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Skid free weekend, and it is bliss! But spring break starts tomorrow and we "have them" for a week. NOOOOO!!!!

vera3's picture

Submitted by vera3 on Sun, 04/10/2011 - 2:21pm

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Blended Family Issues

I can't believe how NIGHT AND DAY it is on weekends when Skids are gone vs when they are here. My stress level is ZERO this weekend!

When they are here I'm constantly on edge to some degree waiting for "what will happen next". Lately the top two (among several) things are:

1. What messes will SD make on purpose (I don't mind the accidents or normal messes) and how I hate having to bother DH to have her clean it up, and how much time will he have to waste getting her to do it. She jerks him around/manipulates him with her act so it's never just her cleaning it up 1,2,3, it's always a big production. Although I plan to take a poster's advice and am going to start making her clean her messes up myself, instead of asking DH to make her. It won't be as pleasant for for her if I make her do it, I can tell you that.

2. What will they whine for next -- going to buy toys or going to "restaurants". Nobody can take no for an answer, there must always be multiple verdicts/explanations. Why can't no just mean no, and stop f-ing asking??? When fresh off time with BM, who evidently uses a certain % of our CS taking them to restaurants, then food here is not good enough. How about eat the decent to nice meals we make you 3X per day here? How about you just play with the tons of toys and video games you already have instead of plotting for the next new one like a crack addict?

Just reflecting on the night and day contrast of when they are gone. It's SOOO relaxing and calm here when they are gone, but guess what, they are here for a SOLID WEEK FOR SPRING BREAK STARTING TOMORROW! AAGGHH!!

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 04/11/2011 - 7:40am

I sympathise with you - I always dread my teenage SDs coming for a week at Easter and 2 weeks in the summer. However, they are not coming this Easter, except for actual Easter weekend, when we have them for 3 days. I always heave a sigh of relief on SUnday evening after they go home, and go round the house removing the evidence they have been here!

I would feel inclined to stand over your SD while she cleans up the mess she makes on purpose, making sure she does it thoroughly. If you make this process as tiresome as possible for her, maybe she will desist from doing this any more.

My SDs BM uses her vast maintenance allowance to take the SDs to restaurants, no doubt about it. However, when they started refusing to eat my perfectly nice meals, I refused to cook for them any more. These days they eat my food appreciatively. If they don't eat the food you so generously provide, I would say to them, "that's fine, you don't have to eat it, but there will be no more food until the next mealtime, and no snacks." This is the line I took with my own BDs.
I hope your forthcoming week with them passes without too much hassle. Good luck!

hiding101's picture

Submitted by hiding101 on Mon, 04/11/2011 - 12:43pm

i thought i was the only one who went through the house trying to remove all evidence that the skids had been there...glad to know i'm not alone. my skids are currently on spring break at my house as i write..come on saturday!!

vera3's picture

Submitted by vera3 on Mon, 04/11/2011 - 1:29pm

Wow so do I. I go around collecting all the stuff they left all over and put it in a pile just inside their rooms...

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Mon, 04/11/2011 - 2:20pm

I only had to deal with skids for about and hour on sunday and I wanted to run screaming from the house. They were upstairs watching TV in DH and my room and DH had to leave to run something to a friends house, I had just got in the shower when he left. When I got out of the shower I could hear them thumping around, SD13s stupid incesant giggling, and then SD13 running down the stairs to the freezer in the laundry room to "sneak" (like they think I'm stupid) ice cream bars for their breakfast and then stomping back up the stairs (doing this twice), then more thumping, stupid giggling... aRGHHGHAHGAHGHHAGH DH was gone about an hour and right about the time he got home BS1 woke up from his nap and I hightailed it out the door to "go get groceries"

Probably sounds normal to alot of you, but I absolutely CAN NOT STAND middle school aged children... I can so see why my mother sent us outside all the time when we were this age....

lilmisspants's picture

Submitted by lilmisspants on Sat, 10/29/2011 - 3:05pm

I feel your pain, especially about the making messes part. My SD will lie to her dad repeatedly when he asks if she cleaned up her mess, and then I go check and it's still there. And he is too much of a pushover to her guilt/ manipulation tactics that usually he just gives up. She will start yelling that he is a bad father when he asks her to clean up a mess. OMG! And since I am the one who stays at home, I'm the one who always ends up cleaning up the messes.
I live for the weekends that I have peace and quiet!

lilmisspants's picture

Submitted by lilmisspants on Sat, 10/29/2011 - 3:08pm

Oh yea, and I forgot to add the BM actually tells the kids to make messes here, and that it's MY JOB to clean up after them! They don't think they should have to put their dirty dishes or wrappers in the kitchen, and that I should be the one to wait on them hand and foot. Yea right!

Saf102512's picture

Submitted by Saf102512 on Tue, 07/17/2012 - 12:37pm

Oh I feel your pain. I can't wait till my sd's mom starts getting visitation and I can have a stress free day. The kid is so messy, my 2 year old nephew makes less of a mess than she does. Anytime dh asks her to clean up its a 20 minute production, first shell ignore him them mope around and pout. When he's not home I'll ask her nicely once and then yell at her. I can't take it, she spends more time whining about cleaning then the time it would take to just do it.

wrongchoices's picture

Submitted by wrongchoices on Sat, 07/21/2012 - 5:23pm

I'm several months late on this thread but I just want to say I feel your pain, too!
I'm having to bear with them some weekends, which are not even alternate, we have to wait to hear when the BM wants to drop them off. It could be every weekend or every other. Who knows. Plus a week in summer, one at easter, one at christmas and blah blah blah.
SS12 can't blow his own nose, literally. His dad (my partner) needs to remind him. SS12 also can't use the toilet properly, wees all over the seat. And guess who runs after him and clean up??? Oh yes their dad! No matter how endless discussions we had that he needs to teach them not clean after them. Come on really? 12 years old and can't use a toilet. I would like to know if he does that at home with his BM. I bet she cleans after him too. The other one SS10 does not know the use of a rubbish bin. Leaves rubbish all over the house. Thank god their daddy picks it up. Argh! And their dad/my partner has their backs all the time. They are close to perfection when we talk and I vent. I noticed so many people on this forum speak about hiding in their rooms until they are gone. Wow I do that too. I feel a prisoner in my own house. Lonely in a crowd. I don't think I made ever such a good choice to be in this situation.I too pile things up when they are gone and hide them. Hmmmm I think step parenting is one of the hardest things to do, and it's probably for people much stronger, tolerant and enlighted than me. Feeling so stuck in life I'm out of words now Sad