at birth, they could not be my kids, I did not know anything about these people who were living in my home, to this day though I do remember how smart they were, they all KNEW EVERYTHING back then and were happy to let me know it. They're not as smart now they have kids of their own