Don't forget to put a picture of the dress beside the bowl.

Both parents are at fault.

Stop cooking from him. Cook just enough for you and your kids. When he complains, tell him his daughter will be wearing his meals to the prom.

Too much to one person may be cheap to the next.

If you can afford it, and are willing to pay that much fine.

If you can't afford and/or think that amount is nuts, that is fine as well.

OP,do you all have joint accounts.

Holy Shit - my wedding dress was $450.00 - seriously if you want to go to the prom then get a freaking job and earn the money to pay for all of this - your DH has to be able to say no!! Going to the prom is a privilege not an absolute right and the price of that dress is ridiculous - I am so thankful that my DH can and does say no many many times to my SS because he refuses to get a job. If you all don't have diapers and food then she should not have a dress that cost that freaking much!!!

I also want to add congrats on going to college and making a better life for you and your children considering your DH has no idea how to manage money and I would suggest after you start working again - you too need separate accounts or your money will be going to the skids!!

We just had the same thing. The BM bought the formal dress and then sent us the bill. So not us just my husband. No respect for me as a wage earner. What happened to the old fashioned approach of a 16 year old asking for money for a formal dress? My SD16 gets $100/week pocket money. Madness!

Since Dad is out of control seperate your income from his. This is what I did:

First added up a years worth of bills from checking and any credit card charges for household necessities. Compared our two incomes as a percentage. I earned say 66% she earned 33%. Seperated the bills via the same percentages. She is responsible for all the groceries, electric, gas, phone etc to 33%. I pay property tax, auto insurance, gasoline etc to 66%. I hope you get the picture.

Although we are cross signatures on each other checking accounts its for emergency (in the hospital etc). Your income goes in your account and you keep your extra income and he buys his kids dresses without grief from you.

Other couples have a third checking account for household expenses and they contribute into it as needed via the same percentages or however agreed upon.

Split accounts. I can see it is possible. Would save grief if we keep being a mile apart on SD's entitlements.

You know I just do not get it. I am a parent too. I adore my BS4. No matter what though he will be taught to earn his money and the value of doing that. Tasks for pocket money, helping out people in need and doing community work. All of that. He already likes to help us with taking out the rubbish and cleaning up spills.

The outcome of a girl that has been paid $100/week just to breathe since she was 13? She has no initiative, no respect for our hard work and is a home body who does not seek out an interesting life for herself. About to be 17 and off to uni, showing no interest at all in going to college or travel like her friends. We will have her with us for at least decade I reckon (or dread).

$850 formal expenses. $1700 school trip. Dresses purchased and not worn. Gets Mummy to buy her clothes (with Daddy's money ofcourse).

What also baffles me is that DH and I share the applicable fundamental values. Earning your way in the world. Work ethic. Openness and honesty.Having a busy and productive household. Why does he not provide his daughter with that very good blue print? We might suffer now but longer term she may well struggle in the world. He thinks its all ok because she gets good marks. That is just one part of the total person.

Iseeu1969 hope you are going ok with your entitled SDs. Do not give up. Sounds like you are an extremely hard working woman studying with 2 little ones and 2 revenue sappers. Keep going.

I hear you. I have said this stuff and agree it is so sensible and in line wiht normal societal values.

Forgive this rant. People are clever at not reading on this site I bet when crazy step mums like me lose it.

Now I am honest with myself this is a real nerve that has been hit. i like to think of myself as generous but it turns out I am really pissed off about money.

Sounds like you are making some real inroads with your ss15. I am truly jealous.

My DH agreed to $100/week for SD (then 13) as part of the financial settlement. Yes and a free house for Mum etc etc.

I related to the person who started this chat who had to fork out for a formal dress. OK, fair enough all girls should get a nice formal dress but we didn't get a say in the budget or even anything nice about the whole thing, just the bill once mum and daughter were finished shopping.

We are both divorced and although hard working and earning incomes we both took a financial hit from divorce and are struggling to get a deposit together for the house we want to buy. His ex did not work at all after she was pregnant 17 years ago. Sometimes I feel second rate because my little boy has a mum at work full time not a stay at home mum pandering to his every desire. I know it is bad to be angry and I need to get over it.

My little one shows every sign of being balanced and happy so perhaps he is not missing out after all.

Meanwhile...... SD16 about to be 17 has no interest in a part time job or anything that would mean work. I nearly lost it when she laughed at her friend waitressing 2 nights for $120/week. Ofcourse that would seem silly when you get $100 for nothing. ps I like the friend and want to adopt her.

She also called a friend's mother who is a hard working vet, tired and haggard. I told her that I met that Mum and she looked lovely and that I bet her daughter was proud of her. GRRRrrrr. Losing battle.

I recommended to him to reposition the money as money for a car. Most kids are saving for a car or at least going halves with their parents or some arrangement like that. I also asked him to confirm it would desist when she turns 18 which it does under the agreement.

He is insistent that he wants her to get a holiday job before uni and part time work at uni. I have no idea how she will make that leap.

What do you think? Anything else I can do?

It's a tricky one as he has stuffed it up from the start.

Mainly I want her to get a job because I cannot stand the idea of another long holiday leaving the house to go to work with her jsut sitting around all day long in my house. I do not even trust her with my private stuff.

I hear you. I have said this stuff and agree it is so sensible and in line wiht normal societal values.

Forgive this rant. People are clever at not reading on this site I bet when crazy step mums like me lose it.

Now I am honest with myself this is a real nerve that has been hit. i like to think of myself as generous but it turns out I am really pissed off about money.

Sounds like you are making some real inroads with your ss15. I am truly jealous.

My DH agreed to $100/week for SD (then 13) as part of the financial settlement. Yes and a free house for Mum etc etc.

I related to the person who started this chat who had to fork out for a formal dress. OK, fair enough all girls should get a nice formal dress but we didn't get a say in the budget or even anything nice about the whole thing, just the bill once mum and daughter were finished shopping.

We are both divorced and although hard working and earning incomes we both took a financial hit from divorce and are struggling to get a deposit together for the house we want to buy. His ex did not work at all after she was pregnant 17 years ago. Sometimes I feel second rate because my little boy has a mum at work full time not a stay at home mum pandering to his every desire. I know it is bad to be angry and I need to get over it.

My little one shows every sign of being balanced and happy so perhaps he is not missing out after all.

Meanwhile...... SD16 about to be 17 has no interest in a part time job or anything that would mean work. I nearly lost it when she laughed at her friend waitressing 2 nights for $120/week. Ofcourse that would seem silly when you get $100 for nothing. ps I like the friend and want to adopt her.

She also called a friend's mother who is a hard working vet, tired and haggard. I told her that I met that Mum and she looked lovely and that I bet her daughter was proud of her. GRRRrrrr. Losing battle.

I recommended to him to reposition the money as money for a car. Most kids are saving for a car or at least going halves with their parents or some arrangement like that. I also asked him to confirm it would desist when she turns 18 which it does under the agreement.

He is insistent that he wants her to get a holiday job before uni and part time work at uni. I have no idea how she will make that leap.

What do you think? Anything else I can do?

It's a tricky one as he has stuffed it up from the start.

Mainly I want her to get a job because I cannot stand the idea of another long holiday leaving the house to go to work with her jsut sitting around all day long in my house. I do not even trust her with my private stuff.

I hear you. I have said this stuff and agree it is so sensible and in line wiht normal societal values.

Forgive this rant. People are clever at not reading on this site I bet when crazy step mums like me lose it.

Now I am honest with myself this is a real nerve that has been hit. i like to think of myself as generous but it turns out I am really pissed off about money.

Sounds like you are making some real inroads with your ss15. I am truly jealous.

My DH agreed to $100/week for SD (then 13) as part of the financial settlement. Yes and a free house for Mum etc etc.

I related to the person who started this chat who had to fork out for a formal dress. OK, fair enough all girls should get a nice formal dress but we didn't get a say in the budget or even anything nice about the whole thing, just the bill once mum and daughter were finished shopping.

We are both divorced and although hard working and earning incomes we both took a financial hit from divorce and are struggling to get a deposit together for the house we want to buy. His ex did not work at all after she was pregnant 17 years ago. Sometimes I feel second rate because my little boy has a mum at work full time not a stay at home mum pandering to his every desire. I know it is bad to be angry and I need to get over it.

My little one shows every sign of being balanced and happy so perhaps he is not missing out after all.

Meanwhile...... SD16 about to be 17 has no interest in a part time job or anything that would mean work. I nearly lost it when she laughed at her friend waitressing 2 nights for $120/week. Ofcourse that would seem silly when you get $100 for nothing. ps I like the friend and want to adopt her.

She also called a friend's mother who is a hard working vet, tired and haggard. I told her that I met that Mum and she looked lovely and that I bet her daughter was proud of her. GRRRrrrr. Losing battle.

I recommended to him to reposition the money as money for a car. Most kids are saving for a car or at least going halves with their parents or some arrangement like that. I also asked him to confirm it would desist when she turns 18 which it does under the agreement.

He is insistent that he wants her to get a holiday job before uni and part time work at uni. I have no idea how she will make that leap.

What do you think? Anything else I can do?

It's a tricky one as he has stuffed it up from the start.

Mainly I want her to get a job because I cannot stand the idea of another long holiday leaving the house to go to work with her jsut sitting around all day long in my house. I do not even trust her with my private stuff.

I hear you. I have said this stuff and agree it is so sensible and in line wiht normal societal values.

Forgive this rant. People are clever at not reading on this site I bet when crazy step mums like me lose it.

Now I am honest with myself this is a real nerve that has been hit. i like to think of myself as generous but it turns out I am really pissed off about money.

Sounds like you are making some real inroads with your ss15. I am truly jealous.

My DH agreed to $100/week for SD (then 13) as part of the financial settlement. Yes and a free house for Mum etc etc.

I related to the person who started this chat who had to fork out for a formal dress. OK, fair enough all girls should get a nice formal dress but we didn't get a say in the budget or even anything nice about the whole thing, just the bill once mum and daughter were finished shopping.

We are both divorced and although hard working and earning incomes we both took a financial hit from divorce and are struggling to get a deposit together for the house we want to buy. His ex did not work at all after she was pregnant 17 years ago. Sometimes I feel second rate because my little boy has a mum at work full time not a stay at home mum pandering to his every desire. I know it is bad to be angry and I need to get over it.

My little one shows every sign of being balanced and happy so perhaps he is not missing out after all.

Meanwhile...... SD16 about to be 17 has no interest in a part time job or anything that would mean work. I nearly lost it when she laughed at her friend waitressing 2 nights for $120/week. Ofcourse that would seem silly when you get $100 for nothing. ps I like the friend and want to adopt her.

She also called a friend's mother who is a hard working vet, tired and haggard. I told her that I met that Mum and she looked lovely and that I bet her daughter was proud of her. GRRRrrrr. Losing battle.

I recommended to him to reposition the money as money for a car. Most kids are saving for a car or at least going halves with their parents or some arrangement like that. I also asked him to confirm it would desist when she turns 18 which it does under the agreement.

He is insistent that he wants her to get a holiday job before uni and part time work at uni. I have no idea how she will make that leap.

What do you think? Anything else I can do?

It's a tricky one as he has stuffed it up from the start.

Mainly I want her to get a job because I cannot stand the idea of another long holiday leaving the house to go to work with her jsut sitting around all day long in my house. I do not even trust her with my private stuff.