Letting go
Ok so BM is has really been getting on my nerves!
I stepped back a little and let DH take SD out to movies or dinner once a week. That way everything and everybody had some time away from drama that happend a couple of weeks ago..(i did post abt it) DH and I both apologized about last blow up.
Wellllllll, I wanted to go to dinner with SD to talk some things over. I emailed her mom so I could avoid all possible routes of bs happening. WELLLLLL, that still created bs in the end... So,frustrated, I just gave up and cried( i know i know stupid) but im really trying to make everything better!
So I decided ok im tired of looking like the bad guy. DH spoke to SD11 found out she thought everything was already solved. All that needed to be done was me and SD clear a few things up. DH contacted SD last night saying we wanted to come by and you just run outside for 5 minutes and talk to SM. Also see kids( she has not seen our kids in a month) she was so happy!
WE GOT THIS MESSAGE
just spoke to sd11. we wont be home tomorrow and she didnt know that. make it some other day
so DH text sd11 "its ok baby sat or sun you can see kids"
text received from the b**** "in future check with me not he before impromptu visits. I give permission not her. I make plans. See you guys in 3 week
DH and My mouth literally popped open
she lives in apartments we arent going on personal property, didnt go through her because no matter what she always paints us out to be the bad person.
We didnt send anything back to the mom but hubby forwarded message to SD11 and also said " i tried baby sorry"...GRRRRR i want to strangle her...
Hubby thinks she just wants
Hubby thinks she just wants to be in control and doesnt have sd11's best interest at heart. I agree
Why is he planning stuff
Why is he planning stuff during mom's time?
He is not planning
He is not planning things...he is suppose to see sd11 twice wk she took that away by telling sd oh your cousins will be here...so he wanted to at least see her for 5 min...
Why is he making plans to go
Why is he making plans to go to BM's house withOUT speaking with BM?
He's setting up arrangements with his 11 year old? I have a DD11, too, and I CALL THE SHOTS. She doesn't just tell me when someone is coming over. She's tried, and I always end it because she didn't ask first.
IMO, it was wrong for SO to set this up with his daughter without speaking with BM. Y'all are irritated at the wrong person.
BTW, back when my XH saw the kids, I was really open with him. He has no CO's visitation. I allowed liberal interaction; basically, anytime he wanted to and the kids were willing. He had the cell numbers of all the kids. He kept insisting on texting DD11 to set up plans. Over and over. I told him repeatedly to go through ME to set things up. He kept refusing. After several times, I just blocked his number from her cell.
PS: His texts ring of PAS.
I agree, knucklehead. Same
I agree, knucklehead. Same thing happened to me. I give my exh liberal time with the kids even though legally I don't have to. But when he started making plans with my 9 yr old without asking me, I have a problem with that! Kids don't keep calendars or know their own schedule! While this BM could be making up reasons to avoid the bio-dad just to piss him off, it's a moot point bc he should be discussing with bm in the first place. This isn't about control. It's about getting a child's hopes up when the bm then has to cancel bc of plans already made.
thanks for showing me the
thanks for showing me the other side. it just gets tiring hving to deal with bm bull. she avoids answering to hold it over dh head. honestly we are tired of it. She keeps planning things on dh day. tired of it. we did ask for visitation during week through her...or at least i did. Now that i understand
he send them because she lies
he send them because she lies about what he says all the time. Saying that oh well your dad didnt have time for you etc!