I really just need to get this out:

1.) So SS will not brush his teeth (among other hygeine issues). His teeth are ORANGE. I honestly didn't even know teeth could be orange. DH tries to remind him each morning but sometimes (ususally because SS slept through his alarm that was going off for an hour and they are running late) he doesn't remember to in the shuffle, which I get. I also don't know why a 16 year old needs to be reminded of this. Toddlers do it. So DH today happens to see some toothbrush alternative thing. It looks like a teeth whitener light thing and you just put it in your mouth for three mins and it cleans them. One, I doubt this works. Two, 3 mins! HA SS spends less time than that on his whole morning routine. Third, I told him I am NOT spending money (A CENT) on a device to assist in SS being a lazy slob. I said SS can brush his damn teeth like everyone else in the World. Hell, cavemen had a form of teeth brushing.

2.) Tomorrow we have to go to DH grandmothers for his stepfathers birthday party. I have never met his DHs mother or stepfather. He has a strained relationship with his mother for many reasons, mostly her being very physically abusive when he was a kid and overall just an awful parent. She reached out and he wants to go. I OF COURSE am going to be supportive, he does plenty of things with me he isn't keen on but I DO NOT WANT TO! One, just some stress of meeting the mother. Two, his grandmother is such a passive aggressive bitch. She resents me for not inviting her to our wedding. The wedding that we never had. How the EF am I supposed to invite someone to something that didn't happen exactly? We went to the courthouse then a steakhouse after. (Hated every second of it and am devastated daily I never had any type of wedding). Plus grandmother expects us to always pay for her. She complains we don't take her out to lunch weekly. She has never once offered to so much as pain her own meal let alone treat us. We aren't broke but we have an insane amount of things we are saving for (Vas Reversal, College, A House, Move to another State, Baby, Retirement, Surgery I will eventually need) so we barely even go out. We don't have money to treat her weekly. Mainly I don't want to go because since we found out about it and today I AM DONE with SS. I am disingaging with insane quickess. I dread having to go there and pretend to not hate him so I don't look like a witch. I am dreading the 22  min car ride each way with him in the car babbling about some fing anime crap or video game or his stupid school play. I do not want any part of it. Also, they do not drink. Of all the times I would need a glass of wine this is about number 1!

3.) It is the weekend so that means the terrorist is home all weekend. I miss so much when he was working. He was barely home. I just want him no where near me. He is not working for a while due to doing the school play (which at this point meets like once a week so I don't see the point but whatever).

4.) School ends in exactly 2 months and 1 week. Per the custody agreement BM gets spring break and the first half of summer. Since SS ended up being in semi year round school he gets a fall break too. We have pretty much let her have him anytime. She had him last xmas (woohoo) and will take more of the summer, fall breaks, whatever. So two fold. One I mentioned to husband that maybe he should start talking to her about booking flights now since she always is last minute about it. She seriously complains about the plane ticket each time. It costs the same EVERY FING TIME WOMAN! Plan ahead. Then she books last min so of course spends more. She is the defenition of an idiot. Plus now that kid is working and he really likes it he needs to know his schedule in advance so woman really needs to plan ahead. DH said to her that now that SS has a say in going or not and his own life he can just not go so she should consider his stuff and plan ahead. So help me if he doesn't go I will be institutionalized!!!

TWO, husband said that with all her crap lately and her constantly saying "per the agreement" he is inclined to tell her no more extras and that she can just have him the pre agreed dates and that is IT! I nearly screamed NOOOOO!!!! I want her to have him the whole summer. Hell I want her to have him every day. I would happily pay out the butt child support, out of my own money to never see him again. Oh and she told SS to give his job a copy of their divorce papers so they would have to give him time off for her visits. Babe, they don't have to do anything and how ridiculous is that thought process anyway.

5.) I have some heart issues we are working on, nothing dangerous but I can just feel truly awful. Working on medications working, their side effects which take months to regulate, I regularly feel like crap. Stress makes it worse obviously. I am SOOO fing stressed since SS has been home this week. My back is tweeked, I couldn't even lift my arms the other day my neck is so messed up. I have no friends here (moved to husbands home town temporarily), no car for now (when my lease was up, to save money for a while, I didn't get a new one. I really don't need it that often anyway and I can just take husband 10 mins to work and pick him up any day I do want it) but that being said I can't really go do anything to get away. Plus, I have no one to do anything with and I lived in a tiny town now with nothing to do anyway. Other than walking the aisles of Target there is zero to do. Also my heart issues make me really light headed which cause a certain amount of anxiety because hey it's anxiety inducing to be at the store and feel like you are about to pass out, so always doing things alone is not so easy. I sometimes need someone there so be by my side just in case. Nothign really ever happens and I am working on just sucking it up but it isn't really enjoyable for me to go do something to relax when I just physically feel like I am about to be hauled off to the ER.

Husband works half days Fridays so will be home soon. Our Fridays are nice, we get lunch, run some errands to avoid the crazy weekend crowds, so I am looking forward to that. I just want the rest of the weekend to be done...which sucks because really I Love weekeneds with DH. I just want us to be alone to relax and cuddle without SS around. Just him being in the house tenses me up. His voice is like nails on a chalk board.