Need your feedback Please!
I feel confused about my feelings. My 17SS left to live with his deadbeat mom back in December. There was a huge war between him and us for about 5 months, because he felt his dad picked me over him and would not accept the fact that his dad didn't kick him out of the house, he was sent to live with his mom because he was too busy smoking weed, drinking, fighting with his gf all of the time. So fastfowarding, "we've made up" he has visited this summer, had a great time because he basically go to do whatever the hell he wanted in MY house. Now my husband wants to buy him a car, he is out of state, and we would cover insurance, even though he knows that his son is not responsible, drinks smokes weed, etc. What do you think, am I just being mean about not wanting to back him up to buy this irresponsible kid a car. What makes it worse is that my daughter is a very good kid, has a car, they're 5 days apart so he always expect what my daughter gets even though she is an 4.5 gpa student, has never disrespected her stepdad (my husband). What is your opinion?
I think you should express
I think you should express your concerns to your husband about the car and 17SS. I feel, as a parent, it would be extremely irresponsible for him to purchase a car giving the 17SS history.
Best of luck to you.
I side with you! I think
I side with you! I think giving that child a car would be an extremely irresponsible use of money.
Tell your husband absolutely
Tell your husband absolutely not as you would be responsible for any accident and he could kill off a newly graduated physician whose earning powers is about ten million and you would be paying for the rest of your life damages to his wife and three children.
Absolutely not. Of course this can as easily apply to your daughter but since its 12 months or less presumably she can do without if necessary.
Or you can just say NO for the obvious reasons - grades, booze, weed etc. and argue it out.
Tell him if he does this you are going to file for a legal seperation. This would mean that although still married, and living together if you wish, you are legally separated financially. Any financial obligations he undertakes (or is sued for) cannot be collected from you. Google it for more information.
It may mess up your credit somewhat but unless you're contemplating buying something of consequence, house, car it should not effect your daily life much if at all.
Your husband should read some
Your husband should read some statistics about adolescent male driving fatalities. It doesn't sound at all like this kid is ready to be behind the wheel. And he needs to stop comparing your daughter and his son unless he's willing to do it with eyes wide open and really see how different they are.
Thank you very much for the
Thank you very much for the feedback. It's just that sometimes I feel, "well what if he was my "bio son", would I feel the same way" would I be able to look past all of his imperfections? But I know that it's more than imperfection, more like he is irresponsible. It sucks because I know sooner or later, this will not be able to work in the long run, 9+ years invested, and I know things will only get worse. The 2 other ss live with us and 1 is just like his older brother, irresponsible, yet expect everything! What makes it worse is that I earne 2.5 times more then my husband, I have 1 child, and he has 3 that we have to support. It's just not fair all the way around!!